An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,

'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely sil...

I named my eraser Confidence

Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make

The other day my wife asked me to pass her the lipstick but I passed her glue by mistake

She still isn’t talking to me

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a beautiful blonde, and a comely brunette

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a beautiful blonde, and a comely brunette are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel. As the compartment is plunged into complete darkness for the Nth time a ringing slap is heard. The t...

I read my part aloud in the church sermon about the crucifixion of Jesus. I was really proud of myself for not making any mistakes.

In hindsight, yelling out "NAILED IT" probably wasn't the best way to celebrate.

What's the best way to tell a CEO they made a mistake?

This ain't it, chief.

An engineer dies, and by some mistake he is sent to hell.

Satan was unsure of why the engineer was sent down there, but he might as well be of use. He commissioned the engineer to install AC, plumbing, various water features, and many other amenities that really started to turn hell into a pretty decent place.

God, on the other hand, took notice of ...

It's okay to make mistakes

Because mistakes are huamn

Women really know how to hold a grudge over the smallest things. My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.

It's been a month now and she's still not speaking to me

My dad carries around a piece of paper where he keeps a list of all his mistakes.

It is my birth certificate.

Telling my dad to embrace his mistakes

I told my that he should embrace his mistakes, then he cried. He immidiately hugged me and my sister.

Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea

I forgot that he only drinks realty

A man who recogizes his mistakes when wrong is wise. A man that recognizes his mistake when he is right is...

Married.

A concert pianist makes mistakes during a performance

Over and over the renowned musician kept making little blunders here and there, and critics in the audience were very aware. After the recital, one commentator said, "no disrespect, but you played everything from memory and had quite a few slip-ups. Just having a bad night?"


Looking a lit...

People with which blood group are a mistake?

TypeO

My advice to Jussie Smollett is everyone makes mistakes...

Don’t beat yourself up over it!

Man circumcised by mistake when surgeons confused him for another patient’

Guess this is what they mean by undesirable cutbacks in the NHS.

Embrace you mistakes

My significant other and I were discussing mistakes we have made in our relationship.


I suggested she should embrace her mistakes.


She then hugged me.

If you think you have a grammar or spelling mistake, simply post it to Reddit and you’ll know within seconds if you made one or many.

Make sure you write "sorry for grammar mistakes English is not my first language"

An explosives expert liked to blow up bombs beside the city's underground septic lines. One day, while planting a device, he made a fatal mistake...

The newspapers called him a sewer side bomber.

What is the difference between intentionally and by mistake?

The presence of a witness.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Thought I’d be nice and let the kids watch a Christmas movie. Big mistake...

because now they keep saying to each other “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker”

On my recent trip to Australia, I made the mistake of buying a boomerang with teeth.

Sure enough, it came back to bite me in the ass.

My wife's gonna leave me because of a spelling mistake.

I'm on a work trip and I just texted her "having a wonderful time, wish you were her."

The real mistake of the half-time show was that Maroon 5 performed on a stage shaped like an M.

When they should've set it to W for Wumbo.

I always learn from the mistake of others

Who take my advice.

A man goes on vacation to Israel with his wife and his stepmother.

While in Israel, his stepmother died at the hotel.

The people there told him:

"Sir, if you want to bury her back in the United States, it's going to cost you $5,000 to bring back her corpse. But since she died at the hotel, we can do the funeral here in Israel for free.

The ma...

Bob Ross famously said that "we don't make mistakes, just happy accidents"...

Clearly he never played Tetris.

Don’t you hate it when you can’t sleep because you are reminded of a mistake you made 2 years ago?

I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night

An Honest Mistake

A truck driver is pulled over for having an unsecure load of donkeys on his trailer.

When the cop asks him why he pulled him over, he replies:

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't realize it was illegal to haul ass."

Wy do vampire's keep making the same mistake?

They lack self - reflection

What does a gamer say when they alt-tab by mistake?

wwwwwwwwwwwwwww

I made the rookie mistake of going shopping while hungry...

I’m now the happy owner of aisle 7

I couldn't live with my mistakes anymore...

So I became a bomb disposal technician

They say you don't really notice your own mistakes

Maybe that's why my parents ignore me

I did a mistake. I realized my mistake. I apologized

She did a mistake. I told her it's her mistake. I realized my mistake. I apologized.

Autocorrect sucks! Look what I've sent to somebody in the office by mistake...

- "Next Tuesday I'll lick you, suck you and bite you all night!"

- Hahahaha, what did you want to say?

- Thursday

After visiting the US, a Tibetan monk made the mistake of meditating on his flight home.

He transcended to another plane and ended up in Albuquerque.

A grave mistake....

I was walking home last night and decided to take a short cut through the local cemetery. 3 girls walked up to me and explained that they were scared to walk past the cemetery at night, so I agreed to let then walk along with me. I told them "I understand - I used to get freaked out too when I was a...

What do you say when you realize you’ve made a basic mistake?

OH

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A migrant caravan travels to Venezuela by mistake

A migrant caravan travels to Venezuela by mistake.

The Bolivar is inflating at 80,000%, people are butchering zoo animals for food, the oil refineries are falling apart, the roads are covered in trash.

The migrant leader asks one of the guards, "What happened here?"

The guard fr...

I never make mistakes...

I thought I did once; but I was wrong.

I can't undue my mistakes...

All I can do is more mistakes, and hope the original one gets diluted

My dad always told me he never made the same mistake twice

Must be why I'm an only child

Morgue employee was cremated by mistake while taking a nap

Two people got fired that day

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I yelled at a friend because in her email she used 'peak' instead of 'peak', 'hear' instead of 'here' and other, similar mistakes.

I engaged in an ad homonym attack.

I did a mistake on an elevator...

I was wrong on many levels.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

One baaaaaaad mistake

One day an 85-year-old man is taking a stroll around his hometown, which he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing....

"I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on that. But people won't call...

The Indian restaurant made a mistake with my order but I wasn’t worried about it

It was a naan issue

How many people does it take to make a mistake?

In your case, two.

I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes...

My personal spell Czech.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

People whom correct grammar mistakes are called grammar nazis.

It’s because there anti semantic.

I told my friend people keep accidentally asking me to buy meat for them.

He asked: "By mistake?"

I said: "Oh come on, not you too!"

A mailman notices a mailbox with the flag up

So, he opens the box and picks up the letter. He glances at it briefly to make sure it is stamped, and then puts it in his bag with his other letters. When he gets back to his office, the letter goes in a big bin with all of the other out-going mail. He thinks nothing of it, and finishes his day....

As a young man I was told if I wanted to improve myself I should learn to embrace my mistakes.

Which is why I hug my children every day.

I hate spelling mistakes.

Mix up two letters and your entire post is urined.

iTunes must’ve made a mistake

It doesn’t have you listed as the hottest single.

"You always try and trick me with your privileged right to be first every time, then, you try and manipulate me into making dumb mistakes. You look down on me, don't you? Is it because I'm black!?"

I sighed and said, "Look, you can be white if you want darling, it's only a game of chess!"

I just sent a nude photo to everyone in my address book. I sure won't make that mistake again!

It cost a fortune in stamps!

I do agree that its healthy to laugh at your own mistakes...

But if you are a plastic surgeon you should probably do it in private.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Easy mistake!! Haha !

Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's hold...

I try to teach my mom something new everyday.

Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes.

Engineer in Hell

An engineer dies and goes to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Sa...

I made one little mistake 8 years ago and my wife still won't let it go.

She always forces me to go back to the park and pick him up.

I made a lot of stupid mistakes as a kid.

Now that I'm an adult, I'm making far more advanced and complex mistakes.

I don't make mistakes twice

I repeat them five or six times just to make sure.

Super bowl mistake

My good friend has 2 tickets for the 2018 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,000 for both tickets, but he didn't realize when he bought them, it was going to be the same day of his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. It's at @ 3pm at the Renaissance . Her...

I had myself tested for AIDS, but made a terrible mistake

I crammed the night before

A Disney princess was arrested by mistake

They thought it was someone Elsa.

Why don't dolphins make mistakes?

They do everything on porpoise.

I thought of this myself, but I'm probably late to the punch.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A good friend of mine, after 7 yrs of medical school and training, has been fired for one minor mistake.

He fucked one of his patients... And now he can no longer work in his profession. Such a waste of time, effort, training and money! Sadly he is still paying on his school loans. This just goes to show one minor mishap can ruin your life. Thoughts for him and his family right now in this time of sadn...

In the famous words of Bob Ross: There’s no such thing as mistakes, only happy little accidents...

Unless your “little accident” is diagnosed with chronic depression.

So many reddit users make this ONE mistake:

They always fall for clickbait

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Big mistake

As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost. I finally arrived an...

A good zinger that my friend carpenter used on a doctor

So this Dr hired my friend (who's a carpenter) to do some work around the house, the doc was curiously looking over my friends shoulder as he was putting a piece of molding to cover his uneven cut. The doc said with a cavalier attitude "that's an easy way to hide your mistakes!" and without thinking...

A MATH PROFESSOR'S MISTAKE

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband that says My dear now that you are 60 years old there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up f...

A hunter went out on a hunting trip. He took his sons cigarettes by mistake.

He had an excellent day. He shot 2 bucks, a boar, a black bear, and a unicorn.

I slept through a burglary once and it was a fatal mistake.

Next thing I knew I was being thrown in a police van.

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