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Misuse Jokes

I hate when people misuse abbreviations

smh my head

People really misuse the word 'chivalry'

They think its politeness towards women. It's actually not. I looked it up online, and only some of it is about respect and politeness. The rest of it is about medieval battle etiquette.


The other day I didn't hold the door for a woman. She proceeded to say,"I guess chivalry's dead". So,...

I hate the misuse of Latin phrases...

...and vice versa.

What do you call the misuse of a meme?

A misdememer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend is always correcting me when I misuse the word "less"

She's not just a Grammar Nazi, she's the Fewer Fuhrer!

The misuse of users’ Facebook data has caused Mark Zuckerberg significant emotional distress.

He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.

One Sunday a military chaplain was giving a sermon on service members misuse of the word “hell” in every day life.

With fire and brimstone vigor he expostulated on the absurdity of expressions such as: “What the hell do you want?” “Get the hell over here!” “Where the hell have you been?!” and many others.

As always he greeted his parishioners as they exited the chapel and sure enough, a crusty old Mari...

I never misused the word ironic, ironic right?

it's a bit of a paradox. THINK!

People who misuse apostrophes can go to he'll.

(OC)

I often misuse common phrases

People are always pulling me off for it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anal sex and this joke: what do they have in common?

A misused colon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some worrying news for grammar Nazis, a new study shows...

that homophone misuse is at an awl thyme hi.

A young man goes into a confessional booth and confesses to the priest that he used the Lord's name in vain.

"Tell me what happened my child, so we may begin the path of forgiveness." Said the priest behind the curtain.

"I was golfing," began the man. "And my first shot went deep into the rough."

"Ah, and that is where you misused the Lord's name is it?" Replied the priest.

"No father,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do English teachers hate anal sex?

Because they can't stand it when you misuse a colon.

CIA assessment center

After the standard round of interviews, a good dozen of applicants sit before the director of the CIA office.

"Trust is central to our business, ladies and gentlemen. Still, intelligence, precision and punctuality are nearly as essential. So, to the test: You have an envelope with a coded add...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Email Joke

It's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.

Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to me...

Every 40 seconds...

A statistic is misused.

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