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Artists Jokes

Ive just been molested by a group of mime artists...

They did unspeakable things to me.

2 artists had a fight...

It ended in a draw.

When are the great comedian artists often recognized?

Post-humorously.

what's the most commonly used phrase by artists?

Would you like fries with that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[OC] These con artists tried to sell me a glass dildo.

Fortunately, I could see through the hole-fucking thing.

People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain.

No one expects the Spanish ink precision

Vampires are actually very successful artists with a common flaw...

Whenever they are doing a face portrait they always stop below the chin...

Whenever they are sketching a figure they always stop at the top of the shoulders....


But this is cuz they suck at necks.

Picasso said "good artists copy but great artists steal"

I don't understand if this sub if filled with good artists or great artists

In New York there are many tattoo artists from all over the world, but for some reason the artists from Spain have trouble getting business.

Why? Because nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!

I don't trust artists.

They're really sketchy.

Why are artists such fans of gasoline?

Because it makes their Van Gogh

Why are artists so good at self control?

Because they always know where to draw the line.

Artists on Reddit are so uncreative,

Like get over it, someone else has already called theirs Untitled.

What Union do Professional Meme Artists belong to?

The Memesters

My parents were both artists

I call them MoMA and Dada

They say that good artists borrow but great artists steal

Anyways, that's how I got banned from the Louvre.

Muslim artists threw some paint bombs at a local building...

They blue it up.

What’s a artists favorite drink?

Subtle-tea

Me and my wife have been artists together for ten years, and suddenly she splits up with me because I’m sterile?

I’m drawing a blank here.

Doctors are pretty good artists.

They are great at drawing blood.

How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.

Artists on Reddit are pretty unoriginal

Does every one of them have to call their painting Untitled ?

what do martial artists eat?

kung food

Why are origami artists terrible at poker?

They are constantly folding

Why do ghosts make terrible con artists?

Because you can see right through them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While a Teacher was educating her class on how to recognize con artists she noticed one of her students looking down

She pauses her lecture and walks next to the desk of the gloomy child.

"Dear what seems to be the problem?" She asks

The student looks up and says "my mother is in the hospital and my dad is in the police station"

"Oh dear god, you should be at home instead of school! Here I'll ...

I hate all 1970s Female Solo Artists

What a bunch of Pre-Madonnas

I like music by underground artists

Like Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Michael Jackson, John Lennon, Bob Marley and Prince.

Q. Why did Germany provide aid to artists hit by coronavirus?

A. They know what happen when painter suffer setbacks.

I don’t trust caricature artists.

They sketch me out.

What are New Wave artists’ least favorite fruit?

Durian Durian

Two martial artists...

...are arguing over who would win a fight between a skilled swordsman carrying a broadsword and a master wielder of an épée. They agree that the only way to settle the argument is actually to fight one another, each using one of the two weapons. An epic battle ensues and then, the two swordsmen fein...

It’s hard for artists to live off their craft

Sooner or later they all run out of Monet.

Music artists need stop attacking people for no reason

They producing the wrong hits.

What kind of shoes do artists wear?

Sketchers...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are martial artists so stylish?

Cause they always have kick-ass shoes!

Why do artists hate working in really cold environments?

Because all they get is exposure.

Why aren’t there many famous female mime artists?

The glass ceiling.

What do martial artists serve at a party?

All kinds of punch!

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