Mr. Chair is in distress after Mrs Chair went under surgery, even after it went successful, with no incidents whatsoever.

So one of his friends asks Mr Chair what happened. And he answered: "I've been married to my wonderful and lovely Mrs Chair for fifteen years, and now this doctor comes with a stupid smile on his face and tells me she's table!"

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Obligatory: English is not my native tongue, so sorry f...

No one has even heard of this Qasem Soleimani guy up until the recent incidents...

It’s like he blew up over night or something

TIL wooden shoe failure is responsible for multiple deaths each year in the Netherlands. The incidents are archived on this government website.

The Broken Clog Croakin' Blog

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got called into human resources today because of a couple of incidents and was asked if I knew the difference between left and right wing. Outraged, I told them to fuck off as my politics was my business! They still fired me though...

...turns out aircraft are really expensive to fix.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a recently married man goes to the attic of his new home to put a few things in storage.

While he is there, he notices a large steamer trunk sitting in the corner. When he tries to open it, he finds it is locked. Puzzled and curious, he calls his new bride up to the attic and asks her about the trunk.

She tells him that it is hers and that it only contains some personal things. ...

In light of the recent fentanyl incidents. Who would have thought the solution to the war on drugs...

Was just stronger drugs???

Authorities have released the name of the United passenger from yesterday's incident

Soo Yoo

How would you write “I changed a light bulb” on your resume?

Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.

What do you call shy bladder incidents?

Frozen pees

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