UPJOKE
detonationburstblastgasexplodebackfireoutburstbombexplosivecrashvolumeblowupenergyplosionexploded

There was a gas line explosion at the cheese shop in my town

Debrie was everywhere.

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory in France?

There was de brie everywhere..

An old joke from my childhood that is sadly relevant again.

**Bert and Ernie had worked together as radio hosts for twenty years.**

They traded jokes, played pop music and generally made people's lives a touch brighter as they trundled to work.

In one of the breaks they received a Fax. Ernie picked up the page and was in shock. Ernie silentl...

It is 1939 and the Soviet army is marching onwards to Finland.

As they pass the border, they hear a Finnish voice over the hill;


"One Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!"

The Soviet general laughs, as he sends 10 men on the hill to capture it. There is gunfire for a minute and then everything goes silent for a moment, and they ...

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When Indiana Jones was a kid he had a collection of model trucks.

He loved those trucks and he and the neighbour's kid would spend hours playing with them on a special table that was used only for Indy's trucks. They would set up elaborate dioramas on the 'truck table', adding to the displays whenever Indy came into possession of a new truck.

Fast forward a...

There's been an explosion at the paint factory where my brother works.

He's missing, presumed red.

A gigantic gas explosion in a coal mine in the next town killed thirty workers and hospitalised two hundred. But I refused to give to the support charity.

After all, it was only miner injuries.

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My sex life is like an explosion

I watch them online, but never take part

An explosion happened at a clothes store.

There were many casual tees.

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I just failed a fire safety course when they asked what steps I would take in case of an explosion.

Apparently “Fucking large ones” wasn’t an acceptable answer.

Did you hear about the explosion at the Scottish clothing company?

Such losses. The police are notifying the next of kilt.

I was involved in quite a bad explosion the other day.

I was buying a grenade and the woman at the counter said "Can I have your pin please?"

Do t-rex like explosions

I dont know but another dino might

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A Redditor accidentally trips and sets off an explosion in a precious metal mine. What’s the first thing they say?

Holy crap this blew up!

Uhhh thanks for the gold stranger!

Did you hear about the kettle explosion?

Luckily, there were no casual-teas.

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A Russian soldier is assigned to the training exercise

A Russian soldier is assigned to a squad near the front of the training exercise to replace a fallen komrat. He is warned that the training is hard with many death, and the squad members are a bit excentric, so he should just try to fit in.


He arrives to a camp of about 10 men and a cou...

With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.

A coronaissance, if you will.

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(NSFW) An Alien craft lands in the middle of nowhere. One of the aliens walks up to a gas pump and says "Take me to your leader"...

An Alien craft lands in the middle of nowhere. One of the aliens walks up to a gas pump and says "Take me to your leader".

The gas pump doesn't respond.

The alien repeats his demand "Take me to your leader"

Again, the gas pump does not respond. The alien starts to get a litt...

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A flavor explosion

To spice up Fajitas with flavor on top.

I picked up a bottle of Frank's Extra Hot.

My payment for daring this flavourful ocean.

Is me on a throne with an anal explosion.

We had an explosion in one of our chemistry labs last week.

Nobody got hurt, but the chemist responsible is the laughing stock of his group.

We use a lot of helium in the military, that's why when there's a shortage you can't get it for balloons - it's being stockpiled by the DOD. We use it to stabilize a variety of substances for storage.

On...

Recently my rug got destroyed due to multiple explosions.

I guess you could call it a carpet bombing.

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Aliens Encounter A Gas Station

Two aliens from outer space come down to Earth and land next to a gas station. They debate who to talk to and approach a gas pump. The one alien commands, "Take me to your leader." Nothing happens. The alien gets angry, points his ray gun and says, "Take me to to your leader or I'll zap you to dust!...

I had to use a yardstick to stop a bomb explosion...

Drastic times call for drastic measures

Putins army is on an assault in Ukrainian.

And a platoon is making their way through a Wooded area when someone heard a twig snap over the hill in front of them.
The commander sends a scout out in front to find out what was in front of them. Some minutes go by and their scout calls out “an Ukrainian man is spotted about 200….. pzzz” and t...

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Two explosions walk down the street...

Two explosions walk down the street when an implosion silently walks past them. The first explosion says to the other explosion: „Fucking introverts“

Did you hear about the explosion at the Nissan factory?

It was raining Datsun cogs.

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Two aliens landed in the desert near a petrol station that was closed for the night.

They approached one of the pumps assuming it was an earthling and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, we come in peace. Take us to your leader.'

The pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien was stumped. The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' But t...

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Stanley was killed in a freak explosion in his garage...

There was nothing Stanley liked better than drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, and hunting. At least twice a week, Stanley went out in the woods with his hunting buddies Cletus and Jimmy. They never shot much, but they always had a few cases handy and always had a good time. They were practically in...

my aunt ruth died in a horrible explosion

they couldn't even find any body parts to put in the casket

the funeral was ruthless.

Why the next James Bond should be a woman

The next Bond should be a woman!

Can you imagine? Crazy car scenes with spectacular crashes, explosions...

... And all of that while she's parking.

Did you hear about the explosion at the workshop where they make perfume?

It blew up the olfactory

I went to a cheese factory the other day, but there was a massive explosion.

There was de *brie* everywhere.



Sorry, too *cheesy*?

Did you hear that Napoleon died in an explosion?

He was Blown-apart

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory in France?

De-brie was everywhere.

Following the incident the owner of the factory, monseuir francois was asked his thoughts in an interview.

He merely said

"ehh-Damn!"

What do you call the concentric clouds around a nuclear explosion?

Freedom rings.

My dad said there'd been an explosion at the potassium factory.

K boomer.

Long story about a story

There was a newsman Ida Gross, who worked at the New York times last century who always snuck in a pun into his reports. His editor was always on a look out for the pun, which he always excised before sending the story on to be printed.


One day, there was a gas explosion that killed ten...

A friend of mine lost a hand and a leg in an explosion, remaining with only his right ones.

When I asked him about it he said he was feeling left out.

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What did redditor say after seeing an explosion?

edit: Holy shit that blew up

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By tightly securing our Nuclear Arsenal through human, digital, mechanical and chemical means, we've been able to almost completely eliminate the risk of nuclear warhead explosions due to accidents or hostile attacks, however if these past four years have taught us something ...

... it's that we also need to equip our nukes with child locks.

Why did Reddit have a rapid implosion/explosion this afternoon?

I heard it had something to do with supermassive bodies.

A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory

And once all the mess has been cleared up, an inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement.

"Okay Mr. Milly Terry," says the investigator, "you were near the scene, what happened ?"

"Well, it's like this. Old Hugh Cumber was in the mixing room, and I saw hi...

Did you hear about the explosion in the care home for deaf people?

Neither did they.

I was caught up in an explosion at a sauce factory

It was traumatising, but I finally mustard up the courage to talk about it

Did you hear there was a nuclear explosion in space this morning?!

Most people call it the sun.




Note: My dad pulled this on me this morning. My friend hit me when I told them.

A man is falling out of a plane.

A man is falling out of a plane, intending to go parachuting. He pulls the ripcord, and it breaks.

Okay, he thinks. That's why there's a backup. He pulls the backup ripcord, and... It breaks.

At this point, he's thoroughly worried. But then, he sees a guy flying up right at him, as tho...

The soldier guards a military hangar with rifle in hands

The soldier guards a military hangar with rifle in hands when a man walks up to him and says:


-Hey pal, can I buy your rifle?


-Of course not! There are fighter jets stored in here, what am I gonna if something happens and I dont have a gun?


-Dont worry, you could jus...

Did you hear about the explosion in a garment factory

Apparently there were over a hundred casual tees

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I'm in a band called colon explosion.

People say our music's the shit.

In honor of the 30 year anniversary of the Challenger explosion. What does NASA stand for?

Need Another Seven Astronauts

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