UPJOKE
attackbatteryoutrageassailviolateset onbattleraidonslaughtmilitarycommon lawviolentravishdishonourdishonor

Assaults Jokes

A biker is passing the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm proud of myself, I stopped two sexual assaults last night.

I stayed in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

David Blaine has reportedly been accused of two sexual assaults.

Apparently he touched two women and they disappeared.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Generational Trauma is bullshit

My parents belittled me for every small mistake or just being myself as a kid, and I turned out fine. I only have two felony assaults on my record, and I control my anger by making my son cry when I get home from work.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.