Applying Jokes

I said, “No. Is that still required?”

The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and w... read more

They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out."

She looked surprised.

and for the final portion, the proctor says "okay, I need you to come up with an English sentence that contains the words 'green, pink and yellow'."

The man smiled and said "When the phone goes 'green green', I pink it up and say 'yellow'!"

In the wake of WWII, the newly founded CIA needed the best of the best. An American, an Italian, and a German have made it to the final round of interviews.

The three are sitting together in a barren room, when an agent walks in.

"Congratulation, each of you have made it to the final ... read more

They are asking for five letters of reference.

My stage name is Claude Balzac.

The boss looks over their resumes, sees they are all equally qualified, and can't decide who to hire. He decides to give them a test.

Boss: Fellas, I can't decide who gets the job, you are all equal in
every way. So here's a question, whoever gives me the best
an... read more

I went back to see my doctor today.

I said, "I applied the hemmeroid cream that you gave me this morning and I got a very nasty reaction."

"Where exactly did you apply it?" he asked.

I replied "on the bus."

It's just something I can see myself doing.

99% of the responses you get will begin with "Thank you for your submission! Unfortunately..."

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track.""What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector."Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the... read more

Hiring manager: what is your ability?

Diver: i can work under pressure

They're lined up outside the Citizenship and immigration office, along with many others, not wanting to risk deportation now that Trump is in office.

>Guy #1: I've had enough of this waiting, save my place, I'm going to shoot Donald Trump myself.

several hours later he returns.
<... read more

I hope I'm not paid in peanuts.

In the section where it says "occupation" .. do you just put ISRAEL?

There are three people applying for the same job. One is a mathematician, one a statistician, and one an accountant. The interviewing committee first calls in the mathematician. They say "we have only one question. What is 500 plus 500?" The mathematician, without hesitation, says "1000." The commit... read more

The boss looked at them and said " I don't care about your looks, my only criteria is if you are qualified for the job, the one who answer my question will be hired"

Then he asked the beautiful girl " what is China's population?" the girl answered " 1,400 billion"

The boss said " good... read more

They both get to the end of the interview process when they are told there is only one test left. They are brought into a room where the interviewer says to the man:

"Through this door is your wife, I need you to take this gun, go in there and shoot her."

So the man goes through the d... read more

**ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:**

Hiring recent college grads

**REQUIREMENTS:**

5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and superpowers.

You get rejected...a lot

Interviewer: What would you say is your biggest flaw?

Me: My bedroom's is pretty big, but I'd have to go with my living room.

So that vacancy.

at the job interview, they each get asked the same simple question, and are told to justify their answer. The question is, "what is two plus two?"

The lawyer takes out his briefcase and produces the 1978 docket wherein the case of Casey vs the State, two plus two was proven to be four.
... read more

...They meet with the rental agent and are discussing details of the property. One of the ants says "so this ant next to me is Dave, we met in university - great guy. Sarah, Jack and Bobby over there I met through work at the ant hill two trees over, we used to go out leaf hunting together - so much... read more

Manager: '' So you will start at $15 a hour and later you could earn at least $20 a hour. ''

Applicant: ''Alright then I'll be back later! ''

They were each handed an envelope which says DO NOT OPEN. And were given an instruction to go to the elevator and proceed to the 7th floor

The first and second applicant followed the instruction.

The 3rd applicant headed to the elevator, and when the elevator door closes, his curiosit... read more

Applying the same logic.

If all men are pigs.
And Men and women are equal.

Then all women are pigs.

The sheriff said I have one test, "I give you a gun and you have to shoot 4 blacks and a rabbit".
The man looked a bit confused and asked "why a rabbit?"
The sheriff replied "you're hired".