UPJOKE
attackbatteryoutrageassailviolateset onbattleraidonslaughtmilitaryviolentravishdishonourdishonorviolation

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It's 1939 and the Soviets are attacking Finland.

So it's 1939, winter, the soviets are attacking Finland and the Karelian isthmus is basically a burning icy hell where peoples throats are cut in nightly raids and their blood turns to ice before their bodies hit the earth.

At one section of the Finnish trenches there are only two guys left ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm proud of myself, I stopped two sexual assaults last night.

I stayed in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

David Blaine has reportedly been accused of two sexual assaults.

Apparently he touched two women and they disappeared.

An arm with no body crawls into a military recruiting station.

The sergeant looks on in amazement as the arm hops onto his desk, grabs a pen and writes;

“I’m here to enlist!”

“You can’t enlist, you’re just an arm!”

The arm quickly wraps itself around the sergeant’s neck and puts him into a submission hold; letting him go just before he pas...

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