As kids, we were gullible enough to believe in fictional characters we never see like Santa and the Easter Bunny. As adults, we know better...

Thank God.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dating life is like pulp fiction

One minute I feel like John Travolta. I got class, style, a nice car and I’m on my way to pick up my date.

The next minute I’m getting fucked in the ass.

Never argue with a fictional character

Their minds are completely made up

In recent weeks, interest in reading long works of fiction has gone way down

Due to the novel coronavirus

I just cannot get into reading chinese fiction

There are just too many characters...

Since we have to stay home, I’m setting up my pavilion and projector outside tonight. Watching Pulp Fiction, followed by the Kill Bill movies.

It’s a Tent & Quarantino marathon.

A man asks an atheist if he had the ability to choose, which fictional character would he be

The atheist replied with " God "

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That scene in Pulp Fiction

where Vincent revives Mia by stabbing her in the chest with an adrenaline shot, except it’s me on a Saturday morning when my kid shoves his finger in my nostril to wake me up.

Which fictional character i would totally bang?

My Girlfriend!

People often use fiction as a means of escape. To experience the lives of people who don't have to deal with the same problems they do.

For example whenever my parents are fighting, I like to read Batman comics.

If I'm being subjective, I'd say that the greatest hero in Science Fiction is "Doctor Who."

But if I'm being completely objective... I'd say it's "Doctor Whom."

Did you hear that the director to Pulp Fiction is making a movie based off of a Belgian comic book where the main character gets deathly ill with an incredibly infectious disease and therefore has to cut off all contact with the outside world?

It's "Quentin Tarantino's *Tintin's Quarantino*".

How Moral Are You?

This takes less than one minute and is incredibly accurate…well worth the little bit of effort I promise.

This test has only one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely and completely f...

A man named Isaac and a famous science fiction writer sit in a bar.

Isaac says to the science fiction writer, "who are you?"
The writer replies: "I am Isaac."
Delighted at the coincidence, Isaac says "As am I!"
The writer frowns and shakes his head. "No, Asim*ov*."

What would you get if the director of Pulp Fiction were to contract Ebola?

A quarantinable Quentin Tarantino.

What do you do with a country that has a lot of fiction?

Call it Greece.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently saw one of those animated pornos that basically makes fictional characters have sex.

This one was about a certain famous, big superhero guy in red with an 'i' on his shirt, I can't remember his name. Anyway, the film was surprisingly good and left me thinking, 'that's just fucking incredible'.

Congratulations to the #1 best selling fiction novel!

Barely in front of the Bible, the Holy Quran makes it to the top this year!

What's a dog's favorite movie?

Pup fiction.

I've been pretty busy in quarantine

My erotic Animal Crossing fan fiction is going to blow some minds

A man found out the Bee Gees, were writing a fictional novel.

"Do you guys need any help?" he asked.

"We know how to do it!" they responded.

"Not even with the character development?"

"We know how to show it!"

What do you call fake oranges?

Pulp Fiction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Religion] If you're religious this is not for you. The setup is completely fictional. Please don't get offended.

The catholic church would have you believe that Jesus Christ was one single person while, actually they were a set of twins - Jesus and Christ. It was through this that Jesus came back to life, Christ was crucified and Jesus made a religion by apparently coming back to life.
Christ was a...

What do you call a non-fiction vampire?

A real pain in the neck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife recently asked me: "Hypothetically speaking, if you could have sex with any person in the world, whether real or fictional, who would you choose?"

Apparently, 'Karen' was not the right answer.

I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character

And not the President of the United States.

My mom told me Jesus died on a Royal Caribbean ship, but my priest said he died on a cross.

Was that cruise a fiction?

What is Donald Trump's favorite fictional character?

Wall-E

What's the best college degree to become a successful fiction writer?

Journalism!

Harry Potter is a fiction

No ginger kid can have 2 real friend !

A treasure chest falls down from an airplane: Mickey Mouse, Santa Claus, a corrupt politician and an honest politician all run to the place where it lands. Who gets the treasure?

The corrupt politician, because all the others are fictional characters.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Religion is like a movie

The Torah is the first one, the New Testament is the sequel. The Qur'an is a reboot of the second - there's still Jesus, but he's not the main character anymore.

* Jews like the first movie, but ignore the sequels.
* Christians like the first two, but the third doesn't count.
* Muslims...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a sea Captain's hilarious fictional book about bellybuttons?

*A novel naval navel novel.*

Edit: I'm so sorry. I had to exorcise this shitty joke out of my head before it drove me insane.

What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?

Pulp fiction.

TIL That in 2014 Netflix announced they wouldn't be pursuing science-fiction themed original content.

But Stranger Things have happened.

Being genetically engineered, evaluated, selected, and trained from birth to be a super-soldier...

before being deployed to a fight a technologically inferior foe in a far-off country to secure economic gains for your overseers, then being either left to die or executed for convenience, is either the plot of a dark and kickass dystopian fiction novel, or a technically accurate description of the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Professor X to JK Rowling:

Professor X: "What's your power?"

JK Rowling: "I can rewrite the past of fictional characters."

Gay Professor X: "Interesting."

Blue

Did you hear about the group of people that don't believe in the color blue? They think it's cyan's fiction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watching Pulp Fiction for the first time, thought this was the best.

Three tomatoes are walking down the street. A papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Now the baby tomato starts lagging behind, the papa tomato gets pissed and squishes him saying "Ketchup"

Fed up with God's creations, Lucifer decides to lead an army to destroy humanity...

The war had been raging for many years, and humanity was slowly losing. Lucifer could raise a never ending stream of demons, and until he was contained, the fighting would never end.

In order to stop him, God gives the humans a ritual that would seal away Satan forever. The Pope was recruited...

3 tomatoes are walking down the street

Papa tomato, Mama tomato and Baby tomato. As the three of them walk, Papa tomato notices that Baby tomato can't keep up with the pace of his parents. So he turns around, walks over to him and says, "Ketchup."


From pulp fiction. Literally just saw the part in which this joke being told and...

I got kicked out of the library

They booted me out because I moved all of the books on trickle-down economics to the fiction section

I got fired from my job as a librarian.

For putting women's rights book in the fiction category.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which fictional lawyer has he smallest penis?

Fatticus Inch

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is like the show Magic Schoolbus

I take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.


Also, it's completely fictional.

What is the similarities between ariel the mermaid and my love life?

They're fictional

Something that I would get arrested for is

Putting the woman's rights book in the fiction section of the library

What genre would Trump's autobiography be filed under?

Fan fiction.

I'm writing some BSDM-themed LEGO fan-fiction.

I hope to release it later as "50 blocks of pain"

The most terrifying horror story... ever

Nester absolutely loves horror stories. From ghost and apparitions, to science-fiction, he enjoys reading all of them. One day while he visits a newly-opened bookstore, he got a glimpse on a rather unusual-looking book. A thin, hard-covered novel with no title.

As he examined the book, the o...

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."

Why doesn't Yelp remove fake reviews of Indian restaurants?

Because everyone likes a little naan fiction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Telling Tale of Oliver Tin

When he was young, Oliver Tin knew nothing about what he wanted to do, except that he wanted to do everything.

At the age of 5, he had already mastered reading, and had grown bored of all the literature he could find, fiction or not. Oliver Tin took this boredom as an obligation to produce wo...

Coin flip

One day, Bob came home from school and proudly told his father, “My teacher taught us about the probability of a coin flip today! A coin will land on heads 50% of the time all the time!”

Bob’s father: That’s... not quite how it works.

Bob: Nuh-uh! My teacher said so!

Bob’s fat...

What's the biggest dilemma of libraries

Deciding where to put the bible, fiction or non-fiction

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sir Arthur and the case of brief case identity

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes, purportedly told of a time when he climbed into a taxi cab in Paris..!
.
Before he could utter a word, the driver turned to him and asked,
.
"Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?"

Doyle was flabbergasted.....

Y'know when the carton says "pulp free" but then it has some pulp anyway?

Pulp Fiction

I started working at the large wildlife crematorium

And now I’m urning the big bucks.

**********

Disclaimer: was told this by a friend. Who isn’t on reddit. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemb...

Roses are red, violets are blue...

Let's dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows EXACTLY what he's doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country, to make America more like the rest of the world.

That's why he passed Obamacare and th...

Sherlock Holmes and Watson find themselves at a scene of utter carnage...

As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, “Arm yourself Watson, there's an evil hand afoot ahea...

The plan...

A middle aged woman has been conducting a long term affair with her lover for years. Her husband never knows because she tells him that she goes upstate one weekend a month to visit her elderly great aunt and take care of her. The husband wants nothing to do with such business and leaves her to it. ...

Tried To Compromise

I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We just didn't have anything in common. But when that happens, you have to try to compromise. I tried to compromise with her. I remember one time I was like, 'Look, if you go with me to my "Lord of the Rings" fan fiction meet up group, I'll go with you to this...

What kind of books do fruit read?

Pulp Fiction

I'm writing a book about Indian food...

It's gonna be a naan-fiction.

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