Mr. Chair is in distress after Mrs Chair went under surgery, even after it went successful, with no incidents whatsoever.

So one of his friends asks Mr Chair what happened. And he answered: "I've been married to my wonderful and lovely Mrs Chair for fifteen years, and now this doctor comes with a stupid smile on his face and tells me she's table!"

-

Obligatory: English is not my native tongue, so sorry f...

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One day, a recently married man goes to the attic of his new home to put a few things in storage.

While he is there, he notices a large steamer trunk sitting in the corner. When he tries to open it, he finds it is locked. Puzzled and curious, he calls his new bride up to the attic and asks her about the trunk.

She tells him that it is hers and that it only contains some personal things. ...

No one has even heard of this Qasem Soleimani guy up until the recent incidents...

It’s like he blew up over night or something

TIL wooden shoe failure is responsible for multiple deaths each year in the Netherlands. The incidents are archived on this government website.

The Broken Clog Croakin' Blog

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I got called into human resources today because of a couple of incidents and was asked if I knew the difference between left and right wing. Outraged, I told them to fuck off as my politics was my business! They still fired me though...

...turns out aircraft are really expensive to fix.

In light of the recent fentanyl incidents. Who would have thought the solution to the war on drugs...

Was just stronger drugs???

What government organization only investigates incidents involving frozen water?

The Just-Ice Department.

How would you write “I changed a light bulb” on your resume?

Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents.

Authorities have released the name of the United passenger from yesterday's incident

Soo Yoo

What do you call shy bladder incidents?

Frozen pees

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Kotaku throwback

Best Buy Customer Rep: "Good afternoon, welcome to Best Buy. What brings you in to see us today?"

Customer: "I'm pretty interested in one of those new 3D tv's but I thought I'd check it out before I buy. I'm a little concerned over the image quality."

Rep: "I understand your concern si...

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A Boeing 777 was flying from New York to Paris...

A Boeing 777 was flying from New York to Paris when it encountered some heavy turbulence over the Atlantic. The captain has a decade of flying under his belt and manages to get through the turbulence without any major incidents.

He then switches on the intercom and says, “This is your captai...

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