Back when I was a Scooby Doo villain I had an allotment....

Every time I went to tend to my vegetables I would find them covered in thin sheets of aluminium.

Those pesky kids were always foiling my plot.

(I'm sorry)

Marvel's greatest villain is Thanos. DC's greatest villain

is Rotten Tomatoes.

Can you name the villain from The Jungle Book?

...because I Shere Khan!

I don't know why the villains of Gotham City can't prevent Batman.

The answer is apparent.

How did the mathematician foil the villains plan?

(p + l)(a + n)=pa+pn+la+ln

If Caitlyn Jenner wanted to play a marvel villain, what would she be called?

Tranos.

The roads were so bad after this weekend's snowstorm I was the villain from The King And I...

I was crawlin' home

Why are complex villains always buried 15ft down?

Because deep down, they’re very good people.

There is one villain Iron Man could never be mad at.

He finds Magneto just too darn attractive.

Who's the most villain superhero?

Hu-Man

I have the power to heal others. I am a villain. Who am I?

The American healthcare system.

Demetrius: "Villain, what hast thou done?"

Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo."

Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother."

Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

 

Shakespearean "Yo momma" diss:

Act IV, Scene II of Titus Andronicus, Aaron taunts his lover's sons

Why is the villain of Avengers: Infinity War so good at tracking Infinity Stones?

Because he's good at smelling... he's The Nose.

Which Batman villain was excluded from "The Snap?"

Two-Face, he's perfectly balanced.

Why would a Batman villain be disguised as a nurse?

To Poison IV!

What do you call a snarky villain walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending

What do you call a Mexican Biblical Villain?

Poncho Pilate

Clowns terrorizing the streets. A real life billionaire villain running for president.

We need Batman now more than ever

You know, Frieza was a pretty cool villain…

…but his brother was Cooler.

A hero without a villain becomes useless. A villain without a hero becomes..

The government.

Who's the worst villain in more games than any other?

EA

Which Marvel villain is the master of subtlety?

Loki

Do you know why super villains are so good at math?

Because of all their practice plotting.

If an Iron Man movie was made with Magneto as the villain, what would its title be?

Stop hitting yourself.

What's Fat Albert's super villain alias?

Fatal Bert.

In one far away planet...

There is a substance called ‘nue’. Once something falls in it, it can’t get out and will sink and suffocate. There was once a woman who owned a cat, and one day she insulted someone- but she didn’t know they were a super villain. So, the villain, being a villain, took her to his secret base, stole h...

Did you hear about the Scooby Doo villain who became an Olympic swimmer?

He would have won, if it weren't for all those medaling swimmers!

An Australian superhero tracks down his arch nemesis...

He camps outside his evil lair to do some reconnaissance before going in. The next day he goes in but gets captured.

Villain: “Did you come here to die?”

Hero: “Nah mate, I came here yesterday.”

What's the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?

Iron Man stops the villains but Aluminum Man just foils their plans.

Aquaman met Batman at a party

Batman says 'I've never met you before. So, what do you do, exactly?'

Aquaman: 'I fight all the villains of the sea.'

Batman: 'Huh. I didn't know there were any villains in the sea?!'

Aquaman: *'Cause I do my JOB!'*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why Darth Vader?

Since I was little people asked why did I want to be Darth Vader. Easy, I wanna be a villain so I can saunter everywhere. Luke is always sprinting somewhere, always running, always sweaty and on the move. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Fuck no, and I ain’t about to either.

Why are there no politically correct superheroes?

Because they don't want to assume the villain's agenda.

There is a hero that is a Llama

He is the best at fighting crimes, solving crimes and saving the day. However, a villain outsmarted him. He was faced with saving either Marley Dank or the Llama chick that he liked, he could only choose one to save. I guess you can say that he was having a dillama

I told my sister that if you rearrange the letters in 'vanilla' you get 'pirate'

Her: no you don't

Me: yes, 'a villain' with a missing i.



Note: true story

The writers and the director all sit down to plot out the new Thor movie

The director asks, "Ok guys what do you think we should do for a villain?"

One writer responds, "Well I had idea for a flamboyantly-colored, three-headed dragon that shoots fire and speaks in riddles."

The director sighs, "That's way too much, let's keep the villain low key."

The intelligent dog

Roxy, a large black Labrador, was sitting up in his seat at the movies, wagging his tail, growling at the villain and barking excitedly at the hero’s escapades. The woman in the seat behind him was intrigued.
“Excuse me,” she said, tapping Roxy’s owner on the shoulder, “that dog is extraordinary....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes for April

(didn't post the last batch, so here's all of the recent ones)

4/28
Los Angeles police are looking for a vandal that spraypainted a police horse. The horse didn’t get a good look at the suspect because it was dark, and because the horse has no idea that it’s a cop.

Billionaire Richa...

How do you die by heroin?

When you are the villain

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.