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Error Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Error

Young Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Prem, the computer guy, over to her desk. Prem clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

And he replied, "...

I hate spelling errors

You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined

2020 Divided by 5 is 404, So the Whole Year is an Error.

And now we have a virus.

Because of a spelling error, beer will no longer be served in Hell.



When they redid the sign over the gates they made it say "Abandon all hops, ye who enter here."

What do you call a computer error that's madly in love?

A 502 Down Bad Gateway

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Please ignore the English errors. It's my fourth language.

Genie: I see you're short. Would you like to increase your height?

Me: Yes, please! I would give anything to increase my height.

Genie: Alright then, for every inch I increase your height, I'll reduce an inch of your penis. So, by how much do you want to increase your height?

Me...

Errors are red, the screen is in blue

I think you just deleted system32

A C++ error walks into a bar...

A C++ error walks into a bar. The bartender looks up at it and says "I'm sorry, but we don't serve bugs here". The error replies "But I'm an EXCEPTION!"

Haaaaaaaaaa!

I went online to order Oreos and the website errored

My VPN was rejecting cookies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a problem with my computer yesterday...

So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong ?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
...

There are 11 types of errors when programming directly in binary...

Syntax errors,

Memory management errors,

Math errors, and

Off-by-one errors.

.
.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man was contacted by the IRS for some suspicious income... [Quick repost due to spelling error in original]

The old man arrives to his appointment with the IRS representative with his lawyer.

The rep asks how he accumulated so much money without working a job or owning investments.

The old man responds: "I make all my money placing bets"

Rep: "What kind of bets do you make?"

Ol...

A Gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and paperwork and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skilful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynaecologist ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new monk arrives at the monastery

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned the task of helping the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.

So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there wa...

Contrary to belief, Wikipedia actually has less factual errors than traditional printed encyclopaedias.

Source: Wikipedia

AI-Generated Joke: "What Kind of Error is a Clothes?"

"A Dress Up."




(It gives an explanation for the Joke. So apparently it's a Joke because...

mess and dress rhyme.

mess-up is a kind of error.

dress and clothes mean roughly the same.

)

Error 4:04

Sleep not found

*Creating password*

"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"

ERROR: [Password two week]


^Edited ^for ^better ^understanding

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

ID10T Error

Tech Support: Good Morning, Harry speaking how can I help?

Caller: Hi, my machine won't power on!

Tech Support: Ok, have you tried pressing the power button

Caller: Yes, done that still not working

Tech Support: Okay can you check the cables at the back of the machine?...

When journalists quote you, they have a subtle but unmistakable way to call out your grammatical errors.

It's a [sic] burn.

A guy makes spelling errors so often it's in his blood.

He's typo.

Error 404 and 403 went to vote...

404 voted for Trump, 403 for-bidden.

American discovery mapping error (with the right to offend)

The Spanish Cartography Society summoned their voyaging artist, Amerigo Vespucci, to explain what his purported maps of India depicted instead of the standard, approved reality.

AV famously stated, "Um.. err.. I ca.."

A common chefs error

Is to think they must always add salt to a sauce before boiling it down. This is the fallacy of reductive seasoning.

Two people go into an empty bus...

three go out.

The biologist says: "They reproduced"

The physicist says: "There was a measuring error"

The mathematician says: "Now one has to go in so there\`s noone in the bus"

Men should thank God for His grammatical errors when creating us

He forgot a period.



(Edit: Woo original content!)

Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car

The operator asks for his location.

Jack says “I’m outside 28 Eucalyptus Road”.

The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"

There’s shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. “Jack?” says the operator, conc...

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Ethiopian all sit in the hospital lobby as their wives are giving birth.

After a while the doctor comes out, invites them into the nursery where 3 babies lie in cribs and says: "Congratulation! You all just became fathers! But there is one problem. Due to a nurse's error the babies got mixed up and we don't really know which one who's."

The Englishman suddenly gra...

What do you call someone who makes a spelling error AFTER editing their comment?...

An Ediot!

I get so angry with all the spelling errors on Reddit

I feel like people are defiantly doing it on purpose just to mess with me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Monks

.
A young monk arrives at the monastery.He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript so the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to question thi...

How do Scottish people describe a no display error?

nvidia

Enter password: ‘snowflake’

Confirm password: ‘snowflake’

Error, your passwords are not alike

My favourite joke: Now Hiring

A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. The poster reads:

"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."



The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and deci...

What is Error 619?

When your kid sleeps in between.

Why do you get an error when you look for today's date?

Because your internet connection sucks.

A man who lost his hat decided the easiest way to replace it was to steal it.

So he goes to the local church in search of a hat. A sermon about the ten commandments was going on as he made his way to the cloakroom. He stopped, thought for a moment, and changed his mind.

Upon seeing the pastor, the man walks up to him and says, "Father, I must say, your sermon saved me ...

There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Oh and weird concurrency bugs.

Oh and weird concurrency bugs.

If you’re genetically predisposed to spelling and grammar errors, does that mean you’re…

…typo positive?

I was playing grand theft auto 5 when all of a sudden it crashes and an error message pops up

It read “unfortunately the game is corrupted and the data will be deleted” feeling sad and annoying with my 100s of hours lost I looked up online as to why it happened. I found a guide that said if you restart the game on the same console and go to the nearest garage and talk to the guy who’s workin...

I once made an error in little league,

When I signed up to play.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill Clinton and the Pope die on the same day, and due to some administrative foul up, Clinton gets sent to heaven and the Pope gets sent to hell.

The Pope explains the situation to the hell administration, they check their paperwork, and the error is acknowledged. They explain, however, that it will take about 24 hours to make the switch.

The next day, the Pope is called in and the hell administration bids him farewell and he heads for...

What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators?

He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

John and his girlfriend Mary decide to become bank-robbers.

Mary does the actual robbing at gunpoint inside the banks while John waits outside as the getaway driver. They are initially successful with a string of heists that make headlines and they become folk-heroes. Until one day their luck runs out and they get caught.

At trial, the judge condemns ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady who is cheating on her husband

There's a lady who is cheating on her husband. One day while they are having sex she hears her husband pull into the driveway. Her boyfriend says "oh no! What should we do?!" She says "hurry! Get dressed and go to the living room!" Once they're in the living room she starts sprinkling baby powder al...

The art of joke writing

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The owner of a sex shop, hires a new clerk.

After the owner taught him the basics of running the store, he has to run an errand.

'Could you run the store on your own for a couple of hours, Jeremy?' he asks.

'Sure thing boss!' Jeremy replied, 'don't you worry, I've got this.'

So the boss leaves for his errands, leaving you...

A new study has found that Donald Trump supporters make the most grammatical errors.

They tried to find Hillary supporters errors as well, but they got deleted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and a wife were trying to set up a new password for their computer.

The husband said, "Put MYPENIS."

The wife fell on the ground laughing because on screen was an error message...

"Error. Not long enough."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A programmer is working on a convenience store cash register...

A programmer is working on the software for a cash register computer at a convenience store. He finally thinks he got it done and tests a few items. Scans a gallon of milk:

> $2.50

Perfect. How about this bag of beef jerky?

> $4.99

Excellent. 20 oz soda?

>...

The other day, after much trial and error, I successfully became completely weightless...

I was like, 0mg!

First grade teacher: John, how did you manage to stop having spelling errors in your homework this week?

John: My mom is out of town.

A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist all stand in front of an empty house.

Suddenly, two people enter the house and after a couple of minutes, three people leave through the front door.

The biologist says - “They must’ve reproduced!”

The physicist says - “This must be a measurement error!”

The mathematician says - “If one more person enters, the house...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having sex in a bunch of python compilation errors

It's fucking *indents*

After 8 months of trial and error, hundreds of hours of YouTube, losing money, almost giving up, I can finally say I made my first $100 trading stocks

Never mind, I'm in the red again.

A man is stuck in a traffic jam

A man is struck in a traffic jam

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. 

The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?" 

"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire politicians, and they are asking for a 1 million crore rupees ransom. 

Otherwise, they are gong to...

The flight wasn't carrying enough meals for all passengers.

Airborne less than 30 minutes on an outbound evening flight, the "A" stew-lead flight attendant-for the cabin crew nervously made the following painful announcement:

Ladies and gentleman, I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible last minute error by our airport catering...

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!

So he turns on his lights
and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five
old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the
back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him,
"Officer, I don't understand, I was ...

A rookie cop is being trained by his sergeant

Unfortunately it's a pretty slow day. Finally the sergeant says "Okay, here's a hint. Pick a car and just follow him around. Before long he's bound to make a mistake, and you can pull him over for that." So the sergeant selects a car, and starts following it.

Unfortunately, it doesn't wor...

A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician...

A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician are all eating on the patio of a restaurant. Across the street, they see two people walk into a building, and a few moments later three people walk out.

The biologist says, "Oh, they must have reproduced."

The physicist remarks, "There m...

My buddy just saw the Chernobyl documentary. As someone that grew up there he said it was really inaccurate.

He was able to count 6 errors on one hand.

A nun is shopping for groceries. She is pushing a stroller with a baby that is crying loudly.

As she passes by the church, a priest spots her and asks sternly: “What do we have here? A little monastery secret?”

“No, Father”, answers the nun, “it’s a cardinal error.”

Well away from the muffins...

My aunt Sara is someone who has an excellent sense of humor. In a nutshell, my aunt is a lady in her sixties who uses the fact that she loves cakes and is overweight... to make fun of herself. One of the most delightful conversations i had with her was when i met her at the bus stop one day and she ...

Why is it impossible for a flat Earther calculate the volume of the Earth?

Because there is always a rounding error.

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are observing a building...

A very heavy-set man is seen going in.

A while later two very skinny men exit.

The physicist says "To within experimental error, the conservation of mass has been demonstrated."

The biologist says "reproduction by mitosis must have taken place."

The mathematician scratche...

Tried to change my password to Twilight...

...but got an error message saying please re-enter as this contains too many useless characters :(

One for the software devs

There are two eternal problems in traditional software engineering:

1. Garbage collection
2. Naming things
3. Off-by-one errors

A man marches to H.R. to complain that his paycheque is $50 short.

He arrives in the H.R. office and slams his paycheque on the desk.

"This is an outrage!"

The rep apologizes for the error, then begins to investigate the issue on her computer. Suddenly, she's smirking.

"Oh, I see. You're coming here to complain that we underpaid you by $50 thi...

Four rabbis are having a debate

Four rabbis are debating scripture out in the garden, and one of them notices he's continuously outvoted by the other three even though he's absolutely certain he's right. At a certain point, his frustration gets the best of him and he stands up, raises his hands and and says "My Lord, you must know...

A robbery

A gypsy fortune-teller once told me:

"For 20 euros i can see your life in the palm of your hand"

I replied:

"That's a robbery! My mother goes to the hairdresser in my neighborhood, and for 10 euros she tells her everyone's life"


Note: The translation was made from ...

Bruce Willis has admitted to making an "error of judgement" after reportedly being asked to leave a Los Angeles store for refusing to wear a face mask. Apparently, he wasn't even aware of the effects of his actions until a young boy walked up to him and said...

"I see dead people."

Armchair

Because of her size, we had to order a specially reinforced armchair for the wife.
When it arrived, we discovered they had accidentally sent us a top spec model with a vibrating function, it even starts automatically as she approaches the chair to sit.

We called the company to tell them...

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