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Studio Jokes

Leaked NASA documents show the Moon landing was done in a Studio.

On the moon.

Man 1: I heard you had an accident at the pottery studio yesterday. Did you spill glaze all over a woman?

Man 2: Glazed her? Damn near kilned her.

A guy sees Picasso painting something new in his studio..

The guy says "Hey that's a nice painting of a refrigerator!" Picasso furrows his eyebrows and says "Refrigerator? That's my wife!"

Why did the movie studio cancel the film about menstruation?

They wanted to move away from period pieces.

My daughter works at a gymnastic studio that is so accommodating

They bend over backwards

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A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night.

Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer. He raced home and told his wife "Your question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.'

The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgettin...

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A tattoo artist went to a coffee place and ordered coffee but forgot his wallet...

so he tells the woman at the counter that he can't pay for it. The woman gets angry at first and then asks "What can we do about this situation?" The tattoo artist says "Well I can give you a tattoo for free instead and we can call it even". The woman thinks for a while, reluctantly agrees to it and...

I've never brought a gal home to my studio apartment.

Part of me is worried that she'll judge me. After all, the place is pretty small.

But the other part of me is worried that she'll get a terrible sleep. Earplugs help, but even then it takes awhile to get used to my dad's snoring.

I'm opening a new experimental yoga studio!

We will focus on harnessing our inner light and at the same time our inner darkness.
The first test will be the juxtapose.

A friend of mine works in a recording studio and he was telling me which are the best speakers to buy.

It was sound advice.

A local cartoonists studio has burnt down.

Police say that details are sketchy.

Marvel Studios is now against hair coloring

In fact, their next film is about a group of people that never dye

I knew a Guy who had a Fetish for Studio Audiences

He Came with a Laugh Tack.

What did the Mexican say when he left the recording studio?

Audios.

A shady robed man walks into Disney studios.

As he takes off his hood, he reveals the skull of a face he has underneath. The artists and director pause and murmur with each other.



"Are you lost?", they finally ask him.

"No. I'm fairly certain this is the right place. I bring back the dead with just a touch, a skill requir...

Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film.

One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?"
The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book".

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I applied for a job as a fluffer at a porn studio.

I should hear tomorrow if I got it, touch wood.

JFK walks into a photo studio

"I'm here for the headshots..."

When I’m trying to find a hum in my music studio:

Hmmmm.

——

I made this up and no matter how few upvotes it gets im proud because it’s original.

A movie studio is casting roles for a documentary about classical musicians.

Tom Cruise says “I’ll play the part of Mozart”
Liam Neeson says “I’ll make a great Beethoven”
Arnold Schwarzenegger says “I’ll be Bach”

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What do lazy fishermen and porn studios have in common?

They both use casting couches.

Touring Stephen King's writing studio

Stephen King is showing a group of students around his writing studio, chaperoned by their aging English teacher. The students are clearly amazed with the items he has on display.

King leans over the desk to pick up a jar to show the children.

“I’m often asked,’ he says with words thi...

The studio is thinking of producing a remake for Green Lantern

They are waiting for the green light

My Yoga instructor was so hot, I didn't want to leave the studio...

She kept telling me it was done but I said "namaste"

I run a meditation and yoga studio for angry donkeys..

It's called "peace of ass"

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At our tattoo studio, women can flash their boobs to get a discount

The business model we operate on is "tit for tat".

So The Beatles and their producer, George Martin, were in the studio......

Paul: Any ideas on how to end Hey Jude?

John: Nah

George: Nah

Ringo: Nah

George Martin: Nah

Paul: Perfect!

Two Mice Live in a Movie Studio Warehouse

Two mice live in a movie studio warehouse and are looking for food. Suddenly one hears the other chewing.

"What did you find?" he asks.

"I'm not sure, it looks like a piece of film celluloid from an old movie. Let me see...ah, yes - it's from 'Gone with the Wind'".

"And how is i...

Yoga studios are kinda aggresive.

When I go to leave they always tell me "Nah must stay!"

What do you call an art studio on the bad side of town?

Sketchy

An old priest died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven

Next to him was a young Uber driver who died seconds ago from his reckless driving.

The priest was called first, and St Peter said, "For your life long career working for the church, we will give you a small studio where you can stay at for the rest of eternity."

Then St Peter turns to...

What do Universal Studios and Pinocchio have in common?

They both own a woodpecker

Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his studio

The burglar got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.

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A museum curator walks into an art studio...

...and asks the artists to create some art for the American history wing of the museum.

One artist pipes up

“I’m a great history buff, how would you like a piece about Custer’s last stand?”

The curator is pleased with the idea and agrees to pick up the painting in a few days. ...

If Elon Musk started a yoga studio...

...he’d be the owner of a boring company and an inner resting company as well.

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Officers were investigating a crime that took place at a porn studio.

Finding evidence of the perpetrators, One officer said to the other, "They definitely came in here."

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Tom Hanks walks into WB studios

Tom Hanks walks into the WB studios and enters one of the many conference rooms.
As he sits down for the read -through, he notices his fellow peers sitting at the table Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill's mustache, Gal Gadot and a couple of other people he was he was only vaguely familiar with. He picks...

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What’s the name of the second studio album by Nirvana?

Nevermind, I found it.

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What do Disney and porn studios have in common?

They both hire adults who look like teenagers.

A man walks into a sculptors studio and says...

"I would like a bust in my image so how much would that cost?"

The sculptor says " woah you only just walked in the door and you are already talking prices, let's back up a bit"

The man replied " I'm sorry I'm getting a head of myself"

I asked my yoga teacher if he was going to go home from the studio right after class,

He said: Namaste.

What do you call a bunch of chimpanzees who run a children's tv studio?

Nickelodeon executives

A man visited a movie studio and was browsing the wardrobe archives.

He asked a costume designer which were her favourite pieces.

“Well, that shirt there was worn by Pacino. That jacket was put together for De Niro. And these boots were made for Walken.”

Did you hear about the TV anchorman who lost it and shot up the whole studio?

We were all blown away by the news

An old joke from my childhood that is sadly relevant again.

**Bert and Ernie had worked together as radio hosts for twenty years.**

They traded jokes, played pop music and generally made people's lives a touch brighter as they trundled to work.

In one of the breaks they received a Fax. Ernie picked up the page and was in shock. Ernie silentl...

My girlfriend wants to open a yoga studio, even though she currently cannot afford it.

I told her it's a bit of a stretch.

Netflix’s new live-action anime adaption “One Piece” bombs despite majority positive reviews from critics and audiences

The studio blames their poor numbers off the series glorifying piracy.

Where does Phil Collins like to record music?

In the stu-stu-studio.

Have you heard about the fire at the music studio in Gothenburg?

The hole band went up In flames

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Rented myself a little studio in Glasgow. It's so nice that every girl I've brought back has instantly agreed to sex.

I love my aye pad.

A struggling artist stops by the studio where his recent work is hanging for sale.

The owner tells him he has good news and bad news.



“The good news is that a man dropped by the studio today and put in an offer to buy every single piece. He just wanted my guarantee that the works would be worth twice what he paid if you were to pass away. I told him they would doubl...

Why are recording studios paid in exponents of ten?

Because they log-a-rhythm.

(Stolen but golden) Stevie Wonder is in the recording studio at the end of a long hard day.

He's chewing the fat with a few of the technicians.

One of them asks:

“It must be hard being blind Stevie.”

To which Stevie replies:

“Yep, it's hard but at least I'm not black.”

Someone at Sony Studios was arrested for having a bomb in his backpack.

He was released after it was determined that it was the script for Ghostbusters

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Told by my friend years ago in high school [long] [nsfw]

Okay so let me start out by saying when telling this joke, you insert the name of the person you are telling it too. For this joke I will use the name John Johnson as it is the most generic name I can think of. Now for the joke.


Three men were standing in a bar, making small talk. The fir...

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I used to work in a recording studio. My boss always told me the three biggest lies in the music industry are ......

1: The check's in the mail.
2: We can fix it in post.
3: Don't worry, I won't cum in your mouth.

Why did the zombie move into a studio apartment?

Because he didn't need a living room anymore!

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NSFW A farmer goes to a tattoo studio to get a tractor tattoed on his penis

Halfway through he says to the tattoo artist:

"You better put the 4WD on, cause this one is going down a dirty path!""

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[NSFW] So our friend said her dance instructor warned the girls about a level 2 sex offender across the street from the studio

So I looked at her and asked what kind of loot he drops, and how much gold and XP he gives when killed.

NBC is planning a sitcom about the life of Abe Lincoln.

Shot in front of a live studio audience.

A boy and his father were walking down the streets of New York..

The boy passed a fancy jewelry store and saw an expensive watch that he wanted to buy. "Can I have this dad?" "Sorry, we can't afford that right now," the dad replied, and they walked away from the store. That night, the father thought about how he hadn't been able to provide for his family, and dec...

Make your own breakfast

Two youthful artists having a studio in Philadelphia, wherein they not only work but lodge as well, were obliged to make shift, not long ago, during a period of financial stress, with such meals as they could themselves prepare in the studio.

One morning, as the younger of the two was 'sketch...

Months ago I ordered a bunch of art....

From a really cool lithography studio, but none of it has arrived yet. I just have to hope that someday my prints will come.

A old TV psychic is given a question in an envelope and asked for the answer to said question without opening the envelope. The psychic holds it up to his head, concentrates, and says "The Answer! Is! 'Perpetuate!'"

Then, the old psychic opens the envelope to read the note inside out loud to the studio audience and says, "The Question! Is! How does a Chinese deli charge their customers...?!"

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focus

Two poor country girls are broke and decide to do some nude modeling. Cherylynn has posed for the photographer before so she knows the process.

The photog invites them into his studio and offers them a drink. Darlene,being nervous, asks Cherylynn "whass that there in that jug?". The reply is ...

A yoga instructor ends every class with a mediation, allowing people lay down and relax before slowly filing out for the night. A half hour passes and the instructor is surprised to see one man remain in her studio.

Annoyed, she walks over to him and asks if he plans on leaving anytime soon .
The man takes a deep, meditative breath and calmly replies, “Nah, Imma stay”.

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The Lodger

Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their terrace house.

After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a near-by city center studio for a few week...

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An old married couple are reminiscing about their marriage

The husband says to the wife, "Do you remember when we first got married? Lived in that crappy little studio apartment, had that tiny black and white TV, and drove that rusty old Ford? My only consolation was getting to go to bed every night with a hot 22 year old. Now we have this huge house with a...

What did the shirt say to the pants?

What up britches!





(At a photography studio today, taking an extended family picture with like 15 people there. This is what the photographer said to get us to smile. I couldn't stop laughing, and was beet red. We had to wait for me to calm down. I'm a middle age married ma...

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An Artist in Japan

An English Manga artist is offered a job in Japan - by Studio Ghibli. He arrives in Tokyo 7 hours early, so decides to visit the red light district. Here he bangs a geisha for 5 hours solid - with her screaming "Machigatta ana Machigatta ana" at the top of her voice. Which puts a big smile on his fa...

I don’t know why everyone thinks Avengers: Endgame is long...

Isn’t it Marvell Studios’ twenty second movie?

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An XM station was looking for a sportscaster...

An XM sports station was looking for a new sportscaster for play-by-play commentary for football games. The producer had two possible candidates lined up, and he brought them to meet the station manager.

The station manager was impressed by the first young man. He was bright, well-spoken, dre...

The day when my laptop was bored :(

The other day, my laptop asked me "Can we do something **hot,** just turn me on?!"

I replied, "Absolutely!!"

I opened **Android Studio** along with **30 chrome tabs**.





It was the **hottest thing** we ever did.

I faced the wrong way on live television.

Back to the studio.

I met a cricket who does meditation classes to realign chakra energy.

The studio is called Flowcust.

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Bob had finally made it

to the last round of the "$64,000 Question" show. The night before the big question, he told the host that he desired a question on American History.

The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the week. He was the be...

In the 90s, it had become pretty hip to include just one or two minorities in a Hollywood movie.

One studio always put just one Black guy in each of their movies as a diversity hire. You know, the clerk at a convenience store, some guy in the background, one of the protagonist's lesser of many friends. Someone who wouldn't get a lot of screen time, would probably die first.

During a 1994...

Jeff was a prolific name dropper and his mate Jack had had enough.

“Surely you don’t know every person you mention,” he said.

“Sure do,” replied Jeff. “I know them all.”

Wanting proof, Jack wagered Jeff that he could find someone he didn’t know, a bet that Jeff accepted. They jumped on a plane and flew to Marvel Studios.

“OK,” said Jack, ...

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I’m not Rabbi-ing it

I was shocked to hear my Rabbi was going to start a martial arts studio...

He calls it Jew Jitsu

Larry, Moe and Joe die and go to heaven

At the pearly Gates, St Peter tell them well since you were overall good people I’ll let you into Heaven however all your Heavenly possessions will be based on how faithful you were to your spouses. Let’s start with you Larry: in 20 years of marriage you cheated on your wife Jennifer 5 times, that m...

Me on the Ellen show

Ellen: So I heard you like nothing

Me: Yup

Ellen: “the void starts swallowing up the entire studio”

Me: OMG Ellen you didn’t!

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The Politician and Sex Workers

A politician visited Sex Workers Anonymous in order to get more information about how these women in his community were doing. He meets three poor prostitutes and speaks to them that their lifestyle is hurting them and that depending on how often they were engaged in the business, he would provide t...

People could never make 'Blazing Saddles' nowadays.

If you gave the script to a movie studio, they'd say, "This is the script for 'Blazing Saddles,' why are you giving this to me?"

Today I was approached by Beyonce

Today I was approached by Beyonce who had just finished setting up at the studio. She said to me, "Excuse me hon. You haven't seen my phone have you? It's pink with a 'Bubblicious' cover on it."

I said, "No, sorry. Have you tried calling it?"

She said, "No. I put it on silent."

...

A man's mother was having back problems.

He took her to the doctor, who upon inspection told her that she just needed to get some regular stretching done, and prescribed a private yoga tutor. The mother was very much against this idea at first, and the son was skeptical as well, but after some convincing by the doctor, they agreed to give ...

All these women-casted movie reboots

The studios behind the women-casted reboot movies must be making a fortune by cutting their labor costs by 30%

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A woman was just taking a bath when she heard the doorbell.

She thought she’d just pretend not to be home but then the ringer called, “Hello? Anybody home? I’m the blind guy!”

“Ah well, if he is blind I can go and open the door just like this. No need to dress.” thought the lady, hauled herself out of the bath and went to open the door.

“Wow,” ...

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An Irish man decides to go on Mastermind....

He's called to the chair.

'Your chosen subject?' asks the presenter.

'Easter Rising of 1916, sir,' he replied.

Time starts now ... What was the date of the Easter Rising of 1916?'

'Pass.'

'Who led the Easter Rising of 1916?'

'Pass.'

'How many men were...

There was a curly haired painter who was very successful.

There was a curly haired painter who was very successful. But then there came a new artist who's painting rivaled even his own best pieces. The usually very calm and docile curly haired man started to resent this competition and plotted how to get rid of him. Over the years he tried, unsuccessfully...

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