A man applies to be a superhero as a part of the X-Men

When asked what his super power is, the man replies "Hindsight".

The doctor says "That won't be of any use to us".

The man replies, "Yes, I see that now".

Marvel have announced their newest Superhero team, one consisting entirely of Trans-woman.

The Ex-Men.

As a child, I always thought of my dad as a superhero...

The invisible man.

Which superhero is also a form of transport?

Bus Lightyear!

When I become a superhero, I'm going to call myself "Ironic".

So when there's trouble & I'm running away, people will be like "Isn't that ironic?!"

Which city has the highest concentration of superheros?

Capetown.

Captain Marvel wasn’t the first standalone female superhero...

Iron man was, because he’s “Fe-Male”

What do you call an organised superhero?

Captain Plan It

In the City of Loafington, there lived a superhero named Wonderbread.

Wonderbread was, predictably, a superhero with bread-themed powers. He could beat up a gang with a baguette, trap someone in a giant pita, or cushion someone's fall with swiftly-rising dough. He was beloved by all in the city, for his escapades had the lovely side-effect of feeding the entire city f...

An Australian superhero tracks down his arch nemesis...

He camps outside his evil lair to do some reconnaissance before going in. The next day he goes in but gets captured.

Villain: “Did you come here to die?”

Hero: “Nah mate, I came here yesterday.”

I'm not allowed to dress up as a superhero and visit the children's hospital anymore.

And I put so much work into my Thanos costume.

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

One is a superhero, the other is a command.

When it comes to the DCU, Mr. Freeze truely was the superhero.

I mean, justice can't be spelt without "Just ice".

If Caitlyn Jenner was a superhero

Would she be an xmen or a transformer?

Just saw a guy running down the road with a cape on, so I shouted, "Hey! Are you a superhero!?"

He yelled back, "Nah, I didn't pay for my haircut!"

We used to say my Grandad was like Spiderman, not because he was a web-slinging superhero...

But because he struggled to get out of the bath.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whenever I have sex, i feel like a superhero

Mostly because I'm wearing a mask

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A superhero arrives in a village.

The mayor of the village approaches him, clearly in distress. The superhero asks the mayor: "What's going on?". The mayor replies with: "We've got a monster nearby that's taking a virgin woman to eat every two days! Please, can you help us defeat it?". The superhero agrees and gets to work. Two week...

What superhero would be the the best stripper?

The Flash

Did you hear about the Marvel superhero that got busted for stealing a truck full of soft French Cheese?

It was brie larceny.

Who's the Best Traffic Signal Superhero?

Green Arrow

Did you know marvel was going to add Islamic superhero’s

But DC already made suicide squad





Possible repost can’t remember where I heard it

"As a blind man I never thought I'd see the day we'd have a blind superhero."

"I still haven't but I never thought I would either."

What did the Superhero wear to Court?

His Class Action Suit

Who is Micheal Barrymore’s favourite superhero?

Deadpool

I asked my wife if I'm a superhero in bed.

She said yes! The Flash.

Why couldn’t the press take pictures of the fastest superhero?

No Flash photography.

If I could be any superhero, I’d be Aluminium Man...

My superpower would be foiling crime...

I went to my tailor and said, "Make me look like a superhero."

He pulled out a pair of trousers and said, "Black pants, sir."

As a kid my favorite superhero was The Flash and my favorite animal was the cheetah,

I guess that explains why I'm now addicted to speed

What's the difference between a superhero and an ant that cannot speak?

Nothing, both are mutants.

What do you call a superhero who's made out of instant noodles?

Ra-man.

What do you call an all kid superhero team.......

Just Kids League

Marvel Comics have announced a new female, Muslim superhero who can fly.

Which is handy, cause she's not allowed to drive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...

Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?


Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytim...

Who is the only superhero that could beat Captain America?

Captain Vietnam

My dad's a superhero

He's the invisible man.

How many rich people does it take to create a superhero?

Three: two to die, and one to never get over it.

What did the critics say about Stallone's superhero movie?

It was DREDDful.

If Caitlyn Jenner was a superhero...

I'm not sure what her name would be, but I'm quite sure she'd be a part of the Ex-men.

What do you call a group of superhero vultures?

“The Scavengers”

What is the Great Gatsby's favorite superhero?

Green Lantern.
His least favorite?
Deadpool.

If a nihilist were to become a superhero...

...would they wear a Futility Belt?

Heard Caitlyn Jenner wants to be in a superhero movie.

I think she'll either be an X-Men or Transformers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex & Superheroes

It's annual superheroes new year's party. Batman and Spiderman are chatting.

All of a sudden the Hulk rushes in all red and perplexed.

"Whats up?" asked Batman.

"Well I was upstairs looking for the toilet and I passed the bedroom and saw Wonder Women naked on the bed and moan...

How many superhero’s can you fit in a sedan?

2 in the front, 2 in the back, and about 10 in the ashtray.

What did the wedding invitation say to the fruit superhero?

Save the date!

A research team asked a group of drug addicts who their favorite superhero was..

Oddly enough, almost all of them said Wonder Woman. The research team doesn't really know why, I guess they're just big fans of the heroine...

What superhero consists of only 16 atoms?

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!

What superhero should you never have dinner with?

Spider-Man. He never saves any Uncle Ben's.

Who is Vietnam's greatest superhero?

Vietman.

Superman walks into the Superhero Bar

and sits down next to Batman and orders a drink. Batman asks how his day was and Superman says "I was flying along checking things out when I looked down and saw Wonder Woman writhing on the beach nude. I couldn't help myself so I swooped down and started laying super pipe." Batman says "I bet that...

An Old Joke Only Some People Are Going To Get

How do you take down a superhero?

Put a horse under him

Like I said this is an older joke that is completely outdated and it's not for everyone but for those of you old enough to remember this one is for you

What do you call a Mexican superhero?

Juan Punch Man.

Why did the superhero flush the toilet?

It was his duty!!!!

told to me by my 7yo son

How does the pope refer to his secret superhero identity?

It's his altar ego.

As a child, I thought of my uncle as a superhero...

Because I found him in my closet in only underpants

What’s the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?

One is a superhero and the other is a command.

(Be gentle its my first joke)

Black Panther?

Wakanda superhero is that?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Magical Mirror

A husband and wife bought a mirror from a fortune teller hard up for cash. The fortune teller warned them that the mirror was capable of magically granting wishes, but to make sure to be mindful of the words you chose. If you rhyme and keep it simple, everything should be fine.

They of course...

Superpowers....

Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
-
“No”, she replies sleepily.
-
“I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me havin...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.