I hate spelling errors...

You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

I get so angry with all the spelling errors on Reddit

I feel like people are defiantly doing it on purpose just to mess with me

First grade teacher: John, how did you manage to stop having spelling errors in your homework this week?

John: My mom is out of town.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

ID10T Error

Tech Support: Good Morning, Harry speaking how can I help?

Caller: Hi, my machine won't power on!

Tech Support: Ok, have you tried pressing the power button

Caller: Yes, done that still not working

Tech Support: Okay can you check the cables at the back of the machine?...

How do Scottish people describe a no display error?

nvidia

If you’re genetically predisposed to spelling and grammar errors, does that mean you’re…

…typo positive?

Contrary to belief, Wikipedia actually has less factual errors than traditional printed encyclopaedias.

Source: Wikipedia

A common chefs error

Is to think they must always add salt to a sauce before boiling it down. This is the fallacy of reductive seasoning.

Monk error

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.

So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error i...

I'd tell you a joke.about the fear of navigational errors

But I'm afraid it'd be lost on you.

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I had a problem with my computer yesterday...

So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong ?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
...

When I turned 40 years old I started delivering babies but kept making errors

I was having a midwife crisis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Typographical Error Man say to his girlfriend when he wanted to do it?

you wanna d u c k


(lmao this is my first made joke so sorry for the shitty-ness).

Men should thank God for His grammatical errors when creating us

He forgot a period.



(Edit: Woo original content!)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The missing letter

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church, by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to q...

I was playing grand theft auto 5 when all of a sudden it crashes and an error message pops up

It read “unfortunately the game is corrupted and the data will be deleted” feeling sad and annoying with my 100s of hours lost I looked up online as to why it happened. I found a guide that said if you restart the game on the same console and go to the nearest garage and talk to the guy who’s workin...

Every program I write is completely error-free

No exceptions!

What do you call it when the blood bank makes a spelling error

A type-o

*Creating password*

"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"

ERROR: [Password two week]


^Edited ^for ^better ^understanding

There is a man, he is dying in his bed in his home.

He smells something amazing. It's the smell of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. And with his last strength, he gets out of bed, and he goes to the kitchen, where his wife of 50 years, is cooking these beautiful chocolate chip cookies. And they are on a plate of four of them, just out of the oven...

There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science

0: Naming things
1: Cache invalidation
2: Off by one errors

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A programmer is working on a convenience store cash register...

A programmer is working on the software for a cash register computer at a convenience store. He finally thinks he got it done and tests a few items. Scans a gallon of milk:

> $2.50

Perfect. How about this bag of beef jerky?

> $4.99

Excellent. 20 oz soda?

>...

"Hey Steve, how do I get rid of this error message on my computer? It's telling me to stop procrastinating."

"Easy. Just hit 'Remind Me Later'."

A C++ error walks into a bar...

A C++ error walks into a bar. The bartender looks up at it and says "I'm sorry, but we don't serve bugs here". The error replies "But I'm an EXCEPTION!"

Haaaaaaaaaa!

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

A new study has found that Donald Trump supporters make the most grammatical errors.

They tried to find Hillary supporters errors as well, but they got deleted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man and wife were making up a password for their new laptop

Man: "Hmm... I think it should be MYPENIS."

Wife types that in and stats laughing.

Man: "Why are you laughing?"

Wife turns the screen to him.

Man reads: "ERROR! NOT LONG ENOUGH"

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandmother hates it when I make spelling errors

One might say she's a grandma nazi.

What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators?

He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

My favourite joke: Now Hiring

A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. The poster reads:

"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."



The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and deci...

A physicist, an engineer and a statistician are on a hunting trip...

... they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left.

The engineer rolls his eyes. 'You forgot to account for wind....

I just got an AMBER alert that won't open...

It says: error 404 child not found

Adam knew he studied hard for his test, but couldn’t figure out where he went wrong.

He had spent almost 2 weeks preparing for this test. If he didn’t get 100%, he would fail chemistry and have to take summer school.

Knowing this, he panicked and furiously scanned the test to find out where he went wrong. Finally he saw the final question marked with an X. “Draw an atom”.
...

I once made an error in little league,

When I signed up to play.

A monk joins an abbey ready to dedicate his life to copying ancient books by hand...

After the first day though, he reports to the head priest. He's concerned that all the monks have been copying copies made from still more copies.

"If someone made a mistake," he points out. "It would be impossible to detect. Even worse, the error would continue to be made."

A bit star...

The other day, after much trial and error, I successfully became completely weightless...

I was like, 0mg!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've not posted to r/advice before & I'm on mobile so please forgive any spelling errors, I'm on a small screen. My neighbour has a large, untrained dog, he is tied up in the yard most days, but has broken the chain several times now and when that happens he chases my cat and shits all over my lawn.

I wouldn't mind so much, but now the dog has started to do it too.

My waiter once brought me the wrong order

I guess that was a server error

I’ve tried to search something on google for years

It keeps saying “Error. No matches”

Then I realised I wasn’t on google

I was on Tinder

Library Inventory

A librarian in a small book collection is just finishing up the process of cataloging his physical inventory and is combing through the stacks to double-check his work. Suddenly, he sees a bit of crinkled cover just peeking out behind a shelf in the very back of the building. Confused, he steps quie...

Spelling Errors?

I don't do that typo thing.

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