The difference between fiction and reality?

Fiction has to make sense.

As kids, we were gullible enough to believe in fictional characters we never see like Santa and the Easter Bunny. As adults, we know better...

Thank God.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dating life is like pulp fiction

One minute I feel like John Travolta. I got class, style, a nice car and I’m on my way to pick up my date.

The next minute I’m getting fucked in the ass.

In recent weeks, interest in reading long works of fiction has gone way down

Due to the novel coronavirus

I just cannot get into reading chinese fiction

There are just too many characters...

Never argue with a fictional character

Their minds are completely made up

Just a regular day in the Pope's life

This beautiful morning, the Pope woke early, excited for today's ceremony. It was a special day, and the Vatican will probably be even more crowded than usual. Standing there on the balcony and speaking to such a great audience is the purest joy of the Pope, second only to his closeness to God.
<...

Which fictional character i would totally bang?

My Girlfriend!

Since we have to stay home, I’m setting up my pavilion and projector outside tonight. Watching Pulp Fiction, followed by the Kill Bill movies.

It’s a Tent & Quarantino marathon.

My mom told me that Jesus died when his Royal Caribbean ship sank, but my priest said he actually died on the cross.

So...was that cruise a fiction?

If I'm being subjective, I'd say that the greatest hero in Science Fiction is "Doctor Who."

But if I'm being completely objective... I'd say it's "Doctor Whom."

A man asks an atheist if he had the ability to choose, which fictional character would he be

The atheist replied with " God "

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Three old ladies

Three old ladies had just passed away and stood outside the gates to heaven speaking to the Almighty One. He looked at the three of them sternly and said: "If you're gonna be here, you should know that we only have one single rule here in heaven, but that one rule is extremely strict! You may NEVER,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That scene in Pulp Fiction

where Vincent revives Mia by stabbing her in the chest with an adrenaline shot, except it’s me on a Saturday morning when my kid shoves his finger in my nostril to wake me up.

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I recently saw one of those animated pornos that basically makes fictional characters have sex.

This one was about a certain famous, big superhero guy in red with an 'i' on his shirt, I can't remember his name. Anyway, the film was surprisingly good and left me thinking, 'that's just fucking incredible'.

Did you hear that the director to Pulp Fiction is making a movie based off of a Belgian comic book where the main character gets deathly ill with an incredibly infectious disease and therefore has to cut off all contact with the outside world?

It's "Quentin Tarantino's *Tintin's Quarantino*".

Smart blonde, honest politican and grandma are walking into a bar

Who orders beer?



Grandma because other characters are fictional!

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Fastest Ever

On a typical COVID free for the boys day, Tom, Bob, and Joe are at the bar having a nice civil discussion on what the single fastest speed on the universe is. Bob outright says "the speed of lightning! Ain't nothing faster than the god of thunders toy". Tom being the scientist that he is doesn't hes...

What would you get if the director of Pulp Fiction were to contract Ebola?

A quarantinable Quentin Tarantino.

Congratulations to the #1 best selling fiction novel!

Barely in front of the Bible, the Holy Quran makes it to the top this year!

What do you do with a country that has a lot of fiction?

Call it Greece.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Religion] If you're religious this is not for you. The setup is completely fictional. Please don't get offended.

The catholic church would have you believe that Jesus Christ was one single person while, actually they were a set of twins - Jesus and Christ. It was through this that Jesus came back to life, Christ was crucified and Jesus made a religion by apparently coming back to life.
Christ was a...

A man found out the Bee Gees, were writing a fictional novel.

"Do you guys need any help?" he asked.

"We know how to do it!" they responded.

"Not even with the character development?"

"We know how to show it!"

What do you call a non-fiction vampire?

A real pain in the neck.

Harry Potter is a fiction

No ginger kid can have 2 real friend !

How Moral Are You?

This takes less than one minute and is incredibly accurate…well worth the little bit of effort I promise.

This test has only one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely and completely f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife recently asked me: "Hypothetically speaking, if you could have sex with any person in the world, whether real or fictional, who would you choose?"

Apparently, 'Karen' was not the right answer.

I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character

And not the President of the United States.

What's a dog's favorite movie?

Pup fiction.

What's the best college degree to become a successful fiction writer?

Journalism!

What is Donald Trump's favorite fictional character?

Wall-E

I've been pretty busy in quarantine

My erotic Animal Crossing fan fiction is going to blow some minds

What do you call fake oranges?

Pulp Fiction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a sea Captain's hilarious fictional book about bellybuttons?

*A novel naval navel novel.*

Edit: I'm so sorry. I had to exorcise this shitty joke out of my head before it drove me insane.

TIL That in 2014 Netflix announced they wouldn't be pursuing science-fiction themed original content.

But Stranger Things have happened.

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Religion is like a movie

The Torah is the first one, the New Testament is the sequel. The Qur'an is a reboot of the second - there's still Jesus, but he's not the main character anymore.

* Jews like the first movie, but ignore the sequels.
* Christians like the first two, but the third doesn't count.
* Muslims...

A treasure chest falls down from an airplane: Mickey Mouse, Santa Claus, a corrupt politician and an honest politician all run to the place where it lands. Who gets the treasure?

The corrupt politician, because all the others are fictional characters.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Professor X to JK Rowling:

Professor X: "What's your power?"

JK Rowling: "I can rewrite the past of fictional characters."

Gay Professor X: "Interesting."

What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?

Pulp fiction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watching Pulp Fiction for the first time, thought this was the best.

Three tomatoes are walking down the street. A papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Now the baby tomato starts lagging behind, the papa tomato gets pissed and squishes him saying "Ketchup"

Being genetically engineered, evaluated, selected, and trained from birth to be a super-soldier...

before being deployed to a fight a technologically inferior foe in a far-off country to secure economic gains for your overseers, then being either left to die or executed for convenience, is either the plot of a dark and kickass dystopian fiction novel, or a technically accurate description of the ...

I got fired from my job as a librarian.

For putting women's rights book in the fiction category.

Blue

Did you hear about the group of people that don't believe in the color blue? They think it's cyan's fiction

I'm writing some BSDM-themed LEGO fan-fiction.

I hope to release it later as "50 blocks of pain"

What is the difference between a horror fiction writer and a disabled physicist?

Haw

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is like the show Magic Schoolbus

I take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.


Also, it's completely fictional.

I got kicked out of the library

They booted me out because I moved all of the books on trickle-down economics to the fiction section

What is the similarities between ariel the mermaid and my love life?

They're fictional

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."

What genre would Trump's autobiography be filed under?

Fan fiction.

Why doesn't Yelp remove fake reviews of Indian restaurants?

Because everyone likes a little naan fiction

Something that I would get arrested for is

Putting the woman's rights book in the fiction section of the library

The most terrifying horror story... ever

Nester absolutely loves horror stories. From ghost and apparitions, to science-fiction, he enjoys reading all of them. One day while he visits a newly-opened bookstore, he got a glimpse on a rather unusual-looking book. A thin, hard-covered novel with no title.

As he examined the book, the o...

I lost my job at the library today

I was sorting through the books putting them back into the correct section and put the women’s rights book in the fiction section.

Still wondering what I did wrong...

Coin flip

One day, Bob came home from school and proudly told his father, “My teacher taught us about the probability of a coin flip today! A coin will land on heads 50% of the time all the time!”

Bob’s father: That’s... not quite how it works.

Bob: Nuh-uh! My teacher said so!

Bob’s fat...

What's the biggest dilemma of libraries

Deciding where to put the bible, fiction or non-fiction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sir Arthur and the case of brief case identity

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes, purportedly told of a time when he climbed into a taxi cab in Paris..!
.
Before he could utter a word, the driver turned to him and asked,
.
"Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?"

Doyle was flabbergasted.....

Roses are red, violets are blue...

Let's dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows EXACTLY what he's doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country, to make America more like the rest of the world.

That's why he passed Obamacare and th...

I started working at the large wildlife crematorium

And now I’m urning the big bucks.

**********

Disclaimer: was told this by a friend. Who isn’t on reddit. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemb...

Sherlock Holmes and Watson find themselves at a scene of utter carnage...

As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, “Arm yourself Watson, there's an evil hand afoot ahea...

The plan...

A middle aged woman has been conducting a long term affair with her lover for years. Her husband never knows because she tells him that she goes upstate one weekend a month to visit her elderly great aunt and take care of her. The husband wants nothing to do with such business and leaves her to it. ...

Tried To Compromise

I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We just didn't have anything in common. But when that happens, you have to try to compromise. I tried to compromise with her. I remember one time I was like, 'Look, if you go with me to my "Lord of the Rings" fan fiction meet up group, I'll go with you to this...

What kind of books do fruit read?

Pulp Fiction

I'm writing a book about Indian food...

It's gonna be a naan-fiction.

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