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Casualty Jokes

The wait to see a doctor in the UK is getting so long, many are turning to Casualty instead.

They watch the show hoping someone turns up with the same symptoms as them.

Do you know who was the greatest casualty of Covid-19?

Anti Vaxxers

I bet they are praying non stop for a cure

Why is it better to show up overdressed than underdressed?

It's not ideal to become a formality, but much worse to become a casualty.

While on vacation, the warden of a supermax prison gets a phone call from the subordinate he left in charge, who has good news and bad news.

*"The good news is one of the serial killers we had serving multiple life sentences escaped."*

"How is *that* good news??"

*"Well after breaking out he stole a car and led police on a high-speed chase that ended when he wrapped the car around a tree at 120 miles an hour. He was killed ...

What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War?

Juan down, a million more to go.

Mars rover

After an almost succesful retrieval of the Mars rover, upon re-entry, the rover overheated and exploded. Debrus landed in an urban environment. There was one casualty.

Curiosity killed the cat

An old Russian WW2 joke

This is an old Russian WW2 joke that my grandfather loved to tell.

During high-casualty battles between Germans and Russians, the Russian general gets surprised by the commander of a tiny platoon who wants to hand over hundreds of German prisoners. When investigating the prisoners closer, h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Truck driver

One a normal day of trip, truck driver realized that his brake system was busted, and he was going full speed. He knew, he had to stop the truck somehow.

So he decided to get off the road and crash into something

He looked right, there was little boy in an empty field, alone.

H...

What’s the difference between a shirt and a corpse?

One’s a casualty and the other is a casual tee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was arrested for driving over a crowd in a wedding

The case detective drew out a cigar, then began dragging.

"Why did you do that?"

"You see, detective... the matter's *much* more complicated. A guy was standing on the left side of the road, and the wedding was on my right. Since there was no other way, which would you have gone for?"<...

It was a dark time on the street.

War had come to Sesame Street. Big Bird lay bleeding with a piece of shrapnel sticking out of his side. As he lay there. Oscar the grouch came over to speak with him.
Oscar: How are you doing general bird?
Big Bird: Never mind that now commander what is the letter and number of the day?
Osc...

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