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I love throwing house warming parties

**But for some reason the police keep calling it 'Arson'.**

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bestiality enthusiast, an arson, a sadist, a necrophile, and a masochist are right outside a psych ward when a cat passes by.

The beastialty enthusiast says "let's fuck the cat," the arsonist says, "let's fuck the cat, then burn it," the sadist says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, then kill it," then the necrophile says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, kill the cat, then fuck it again," and finally the masochist say...

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

I have a friend named Arson!

His name is actually Carson, but we call him that because he’s blind

What do they call arson in France?

Crime brulè

What do parents say when the find out their son got arrested for setting a building on fire

“That’s arson!”

A child sets fires around the community.

Mom: My son is a fire starting monster. I raised a criminal.
Dad: It's arson.

A woman gives birth to a boy...

Husband: I know what we should name him.


Wife: What?


Husband: 'Setting a house on fire'


Wife: What? Why?


Husband: Because he is arson.

me and my pyromaniac wife have a child

He is arson

Dad are we pyromaniacs?

Yes, we arson.

I've been told by people I light up a room

According to police it's called arson and those people are "witnesses"

What do overweight people and arson at prisons have in common?

cellulite

"Did you know your son lit the barn on fire!?!"

You mean "arson"?

Husband: Honey, our son was just arrested for arson.

Wife: Who was arrested for what?

Husband: Arson.

Dad I burnt the school down, am I in trouble?

"You arson."

Honey, I accidentally set your son on fire!

Just kidding, it’s not your son, it’s arson.

Pyromaniac

A pyromaniac teenager decides to burn his family's house down. The cops approach his parents and say, "Looks like someone left the stove on."




"Oh, no," They replied, "it was arson."

What do you call a collection of weapons kept for the purpose of burning down buildings?

An arsonal

What chemical got it's nickname from starting fires?

Arson Nick

Did you know that Jesus was actually crucified for starting fires everywhere?

He died for arsons.

My kid asked if we are a bunch of pyromaniacs

I said, "yes, we arson."

A man had an affair with a school secretary.

A man had an affair with a school secretary. A few years later, the secretary got the wrong number and called the man...

“Sir, I’m sorry to inform you of this, but your child has committed a serious crime on school ground.”

“Oh no,” the man replied. “Was it arson?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Principal: Sorry for calling you in, but your son set the school on fire.

Parents: Arson?

Principal: Yes, your son.

A cigar smoker bought several hundred expensive cigars

And had them insured against fire. After he'd smoked them all, he filed a claim, pointing out that the cigars had been destroyed by fire. The company refused to pay, and the man sued. A judge ruled that because the insurance company had agreed to insure against fire, it was legally responsible. The ...

What did the pyromaniacs say when their kid told them he wanted to be a firefighter?

*gasp* YOU'RE NOT ARSON ANYMORE

A kid decides to burn his house down

His parents just manage to get out as flames engulf the house and they see the kid across the road, looking delighted. The dad wraps his arms around his wife, tears welling up in their eyes, and says ‘that’s arson’.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watching a presidential debate with a friend.

Republican: I am going to smoke crack and burn down all the houses in your hometown.

Democrat: I will also burn down all the houses in that same town, but I will smoking meth, not crack.

Third party rep: I don’t do drugs and disavow arson.

Me to my friend: “I think I’m going to ...

So I live in a small town

The town is really small. There some rich people, but not a lot. One of them, however, is my neighbor. He is a doctor, but also owns a tiny motel with his wife called the Spanish Inn. A couple of years later, the motel mysteriously burns down. The couple tries to file for insurance, but the inspecto...

After our house burnt down, the police said it could be someone we know...

My wife and I had one question. "Could it be arson?"

A kid's parents were told that their kid was involved in a fire

The parents said in unison "But arson didn't do it!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just a typical story repost with a little twist

A proud farmer lying on his deathbed, asked his three sons to find one object that can be used to fill the inside of the barn. The one who can deliver will be chosen as his heir to the farm.

So the oldest son goes to the market to get hay while the middle son go get leaves and the youngest s...

I divorced my wife because she went psycho and burned the house down.

But don't worry. Arson is doing fine.

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a statistician all walk into different rooms, each containing a bucket of water and a garbage can that is on fire.

The engineer walks into his room. He sees the fire, then sees the bucket. He immediately grabs the bucket and dumps the whole thing on the fire to put it out.

The physicist walks into his room and sees the fire and bucket. He takes out a sheet of paper and calculates exactly how much water he...

How did the pirate warn his child about a fire he had set?

He yelled “Arson!”

Motel insurance scam (x-post /r/Unexpected)

A few years ago, I lived in a small rural town in southwestern Texas, near the border with Mexico. My town had a few rich people living in it, and among these was my neighbor. He was a doctor, and also owned a little motel called the Spanish Inn. It was a nice place, and the doctor enjoyed keeping u...

Two Parents Get Arrested

A couple is arrested after they get caught burning their son’s name on farms. Picture a big bonfire, but it spells their son’s name.

It’s a tense ride into the station. The parents are obviously nervous, so the officer makes some small talk.

After a while, though, the curiosity gets ...

But your honor, I didn't mean to hurt anyone when I was playing with fire.

I was just arson around!

After burning a building, a son asks his father

"Are we pyromaniacs, Dad?". The father replies, "Yes, we arson"

After a terrible fire that brought down their home, a man and his wife were grasping for answers

"Do you think it was arson?", she said.

"Which one?", he replied.

Threw my new neighbors a house-warming party...

The police called it arson. Whatever...

A man goes to jail.

Lets just say his name is Phil. After he gets settled in he goes out to the wreck yard. Another inmate notices he is new, approaches him and asks him what he's in for. Phil tells him he has a drug and arson charge. The inmate says, so you lit something on fire and got caught selling drugs? Phil says...

A police officer calls two parents...

"I'm sorry, but your child was caught setting fire to a building yesterday evening."

"No, not arson!"

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