I started carrying a knife after a mugging attempt a few years ago.

Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful.

I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging few years ago.

Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

Magician mugging

I got mugged by a magician the other day. He pulled a knife on me, but what was weird is that it was behind my ear the whole time.

What does Robin Hood shout back as he runs away after a mugging?

"Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!"

An old man was tired of reading about local muggings of seniors in his neighbourhood. (Long)

Determined to not sit back and see the crime wave continue any longer, he decided to take action.

The old fellow learned that according to victim statements and witnesses, the perpetrator was a fairly large woman who walked up to frail seniors and demanded money under threat.

Knowing...

I was victim of mugging once

I had walked down to the grocery store to get a few ingredients for pot roast. I already had the meat in the fridge at home so I really just needed the vegetables. I picked out some onions, carrots, and some potatoes. After paying, I started walking back to my apartment. Some mean looking guy po...

I started carrying a hand gun after a failed mugging attempt.

"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking" -George S. Patton

"When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar; you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say." -George R. R. Martin

I was injured in a violent mugging this afternoon.

On the plus side, I did make $23 and I think this old lady's watch looks really good on me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Japanese invented a thief catching robot.

After running successful lab trials they decided to test it. After deploying in Tokyo the robot caught 35 thieves in 24 hours.

The news Broke out.

Much Impressed, the Brits ordered the robot for themselves. After deploying in London the robot busted 65 thieves under 8 hours.

The...

What is coffee's least favorite crime?

Muggings

If I had a dollar for every mugging in S Chicago...

I'd still have nothing

What does Samuel Jackson say when he is mugging you?

What's in your wallet?

I'm fed up hearing about people mugging O.A.P's for a couple of pounds.

Pensioners should be made to carry a tenner at least.

I was involved in quite a violent mugging the other day.

On the plus side I made a few bucks.

A victim of a recent mugging went to the police for help.

When the victim entered the station she was comforted by the police officer, given a cup of coffee, and was told that they would bring a sketch artist to draw the suspect from her description.

After about 10 minutes, the department's sketch artist comes in and prepares his work space. The off...

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