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Ask For Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman who is constantly embarrassed by her husband falling asleep in church goes to the priest to ask for help.

The priest says, "Look love, if he falls asleep again, poke him with this hat pin. I'll nod to you as a signal to poke him.". The woman agrees to the plan.

So Sunday rolls around and sure enough, good old Mr. Jones nods off again. The priest notices and asks, "Who is our savior?" then nods to...

A Priest, Rabbi and Atheist walk into a bar and each ask for a drink.

The bartender, saying nothing and looking disdainful, points to a sign clearly labelled: NO JOKES SERVED HERE

Without a fight the Priest, Rabbi and Atheist leave the bar, heads hanging.

The next day a chicken walks in and plops down on the barstool.

Wiping the inside of a glass,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This wealthy couple are employing a housemaid. She decides to ask for a raise.

She goes to the lady and asks: “Ma’am, I’d like a raise.”

The lady responds: “A raise? But why on earth? I see no reason why.”

The housemaid says: “Well, for starters, I cook better than you, ma’am.”

The lady gets annoyed and replies: “Where does that come from?”

“Well, M...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've had enough of Christmas. All year long I work my fingers to the bone to buy all the presents that my kids ask for and what happens Christmas morning? That fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit for it!

Still I suppose it was my fault for marrying her.

How To Ask for A Raise

EMPLOYEE: Excuse me, sir, may I talk with you?

BOSS: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?

EMPLOYEE: Well, sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over 10 years.

BOSS: Yes...

EMPLOYEE: I won’t beat around the bush, sir. I would lik...

When someone says to me, "A penny for your thoughts?" I ask for a quarter

It makes more cents.

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.

No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.

A boy asked his mom: "Before I was born, what did you ask for? boy. or a girl". Mom replied

"towel"

I went to my boss to ask for a raise. I told him 3 companies were after me.

Asked my boss, “Which 3 companies?”

“Gas, electricity and water”

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