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Onset Jokes

What did the Italian with early onset dementia say?

I fuhgoddaboudit!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the onset of Parkinson's disease, what's the first thing you should do?

Glue your hand to your cock.

What is the best part of having early onset dementia

I can't remember.

I had really bad acid reflux

So I went to the doctor and it was not a big deal but they were able to find early onset cancer. Thank GERD they were able to catch it before it got much worse!

Living beside a groundhog means you get one prediction every morning.

Yesterday I learned that my tomatoes will be ripe in 6 weeks.

Today I learned that my dementia is onset and early.

Group Therapy

A mental health specialist had a group meeting with housewives who wanted to learn about themselves.

They were sitting in a circle and the specialist said, “ Let’s talk about your latent desires. I will start with Martha. Martha, you brought your child with you. What is her name?” ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Quarrantine, Day 12: Excessive teen masturbation has caused zero hair growth on palms. Next update unknown...

...as I will be unable to use Father Calhoun's laptop while he is being treated for sudden onset blindness.

I saw a "Missing Dog" poster

It read:

**Missing Dog!**

Description :

* Male Labrador
* 3 years old
* Missing an ear
* Missing a leg
* Partially sighted
* Has lost large portion of his tail
* Castrated
* Has onset of mange



* Answers to the name of "Lucky"

one of the nice things about getting old

is no longer having to worry about early-onset dementia

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is worried his wife is very ill.

So he takes her to the doctor. The doc runs batteries of tests, looking at every system in her body, and finally comes out to talk to the very worried man in his waiting room.

"Sir, I think we're narrowed down your wife's condition to two possibilities. She either has a serious venereal disea...

Irish Wargames

In light of the present threat created by North Korea, the Irish army decided to conduct the largest military exercise ever in it's history. The entirety of its armed forces were split between the north and south of the island. This is the story of the North Irish 5th infantry battalion.
Each sol...

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