Advertised Jokes - 20 Hilarious Advertised Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Old joke) A supermarket opened up next to a small grocer and to show how much cheaper they were put a big sign out the front advertising butter.

The grocer used to sell butter for 50p a packet, but the supermarket advertised it for 49p. The next day the grocer put a big sign on the front saying:

Butter: 48p

The supermarket couldn't afford to lose face so the next day it was loudly advertising:

BUTTER, ONLY 47p

How...

Personally, i think that Tide pods are even better than advertised.

I mean, anything that can clean your clothes and the gene pool in the same product...

I advertised a python for sale in the paper

a man rang up and said “What size is it?”
I replied “It’s quite big”

“How many feet?” he asked,

“None, it’s a snake...”

Lodger: "But you advertised that one could see for miles from this room!"

Landlady: "Well, so you can. You can see the moon through the skylight, and ain't that miles away?

I recently entered a competition to see who had gained the most weight and lost the most hair.

Obviously, it wasn’t called that. It was advertised as a ‘School Reunion.’

The sunglasses I ordered were much darker than advertised.

I blame a lack of transparency

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A traveler checked in at a hotel that advertised widely as offering

everything a client might desire. The traveler at once called room service. "I want to have brought to my room," he said, "a young virgin
between the ages of 18 and 19, who must have blonde hair and blue eyes. I also want sent up 4 pieces of strong rope, each exactly 4 feet in
length, and a ...

When I put up my artificial Christmas tree every year I hate bending all the branches back in to shape. This year I advertised on Craigslist for a "fluffer."

Boy, did I get a lot of weird responses.

As advertised

I opened a can of evaporated milk today. It was empty.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I saw a job advertised as a fanny waxers assistant"

Job includes; removing ladies knickers, prepare fanny for waxing and rub oil in after waxing. When i asked at the job centre, they said i had to go to Cornwall. I said, "why is that where the job is?" No they said, "thats where the back of the queue is!!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy fuels up his car in a gas station advertised with "Free With Every Fuel Up"...

So after fueling up his car and going inside to pay the man asks the cashier, "where is my free ?" "Well there is a catch" replies the cashier "you have to guess a number from 1-10 if you get it right then you get the free " so the man answers 7. "Ah so close it was 8" replies the cashier. A f...

What does McDonalds and your tinder hook-up have in common?

They don’t look as good as advertised but you’ll eat them anyways.

Three guys go in for a job interview.

The first guy goes in and kicks , best job interview he’s ever done in his life. End of the interview comes around, the interviewer says:

“By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”

“Yeah,” says the guy… “You don’t have any EARS, man!”

“I’m sorry, says the intervie...

There is a restaurant that advertises that it will serve you anything you want, but if they can't, then they will gift you $5000 as an apology.

A man passing by sees this message advertised at the entrance, and believes this to be bullshiet, but decides to try it out anyway.

He enters and a waiter takes him to a table. The waiter asks, "What would you like to eat today, sir?"

Man: "I would like an elephant's ear and a muffin ...

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid

to cook and do the housework.

They hired a lovely lass for the job.

She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit.

"But why?" asked the disappointed wife.
...

I was driving down the road when I passed a that advertised it had "high caliber women".

To this day I still can't understand why they wouldn't want someone under 45 working there.

Don't trust the farmer! The poultry he advertised was far better than the produce he sold!

When I challenged him, he only apologised for giving me a misleading egg-sample.

I went to a record store today. They advertised that they had hard-to-find records

nothing was alphabetized.

An Irish Lumberjack

A large Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the Foreman's door.

The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. "Just give me a chan...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday, I was walking down the street when I met a gorgeous blonde woman with perfect breasts who was almost as tall as me. She offered to have with me if I advertised a car, but I refused because my priorities are high.

But not as high as the quality of the 2022 Honda CRV.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.