King Arthur has set on his noble mission to drive away the barbarians

Before he left , he called his close friend,Sir Lancelot.

"My bride Guinevere is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to u...

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A teetotaling woman walks into a bar dead set on getting people to stop drinking. She sits next to an older gentleman drinking a beer.

The woman asks, "Excuse me, how many beers do you drink per day?"

"Usually about three."

"And how much do you pay for a beer?"

"Including tip? About $5 per beer."

"How long have you been drinking beer?"

"Oh, about twenty years, I guess."

"So, at three beers ...

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A famous sausage factor gets set on fire.

The flames quickly grew out of control and all near by fire departments are called. The owner of the factory told the firemen that his secret sausage recipe was stored in a vault inside. He proclaimed that the first department to fight off the fire and get the recipes would get a 50000 $ reward. All...

Why did the sun never set on the British Empire?

Even God didn't trust the English in the dark.

What do you call a guy who's laying down in front of a door?...Matt. What do you call a guy floating up and down in the water?... Bob. What do you call a guy leaning against a wall?...Art. What do you call a gal who you owe money to that you set on fire?...

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..BERNADETTE!!!!!!

Programmer's son asks his father: -Dad, why do the sun rise on the east and set on the west?

Father: It works? Don't touch it.

When I was younger, I was dead-set on being buried when I die.

But now, I'm warming up to the idea of being cremated.

A marijuana plantation was set on fire

witnesses claim a dragon is responsible.

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Jimmy was racing his friends to the nearest tree

"Last one there's a piece of shit!" one of the older kids said.

This motivated Jimmy. He was set on winning.

He would not be deterred.

This is awful but what does Mike Tyson say when he gets the job as Death?

"I had my scythe set on you for quite some time."

Sorry I'm bored and just thought of this.

A young Blonde was on vacation in Louisiana

She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, 'Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I ca...

Job application...

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast food establishment.
Not sure if they hired him....


NAME - Greg Bulmash


DESIRED POSITION - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be a...

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Two prawns named Christian and Jason are swimming together on a reef

Being near the bottom of the food chain, both are in danger of being eaten and are constantly scared of any larger fish. Christian loves his life despite the odds, but Jason is unhappy. He wishes to no longer be scared. "Wouldn't it be great if we were the top of the food chain?" Jason says, "imagin...

Name Changes

Several hundred years ago a young hispanic boy was born. His mother wanted to give him a name deserving of her little king. Unfortunately, without medication and in pain she screamed when telling the nurse the name she picked. So instead of Prince, riIINS is what she heard and so Rins was his name. ...

But what he really wants ...

While my mother was pregnant with me, my parents warned my three-year-old brother not to get his heart set on either a brother or a sister, as they didn't know what I would be. He seemed to understand but added this caveat: "Well, if it's a dog, I hope it's a Boxer".

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