Wondering Jokes

When Johnny got home he asked his mother why he had a stick and Susie had a hole. Johnny’s mother said “oh son, you have a Ferrari, and Susie has a garage; the time will come and you’ll park your Ferrari in her garage”

When Susie got home she asked her father why she had a hole and Johnny had... read more

People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front.
As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this... read more

what the opposite of in is

I just found out this morning I’m on day 3 of an argument I didn’t know I was having.

I asked why she pronounced it with a silent "B"

Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."

"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with her?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised ... read more

So I told him, "C4 yourself"

Then it dawned on me.

My God! I know who that man is - it's Jesus!" The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.


The Irishman calls out across the lounge: "Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus"? Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am J... read more

and none of my 7 siblings could tell me

After a brutal late Autumn wind storm I noticed that my young Elm tree had finally lost all of its leaves in preparation for the cold snowy winter ahead. I smiled to my self realizing how nature helps all creatures prepare for the coming seasonal changes. But then my gaze was drawn to a red shotgu... read more

Then I looked down at my pencil and realized I didn’t really have a point.

do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school ? Or am I just a terrible Teacher ?

I think we should call it the Miracle Whip. It's got more of a tangy zip to it.

Turns out it was just jamming.

I said knock yourself out.

I asked my 12 siblings, and they didn’t know either.

I said "If we have kids, they'll be wondering what I look like."

since there are great white sharks, how come there aren't any great black sharks? Then i realized even if there were, they probably couldn't swim...

then it hit me.

They bless the rains down in Africa .






Credits to u/Josh1804

Fine night

...I bet they're dying for it.

‘Swarm

the man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.

"Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "but it didn't work out and they brought you back."

So Qui-Gon gave him this advice:

"Oh, be one."

It's a period piece.

if you get fired at the Unemployment Office, do you just switch to the other side of the desk?