A doctor says "The good news is it's all in your head."

"The bad news is it's brain cancer."

I value simplicity above all in my life

Maybe that's just because I'm lazy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All in a nights work

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says ...

A Texan buys a round of drinks for all in the bar.

A Texan buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 pounds.


Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW"! were heard. A woman faints due to sympathy pains.


T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When you’re dressed all in black and some smart ass asks you who died, simply look around the room and say

“I haven’t decided yet."

David Cameron, Barack Obama Robert Mugabe are all in crashing plane with one parachute. The crew have already jumped in blind panic.

(my friend told me this back in 2016, hence the political outdatedness)

After the initial panic, they pull themselves together and decide what to do. Finally, Cameron speaks up

"Right" he says. "We're all from democratic nations, so I suggest we hold a vote as to who should get the par...

My printer has started printing scary stories in the middle of the night. Somehow they’re all in Braille.

It’s giving me Goosebumps

What do you call a color that's all in your head?

A pigment of your imagination

What's a Redditor's favorite kind of vehicle, favorite kind of food, and favorite kind of teacher all in one word?

A sub

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Square Enix, Ubisoft, EA and Valve are all in class.

They're all taking a quiz. The teacher tells them that'll have 60 minutes to complete the quiz and that they'll be graded immediately. An hour later, the teacher collects their test sheets and begins grading.

Square Enix answered every question correctly, even the extra credit essay question...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mexican, a chinese guy and an american are all in a desert...

The mexican has a giant leaf, the chinese guy has a hat and the american has a car door.

The mexican says he likes to fan himself when it gets hot.

The chinese guy says he likes to wear his hat.

And the american finally says that he likes to roll down the window.


...

Snow White and the 7 Dwarves were all in bed feeling happy

Happy got out, so they started feeling grumpy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's all in the Bible

A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there. After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, "Preacher, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS....

Where in Wales is the best place to get all in one Pyjamas?

Swansea

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s all in the breasts

So these three young women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, are in a race to see who can swim the breaststroke fastest all the way across the English Channel.

12 hours and 30 minutes after the start of the race the brunette arrives on the far side and is pronounced the winner. 1 hour la...

I was at the hospital today when a man dressed all in camouflage stole my wheelchair and crutches: Little does he know.

He can hide but he cannot run.

My favourite way to dress is all in black.

My sense of fashion is second to nun.

I'll show myself out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting on his favorite bench in the park, watching kids play and couples stroll by hand in hand, all in all a nice morning.

After a while, he notices two men in the distance, each carrying a shovel. The first one digs a big hole, goes six feet forward, and digs the next. The second one waits about two minutes, and fills the holes again behind his buddy.

This goes on until they have dug and filled ten holes, after ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An alcoholic, a sex addict, and a stoner are all in hell...

The devil comes up to each of them and says he'll grant them each one wish.

So the devil goes and asks the alcoholic what he would like to wish for and the alcoholic responds "I wish for all the liquor I can drink!" The devil grants his wish and moves on to the sex addict. The sex addict wi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A meth user, An alcoholic, and a prostitute are all in a car. Who's driving?

The Police.

A Cuban man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all in a plane.

The pilot comes to the back and says "the plane is going down, we need to lose as much weight as possible."

The Cuban man throws a crate of cigars off the plane and says "we have plenty of those in Cuba, I won't miss them."

The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explain...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All in favor of using homophones interchangeably

say "eye".

All in a day's work in jornalism

A young journalism student at the University of Tennessee was assigned to write a human interest story, so he went up into the mountains were he found an old farmer sitting on his porch. He introduced himself, explained his mission, and asked, "Has anything ever happened here that made you really ha...

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Indian man were all in the maternity ward of a hospital ready to collect their babies.

When a midwife comes over to them and explains, "I'm sorry gentlemen, but there's been a mix-up with the babies and we no longer know whose is whose."

The Englishman immediately goes over to the brown baby and picks it up.

The midwife asks, "are you sure that's your baby, sir?"

...

Listen guys, I know this sub is all in good fun, but I don't think it's right to be making dumb jokes about obese people.

They already have enough on their plates.

An American, a Frenchman, and a Canadian are all in a boat...

An American, a Frenchman, and a Canadian are all in a boat. The boat is sinking.

The Frenchman throws a baguette off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."

The American throws a computer off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."
...

My mother is Polish and my father was not, so growing up we heard a lot of Polish jokes from my father. All in good fun of course. Here is my favorite.

Yosh and Stosh decided they were going to take a vacation back to their native land Poland. So they’re on the plane halfway across the Atlantic and everything is going great when the captain makes an announcement over the intercom.

“Folks, were having a little trouble with on of the engines ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into Radio Shack and sees that they have "The All In One Female Office Bot" now for sale!

The man walks up to the counter and asks the employee, "what is so special about that robot?"

"She is an all in one. If you squeeze her left breast, she will write down anything that you say and if you squeeze the right breast, she will type anything for you." the employee states.

"I'l...

All in all...

...it was a good orgy...

An obstetrician once told me that telling a joke is all in the delivery.

So now you know.

A Rabbi, an Imam, and a good old boy redneck American Soldier are all in a plane crash and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the pearly gates.

Saint Peter says to them "You've each made mistakes in your lives that could delay your entry into heaven, but I'm willing to let all three of you in at once if you can find something good in your brother standing beside you."

The Imam looks at the Rabbi and says "Surely this fellow man of Go...

I picked up an upside down bag of candy and ate it all in one go.

I just love W&W's.

So a Korean man, a Syrian man, and a Mexican man are all in a truck. Who's driving?

Immigration.

A blonde, a brunette, and a Redhead are all in a bar

The bartender goes up to them and says "Hey ladies, I can grant you a wish if you can tell me one true statement."
"However if you lie to me, you will disappear.
Skeptical, the redhead goes up first and says
"Okay, then I think I am the prettiest one in this room."
The bartender says <...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you tell a crazy Jew that it's all in his head?

"It's psychosemitic"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's all in creating a need

A young man in need of a job, appies at a tooth brush company. The sales manager takes a look at him and doesn't think he is up to the job.
Then he ask the young man how he plans on selling his product and he replys "it's all in creating a need". The manager likes his idea so he give him a box...

It's all in the delivery

A man is on a business trip and decides for a little fun he'll visit a local pub. When he walks in the door a patron shouts out "27!", and that gets a chuckle out of the other patrons. Confused the man walks to the bar, while vying for a drink another man shouts "103!". The crowd starts laughing aga...

The Jones didn't have any children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife and said, "I'm off, honey. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell with the hopes of making a sale.

"Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to....."

"Oh, there's no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Jones cut in.

"You have?" the photographer asked....

Postal service jokes don't need much setup

It's all in the delivery

An Athiest in hell

An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No...

What do mitochondria, Bill Cosby, and my friend Clint all have in common?

They're all incels.

A group of DnD players walk into a bar

The bartender asks, “what’re you all in for?”

The group says “we’re hunting mimics”

The bartender laughed, the group laughed, the table laughed. They killed the table

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.