I made a mistake at the grocery store.

I went to get 6 Sprites. Accidentally picked 7up

Sure, we can do something about climate change now, but if we find out in 50 years that the researchers made a mistake and that climate change doesn't exist...

We would have improved air quality in all major cities, gotten rid of noisy and smelly cars, cleaned up toxic rivers and destroyed dictatorships funded on money from oil for no reason.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Yesterday I made the mistake of telling my wife to shave her pussy

The next morning I woke up bald

My husband told me to embrace my mistakes

So I hugged him :)

What does a French baker say when they made a mistake?

Oh crepe

Some mistakes can grow to be big problems

That's how my parents feel about me

The CIA has suddenly realized they've been making a horrible mistake

They've been using black sharpie instead of yellow highlighter for years

My dad bought an eraser that advertises as “erases big mistakes”

I’m sweating right now

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The hypnotists mistake.

I felt sorry for the hypnotist last night. He dropped the microphone on his foot and yelled "FUCK ME". What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life.

It sucks when people make one mistake and get fired.

A very sad day today. After SEVEN years of training in the medical field and hard work, a very good friend of mine was fired after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his clients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice gu...

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you te...

Bob Ross said "We don't make mistakes. We just have happy accidents."

So, either he lied and my parents made a mistake or I'm an accident.

I named my eraser Confidence

Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make

How to pay for your mistakes?

Buy eraser

Which blood type causes the most mistakes in hospital?

Type-O

Spelling Mistakes

I accidentally made a spelling mistake on my work. I found this out when I get screamed at for it. It is a fairly small mistake, so I don't understand why she is so upset!

Jeez, I'm a tattoo artist, not an english teacher. Calm down, we all make mistakes.

The USSR believed that any mistakes in its past were the results of noble men with noble goals.

Sure, noble.

Why is Chewbacca considered a pro?

Because he doesn't make wookie mistakes.

My old Band Director always told me to learn from mistakes...

And that’s why he was a great teacher.

The other day my wife asked me to pass her the lipstick but I passed her glue by mistake

She still isn’t talking to me

I say this next election we learn from our mistakes in the past and try to move forward to a brighter tomorrow. This election vote...

Hindsight 2020

My grammar has suffered since I became a vegetarian

I mistakes.

If we don't proofread and correct mistakes

The errorists win.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a beautiful blonde, and a comely brunette

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a beautiful blonde, and a comely brunette are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel. As the compartment is plunged into complete darkness for the Nth time a ringing slap is heard. The t...

Have you heard the one about the electrician making a mistake

I hear it's shocking

People always tell me to learn from mistakes...

Why would I ever want to listen to my children?

Telling my dad to embrace his mistakes

I told my that he should embrace his mistakes, then he cried. He immidiately hugged me and my sister.

My manager said if I make one more mistake that I'll be fired.

So to save myself I've made several mistakes.

What do statisticians who make mistakes put on their bread?

Margarine of error.

What do you call a blender that made a mistake?

Blunder

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When I make mistakes my parents would always asked me, why do we make mistakes? To learn from them

Well the other day, I got drunk, really drunk, and for some reason I made sure everyone in town knew about it. I drove around exclamating curse words and screaming at people from things as simple as walking their dogs. Eventually I even tried to go back to the bar but I was so drunk they didn't let ...

An engineer dies, and by some mistake he is sent to hell.

Satan was unsure of why the engineer was sent down there, but he might as well be of use. He commissioned the engineer to install AC, plumbing, various water features, and many other amenities that really started to turn hell into a pretty decent place.

God, on the other hand, took notice of ...

I learned from my parents mistakes.

You could say I'm self taught.

I read my part aloud in the church sermon about the crucifixion of Jesus. I was really proud of myself for not making any mistakes.

In hindsight, yelling out "NAILED IT" probably wasn't the best way to celebrate.

Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea

I forgot that he only drinks realty

Women really know how to hold a grudge over the smallest things. My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.

It's been a month now and she's still not speaking to me

My dad carries around a piece of paper where he keeps a list of all his mistakes.

It is my birth certificate.

It's not my fault that I hate typing mistakes, it's in my blood

I'm type O negative.

A man who recogizes his mistakes when wrong is wise. A man that recognizes his mistake when he is right is...

Married.

Don’t you hate it when you can’t sleep because you are reminded of a mistake you made 2 years ago?

I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night

A man goes on vacation to Israel with his wife and his stepmother.

While in Israel, his stepmother died at the hotel.

The people there told him:

"Sir, if you want to bury her back in the United States, it's going to cost you $5,000 to bring back her corpse. But since she died at the hotel, we can do the funeral here in Israel for free.

The ma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thought I’d be nice and let the kids watch a Christmas movie. Big mistake...

because now they keep saying to each other “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker”

An explosives expert liked to blow up bombs beside the city's underground septic lines. One day, while planting a device, he made a fatal mistake...

The newspapers called him a sewer side bomber.

My advice to Jussie Smollett is everyone makes mistakes...

Don’t beat yourself up over it!

My wife's gonna leave me because of a spelling mistake.

I'm on a work trip and I just texted her "having a wonderful time, wish you were her."

People with which blood group are a mistake?

TypeO

If you think you have a grammar or spelling mistake, simply post it to Reddit and you’ll know within seconds if you made one or many.

Make sure you write "sorry for grammar mistakes English is not my first language"

Embrace you mistakes

My significant other and I were discussing mistakes we have made in our relationship.


I suggested she should embrace her mistakes.


She then hugged me.

What is the difference between intentionally and by mistake?

The presence of a witness.

Man circumcised by mistake when surgeons confused him for another patient’

Guess this is what they mean by undesirable cutbacks in the NHS.

The real mistake of the half-time show was that Maroon 5 performed on a stage shaped like an M.

When they should've set it to W for Wumbo.

A concert pianist makes mistakes during a performance

Over and over the renowned musician kept making little blunders here and there, and critics in the audience were very aware. After the recital, one commentator said, "no disrespect, but you played everything from memory and had quite a few slip-ups. Just having a bad night?"


Looking a lit...

On my recent trip to Australia, I made the mistake of buying a boomerang with teeth.

Sure enough, it came back to bite me in the ass.

My dad always told me he never made the same mistake twice

Must be why I'm an only child

What does a gamer say when they alt-tab by mistake?

wwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Wy do vampire's keep making the same mistake?

They lack self - reflection

An Honest Mistake

A truck driver is pulled over for having an unsecure load of donkeys on his trailer.

When the cop asks him why he pulled him over, he replies:

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't realize it was illegal to haul ass."

After visiting the US, a Tibetan monk made the mistake of meditating on his flight home.

He transcended to another plane and ended up in Albuquerque.

I couldn't live with my mistakes anymore...

So I became a bomb disposal technician

I did a mistake. I realized my mistake. I apologized

She did a mistake. I told her it's her mistake. I realized my mistake. I apologized.

A grave mistake....

I was walking home last night and decided to take a short cut through the local cemetery. 3 girls walked up to me and explained that they were scared to walk past the cemetery at night, so I agreed to let then walk along with me. I told them "I understand - I used to get freaked out too when I was a...

Autocorrect sucks! Look what I've sent to somebody in the office by mistake...

- "Next Tuesday I'll lick you, suck you and bite you all night!"

- Hahahaha, what did you want to say?

- Thursday

I never make mistakes...

I thought I did once; but I was wrong.

They say you don't really notice your own mistakes

Maybe that's why my parents ignore me

I made the rookie mistake of going shopping while hungry...

I’m now the happy owner of aisle 7

I can't undue my mistakes...

All I can do is more mistakes, and hope the original one gets diluted

I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes...

My personal spell Czech.

Morgue employee was cremated by mistake while taking a nap

Two people got fired that day

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People whom correct grammar mistakes are called grammar nazis.

It’s because there anti semantic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I yelled at a friend because in her email she used 'peak' instead of 'peak', 'hear' instead of 'here' and other, similar mistakes.

I engaged in an ad homonym attack.

How many people does it take to make a mistake?

In your case, two.

I did a mistake on an elevator...

I was wrong on many levels.

I told my friend people keep accidentally asking me to buy meat for them.

He asked: "By mistake?"

I said: "Oh come on, not you too!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One baaaaaaad mistake

One day an 85-year-old man is taking a stroll around his hometown, which he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing....

"I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on that. But people won't call...

The Indian restaurant made a mistake with my order but I wasn’t worried about it

It was a naan issue

I try to teach my mom something new everyday.

Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes.

I just sent a nude photo to everyone in my address book. I sure won't make that mistake again!

It cost a fortune in stamps!

As a young man I was told if I wanted to improve myself I should learn to embrace my mistakes.

Which is why I hug my children every day.

I hate spelling mistakes.

Mix up two letters and your entire post is urined.

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