An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you te...

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

She hugged me.

Which blood type causes the most mistakes in hospital?

Type-O

The USSR believed that any mistakes in its past were the results of noble men with noble goals.

Sure, noble.

The other day my wife asked me to pass her the lipstick but I passed her glue by mistake

She still isn’t talking to me

My grammar has suffered since I became a vegetarian

I mistakes.

My manager said if I make one more mistake that I'll be fired.

So to save myself I've made several mistakes.

If we don't proofread and correct mistakes

The errorists win.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a beautiful blonde, and a comely brunette

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a beautiful blonde, and a comely brunette are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel. As the compartment is plunged into complete darkness for the Nth time a ringing slap is heard. The t...

Spelling Mistakes

I accidentally made a spelling mistake on my work. I found this out when I get screamed at for it. It is a fairly small mistake, so I don't understand why she is so upset!

Jeez, I'm a tattoo artist, not an english teacher. Calm down, we all make mistakes.

Why is Chewbacca considered a pro?

Because he doesn't make wookie mistakes.

I named my eraser Confidence

Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make

People always tell me to learn from mistakes...

Why would I ever want to listen to my children?

What do statisticians who make mistakes put on their bread?

Margarine of error.

Telling my dad to embrace his mistakes

I told my that he should embrace his mistakes, then he cried. He immidiately hugged me and my sister.

I learned from my parents mistakes.

You could say I'm self taught.

I read my part aloud in the church sermon about the crucifixion of Jesus. I was really proud of myself for not making any mistakes.

In hindsight, yelling out "NAILED IT" probably wasn't the best way to celebrate.

An engineer dies, and by some mistake he is sent to hell.

Satan was unsure of why the engineer was sent down there, but he might as well be of use. He commissioned the engineer to install AC, plumbing, various water features, and many other amenities that really started to turn hell into a pretty decent place.

God, on the other hand, took notice of ...

Women really know how to hold a grudge over the smallest things. My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.

It's been a month now and she's still not speaking to me

Have you heard the one about the electrician making a mistake

I hear it's shocking

Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea

I forgot that he only drinks realty

I made a mistake and went shopping on an empty stomach.

I am now the happy owner of aisle 7.

My dad carries around a piece of paper where he keeps a list of all his mistakes.

It is my birth certificate.

What's the best way to tell a CEO they made a mistake?

This ain't it, chief.

A man who recogizes his mistakes when wrong is wise. A man that recognizes his mistake when he is right is...

Married.

An explosives expert liked to blow up bombs beside the city's underground septic lines. One day, while planting a device, he made a fatal mistake...

The newspapers called him a sewer side bomber.

It's not my fault that I hate typing mistakes, it's in my blood

I'm type O negative.

My advice to Jussie Smollett is everyone makes mistakes...

Don’t beat yourself up over it!

Don’t you hate it when you can’t sleep because you are reminded of a mistake you made 2 years ago?

I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night

A concert pianist makes mistakes during a performance

Over and over the renowned musician kept making little blunders here and there, and critics in the audience were very aware. After the recital, one commentator said, "no disrespect, but you played everything from memory and had quite a few slip-ups. Just having a bad night?"


Looking a lit...

A man goes on vacation to Israel with his wife and his stepmother.

While in Israel, his stepmother died at the hotel.

The people there told him:

"Sir, if you want to bury her back in the United States, it's going to cost you $5,000 to bring back her corpse. But since she died at the hotel, we can do the funeral here in Israel for free.

The ma...

People with which blood group are a mistake?

TypeO

My wife's gonna leave me because of a spelling mistake.

I'm on a work trip and I just texted her "having a wonderful time, wish you were her."

If you think you have a grammar or spelling mistake, simply post it to Reddit and you’ll know within seconds if you made one or many.

Make sure you write "sorry for grammar mistakes English is not my first language"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thought I’d be nice and let the kids watch a Christmas movie. Big mistake...

because now they keep saying to each other “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker”

Embrace you mistakes

My significant other and I were discussing mistakes we have made in our relationship.


I suggested she should embrace her mistakes.


She then hugged me.

Man circumcised by mistake when surgeons confused him for another patient’

Guess this is what they mean by undesirable cutbacks in the NHS.

What is the difference between intentionally and by mistake?

The presence of a witness.

Bob Ross famously said that "we don't make mistakes, just happy accidents"...

Clearly he never played Tetris.

On my recent trip to Australia, I made the mistake of buying a boomerang with teeth.

Sure enough, it came back to bite me in the ass.

The real mistake of the half-time show was that Maroon 5 performed on a stage shaped like an M.

When they should've set it to W for Wumbo.

I did a mistake. I realized my mistake. I apologized

She did a mistake. I told her it's her mistake. I realized my mistake. I apologized.

An Honest Mistake

A truck driver is pulled over for having an unsecure load of donkeys on his trailer.

When the cop asks him why he pulled him over, he replies:

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't realize it was illegal to haul ass."

Wy do vampire's keep making the same mistake?

They lack self - reflection

What does a gamer say when they alt-tab by mistake?

wwwwwwwwwwwwwww

After visiting the US, a Tibetan monk made the mistake of meditating on his flight home.

He transcended to another plane and ended up in Albuquerque.

I couldn't live with my mistakes anymore...

So I became a bomb disposal technician

Autocorrect sucks! Look what I've sent to somebody in the office by mistake...

- "Next Tuesday I'll lick you, suck you and bite you all night!"

- Hahahaha, what did you want to say?

- Thursday

A grave mistake....

I was walking home last night and decided to take a short cut through the local cemetery. 3 girls walked up to me and explained that they were scared to walk past the cemetery at night, so I agreed to let then walk along with me. I told them "I understand - I used to get freaked out too when I was a...

What do you say when you realize you’ve made a basic mistake?

OH

My dad always told me he never made the same mistake twice

Must be why I'm an only child

I never make mistakes...

I thought I did once; but I was wrong.

I can't undue my mistakes...

All I can do is more mistakes, and hope the original one gets diluted

Morgue employee was cremated by mistake while taking a nap

Two people got fired that day

I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes...

My personal spell Czech.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I yelled at a friend because in her email she used 'peak' instead of 'peak', 'hear' instead of 'here' and other, similar mistakes.

I engaged in an ad homonym attack.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One baaaaaaad mistake

One day an 85-year-old man is taking a stroll around his hometown, which he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing....

"I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on that. But people won't call...

They say you don't really notice your own mistakes

Maybe that's why my parents ignore me

I did a mistake on an elevator...

I was wrong on many levels.

How many people does it take to make a mistake?

In your case, two.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People whom correct grammar mistakes are called grammar nazis.

It’s because there anti semantic.

The Indian restaurant made a mistake with my order but I wasn’t worried about it

It was a naan issue

I told my friend people keep accidentally asking me to buy meat for them.

He asked: "By mistake?"

I said: "Oh come on, not you too!"

I just sent a nude photo to everyone in my address book. I sure won't make that mistake again!

It cost a fortune in stamps!

I try to teach my mom something new everyday.

Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes.

A teacher goes for a long walk on the beach. She finds a shiny magic lamb, picks it up, and rubs it.

There is a puff of blue smoke and a genie pops out. “You have three wishes. I can give you anything in the world. If I fail, I must become your personal genie for eternity.”

The teacher thinks for a moment and says, “For my first wish, I want jewels. Silver, gold, platinum, whatever you have....

I made one little mistake 8 years ago and my wife still won't let it go.

She always forces me to go back to the park and pick him up.

As a young man I was told if I wanted to improve myself I should learn to embrace my mistakes.

Which is why I hug my children every day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Easy mistake!! Haha !

Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's hold...

I do agree that its healthy to laugh at your own mistakes...

But if you are a plastic surgeon you should probably do it in private.

"You always try and trick me with your privileged right to be first every time, then, you try and manipulate me into making dumb mistakes. You look down on me, don't you? Is it because I'm black!?"

I sighed and said, "Look, you can be white if you want darling, it's only a game of chess!"

I hate spelling mistakes.

Mix up two letters and your entire post is urined.

I made a lot of stupid mistakes as a kid.

Now that I'm an adult, I'm making far more advanced and complex mistakes.

Super bowl mistake

My good friend has 2 tickets for the 2018 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,000 for both tickets, but he didn't realize when he bought them, it was going to be the same day of his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. It's at @ 3pm at the Renaissance . Her...

I don't make mistakes twice

I repeat them five or six times just to make sure.

So many reddit users make this ONE mistake:

They always fall for clickbait

A Disney princess was arrested by mistake

They thought it was someone Elsa.

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