Marvel's greatest villain is Thanos. DC's greatest villain

is Rotten Tomatoes.

If Caitlyn Jenner wanted to play a marvel villain, what would she be called?

Tranos.

Why are complex villains always buried 15ft down?

Because deep down, they’re very good people.

The roads were so bad after this weekend's snowstorm I was the villain from The King And I...

I was crawlin' home

There is one villain Iron Man could never be mad at.

He finds Magneto just too darn attractive.

I have the power to heal others. I am a villain. Who am I?

The American healthcare system.

Which Batman villain was excluded from "The Snap?"

Two-Face, he's perfectly balanced.

Demetrius: "Villain, what hast thou done?"

Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo."

Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother."

Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

 

Shakespearean "Yo momma" diss:

Act IV, Scene II of Titus Andronicus, Aaron taunts his lover's sons

Why would a Batman villain be disguised as a nurse?

To Poison IV!

What do you call a snarky villain walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending

Have you heard about Stan lee's new marvel villains?

"The Accusers"

What do you call a Mexican Biblical Villain?

Poncho Pilate

You know, Frieza was a pretty cool villain…

…but his brother was Cooler.

Clowns terrorizing the streets. A real life billionaire villain running for president.

We need Batman now more than ever

Which Marvel villain is the master of subtlety?

Loki

Who's the worst villain in more games than any other?

EA

A hero without a villain becomes useless. A villain without a hero becomes..

The government.

What's Fat Albert's super villain alias?

Fatal Bert.

Do you know why super villains are so good at math?

Because of all their practice plotting.

Did you hear about the Scooby Doo villain who became an Olympic swimmer?

He would have won, if it weren't for all those medaling swimmers!

If an Iron Man movie was made with Magneto as the villain, what would its title be?

Stop hitting yourself.

What's the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?

Iron Man stops the villains but Aluminum Man just foils their plans.

Aquaman met Batman at a party

Batman says 'I've never met you before. So, what do you do, exactly?'

Aquaman: 'I fight all the villains of the sea.'

Batman: 'Huh. I didn't know there were any villains in the sea?!'

Aquaman: *'Cause I do my JOB!'*

On a normal afternoon, in anytown, USA...

A woman went to the jewelry store and bought a very expensive diamond necklace. As soon as it was paid for and fastened around her neck, she felt paranoid, like she was being watched.








She was right. As she was getting into her car, she saw a blinding light and co...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why Darth Vader?

Since I was little people asked why did I want to be Darth Vader. Easy, I wanna be a villain so I can saunter everywhere. Luke is always sprinting somewhere, always running, always sweaty and on the move. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Fuck no, and I ain’t about to either.

Why are there no politically correct superheroes?

Because they don't want to assume the villain's agenda.

There is a hero that is a Llama

He is the best at fighting crimes, solving crimes and saving the day. However, a villain outsmarted him. He was faced with saving either Marley Dank or the Llama chick that he liked, he could only choose one to save. I guess you can say that he was having a dillama

I told my sister that if you rearrange the letters in 'vanilla' you get 'pirate'

Her: no you don't

Me: yes, 'a villain' with a missing i.



Note: true story

The intelligent dog

Roxy, a large black Labrador, was sitting up in his seat at the movies, wagging his tail, growling at the villain and barking excitedly at the hero’s escapades. The woman in the seat behind him was intrigued.
“Excuse me,” she said, tapping Roxy’s owner on the shoulder, “that dog is extraordinary....

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Topical Jokes for April

(didn't post the last batch, so here's all of the recent ones)

4/28
Los Angeles police are looking for a vandal that spraypainted a police horse. The horse didn’t get a good look at the suspect because it was dark, and because the horse has no idea that it’s a cop.

Billionaire Richa...

How do you die by heroin?

When you are the villain