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Savage Jokes

savage dentist

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”


Patient: “OK.”


Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”

A savage wife

Wife : I am going to London for a month.What should I bring for you?
Husband: A nice British Blonde...
*after 1 month*
Husband : Where is my gift?
Wife : Wait for 9 months.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is flying a plane over the Amazon, when he suddenly crashes….

But he’s ok, don’t worry. He’s staggering through the jungle when he suddenly realizes he’s surrounded by bloodthirsty savages. And he thinks, “Man, I am totally fucked.”

“No”, a voice booms out from the heavens, “You’re not fucked.”

The voice continues, “Listen to me very carefully. G...

My Mother was so Savage!

She always used to say to me, "Why can't you be like your cousin Walter?" "Why can't you be like your cousin Walter?"

Cousin Walter died at birth!

Savage Grandpa.

Grandson: "Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance?"

Grandpa: "So you can all be really sad when I die."

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Kids can be savage...

This literally just happened a few minutes ago. I work at a school and this one girl was wearing a tee shirt that said "Future Trophy Wife". She was going to some effort to make sure other kids noticed the funny shirt she wore.
Eventually, another student shouted "WHAT KIND OF TROPHY? PARTICIPA...

What has 125 teeth and prevents a savage beast from escaping?

My zipper.

Did you hear about Mike Tyson’s new show with Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman?

It’s called Myth Understanding.

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A Frenchman, Englishman and a Scottish are captured by savages in the deepest jungle of the Amazonas...

Angry, the tribal leader tells them,

"You have trespassed our sacred grounds, and must be punished for it. One hundred times we shall hit each of you with our war clubs, but as traditions decree, all of you will be allowed a single small wish before the clubbing."

The Frenchman, being...

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Three rottweilers at the vet

So Three Rottweilers are at the vet in the waiting room, to be seen. They are looking at each other with curiosity.

One finally talks to one of them and asks, what are you doing here?

The other explains to him, that he was lying quietly in the sun in the front garden when the postman ...

What's Macho Man Randy Savage's favourite capital city?

Skopje!!

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There was a school in England which was infamous for having the savage bullies. [Long]

There was a school in England which was infamous for having the savage bullies. The school used to come in the news fairly regularly for nothing but their bullies. More often than not the school bullies used to line up the other students and hit them in the face. The consequences of not being presen...

Vegans who drink water disgust me.

That's a Fish's house you filthy Savage.

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A Frenchman, an Englishman and an Australian were hiking through some remote mountains.

The weather was oppressively hot when they saw this beautiful lake. They ran down to the lake, stripped off and swam in the wonderfully cool water.

Natives appeared on the shore and captured them and took them before the Chief.

"Lake is our most sacred site. You have violated sacred si...

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Two lovers of a recently deceased woman, both named Jack, attended her funeral.

They did not know about each other, nor the woman’s apparent penchant for lovers named Jack. They both, despite their typical emotional despondency, ended up caring for this woman over their respective affairs. Upon meeting and talking, at the reception, they realized they had both been played. Both...

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A man walks into a bar and asks "There's a Great Dane tied up out front, who owns it?"

Another. guy stands up and says "that's my dog, is there a problem?"

"I'm sorry to tell you, my dog just killed your great dane."

"I can't believe it! My dog was a powerful, savage beast! I raised him from a pup to be a killer! What kind of dog do you have?"

"A Chihuaha."...

Did you know Nebraska has the highest level of depression and extra-marital activity?

It's a sad state of affairs.

Credit: Paul Savage

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Perspective

Three children are playing football in a park. Out of nowhere a large dog runs over to the group and attacks one of them unprovoked.

One of the other children tries to help his friend and kicks the dog in the head, killing it instantly.

A reporter who happened to be passing comes racin...

A conquistador was talking to a native about the superiority of his civilization.

"Unlike you savages we do not partake in cannibalism or human sacrifice. Now eat your body and blood of Christ or we'll burn you at the stake!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Brit, a Frenchie, and a redneck are captured by savages on an island.....

The savages tell them, "we are going to kill you and use your skin to make canoes. However, before we kill you, you may have one last request"

The brit goes first, "I'd like some poison please." He gets the poison, shouts "God save the queen" drinks it and dies.

The Frenchie goes next,...

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