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Accidents Jokes

What vehicle gets into most car accidents?

A Dodge Ram.

Some people call their mistakes "happy accidents"

But some people get more creative and give them cute little names like Nathan or Thomas, just like my parents did.

Why does the Toyota Prius have more accidents on record than any other car?

It's really hard to drive safe while patting yourself on the back.

95% of all car accidents occur within one mile of home.

So I moved two miles from my old house. Now I'm safe!

People in cars cause accidents.

Accidents in cars cause people.

Women are responsible for roughly 45% of car accidents

Which is pretty high, considering the steering wheel isn't even on their side.

The #1 cause for accidents in Georgia is deer.

Which is crazy to me since they can’t drive.

Children left alone in the backseat can cause accidents,

which is ironic considering that accidents in the backseat can cause children.

“There are no accidents...”

Master Oogway uttered, before he took one look at me and said

*”There are...some accidents”*

A hockey player was asked, 'How many accidents have you had in your career?'

The player responded, 'None for sure. I've had two concussions, lost all my front teeth, have had my nose broken four times, but they weren't accidents. The opponents did it on purpose'.

Most accidents happen due to children in the front seat

and most children happen due to accidents in the back seat

The **car** is the cause of em all troubles!

Since quitting alcohol, my car has seen much fewer accidents.

Now I just need to encourage it to stop smoking.

Bob Ross used to say, "There are no mistakes, just happy little accidents."

Lovely man, terrible driving instructor.

Have you heard about the Tesla cars being converted into stretch limousines and causing accidents with faulty steering.

The media are calling it Elongate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

17% of car accidents are caused by drunk drivers.

That means that 83% are caused by sober drivers.

When will these damn sober jerks get off the road so that our safety can be multiplied by 6?

After major accidents with lots of preventable injuries, there’s always a wave of lawsuits.

The sue-nami.

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