Passer Jokes

“Excuse me sir, are you free to help with a survey I’m conducting?”

“Of course” says the man. “What’s it about?”

“My company is trying to survey what someone might like to hear as words of encouragement when they have indigestion. Please can you tell me what you would say to someone in... read more

Surgeon: Exactly 178,794

Passerby: Wow, how do you know that?

Surgeon: I keep a log

A: The hippopottymouth

Source: friend's kid

Much to the passers surprise he went up and asked the man if there was any takers and the man replied “take a look there is no punch line”.

He is very excited as this is his first venture since qualifying. He sells ok on everyday items like bread, but runs into trouble with his 'special items'. One day he makes beautiful cakes, however his customers only want pastries that day. So the next day he makes pastries, but now they want muffin... read more

I always wanted to tell jokes, but I had pretty severe social anxiety. So, I wrote the jokes down on pieces of paper and taped the paper to frisbees. Then I threw the frisbees at passers by so they could read my jokes.

The trouble was, most of them flew right over their heads.

Peter replies "don't worry, it's just one of his parabolas"

A little boy was keeping his dad's shop while he was away.
There were lots of candies kept in jars for sell. They were known to be so delicious that kids couldn’t resist themselves from buying candies.
One day a passer by asked him, if he was keeping the shop, to which the boy said yes. Seei... read more

A woman and her boyfriend have just left a wild party and are speeding down a country lane in a sports car. The woman wants some fun and strips off her dress so she can flash at passers-by. Unfortunately, the man gets distracted and crashes the car. The naked woman is thrown clear but her boyfriend ... read more

The rain was pouring down outside O'Connor's Irish Pub. There
standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman,
drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the
water.
A passer-by stopped and asked him, "What are you doing?
“Fishing” , replied the... read more

An old woman is shouting at a Ukrainian farmers' market: "Potatoes from Chernobyl! Potatoes from Chernobyl!"
A passer-by asks her, "Why are you telling everybody that your potatoes are from Chernobyl? No one will buy them from you."
“They do, my dear, they do. For mothers-in-law, for neighbo... read more

He became a bit of a local legend. No one knew exactly why he stole them, and we still don’t know to this day. Some say he was just in a desperate situation, some say these cows had been abused and that he was rescuing them, some say he was just a greedy old farmer.

He attempted this great bo... read more

_Tres_ passers

15, 15, 15.

A passer-by stops and asks what is this 15.

He says come with me. The passer-by follows and they reach a well.

The man says look inside. He looks inside. The man pushes him in and starts saying 16, 16, 16.

"The end is nigh!" He shouts at passers-by. And a guy shouts back at him "Nigh!!"
This puts him off a bit, but he carries on. "Be warned al you sinners, for the end is nigh!". And again the guy behind him shouts "Nigh!!" even louder.
This carries on all day until the preacher snaps at the guy... read more

He asks... “ What are you doing down there??.?”

Old man replies:” Looking for my denture... I accidentally dropped it into the toilet and flushed it down the drain....”

Passer: “Surely you don’t expect to find it?!”

Old man:” Of course I do, already found three, but none of them... read more

And he takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around.

"What on earth are you doing?!“ asks a passer-by.

The blind man replies "Nothing, just looking around a bit.“

He decided to draw my caricature and had passers by vandalise it with mucus to teach me a lesson.

It was the spitting image of me.

to get a tat of Elvis on the inside of her thigh.

Her and the artist pick out an Elvis she likes and he goes to work.

When he's finished, she looks down and flips out! "That doesn't look anything thing like Elvis"!

They argue back and forth for a bit, and he tells her he'll do o... read more

They all started setting up shops. One by one, they would close down, and the only carts that remained sold flowers.

The police and the media started to show up, amazed that the monks were able to sell flowers on the Playboy Mansion front steps. Passers by would buy a rose, and pass the house... read more

She yells out, "Billy!" and nine boys come running and line up by the door.

A passer-by laughs to himself and asks, "Did you name all your sons Billy?"

"Yup. Makes calling them for dinner a lot easier."

"What happens when you only need to talk to one of them?"

"Then I ju... read more

As he is about to move a headstone, nearby passer-by asks him politely what is he doing. To that he responds "I'm just dropping off the kids at Grandma's"

Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.

Therefore, every day I go down on the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will do tomorrow night. Then I give them pictures... read more

A passer by runs over to check on him. He bundles up his coat into a pillow and places it under his head "Are you comfortable?" the stranger asks. He replies "Ach, I make a living."

Credit: Mel Brooks

To his surprise it is. So he heads to /r/jokes to see what has developed in the world of humor.

To his surprise, each post consisted of just a number. Scrolling through, he saw that each vote had a hundreds of upvotes while 3527 had thousands and several awards to boot.

Puzzled, he ... read more

...Yoda was walking down the street, wearing a ton of bling. Necklaces, bracelets, gold teeth, the works. A passer-by stops him and says, "Wow, Yoda, that's a ton of bling!"

Yoda replied, "For show, mine is all."

Tres-passers.

-Source: I don't remember where I first saw it, but when I googled it coolblondejokes.com got first result

One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."
... read more

A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.

A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.”

"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners. As a matter of fact, he's ... read more

"What are those machetes doing in your car?" asks the cop.

"I juggle them in my act."

"Oh, yeah? Says the doubtful cop. "Let's see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man driving by slows down to watch.

"Wow" says the passer-by. "... read more

A passer by sees the scene and intrigued goes and asks "What are you doing dragging a dead horse in the middle of the city streets?"

Man says "Help me cross it the street and I'll tell you."

Passer by helps him out "Now will you tell me?"

Man says "Help me get it up to the 5th f... read more

There was a guy whose name was Unbelievable. He was married to a very nice woman for years. Both of them were a very contented couple. One day when he was very old and sick, he said to his wife

"My dear wife, I lived with this weird name all my life. Now that I'm dying, i want you to promise ... read more

She will be going away on a business trip for a week. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The luxury car, its gleaming shell attracting wishful looks from passer-bys, is parked on the street in front of ... read more

So there's a truck driver with a very important delivery: penguins to be delivered to the zoo. Unfortunately, his truck breaks down and they are stranded in the middle of a desert. Luckily , a passer by has a pickup truck. So the truck driver flags him down and says: "here is $300. Go take these pen... read more