My mom told me Jesus died on a Royal Caribbean ship, but my priest said he died on a cross.

Was that cruise a fiction?

What would you get if the director of Pulp Fiction were to contract Ebola?

A quarantinable Quentin Tarantino.

Often, people use fiction as an escape. They live vicariously through the lives of people who don't have to deal with the same problems that they do.

For instance, whenever my parents are fighting, I like to read Batman comics.

What do you do with a country that has a lot of fiction?

Call it Greece.

If I'm being subjective, I'd say that the greatest hero in Science Fiction is "Doctor Who."

But if I'm being completely objective... I'd say it's "Doctor Whom."

I got fired from my job as a librarian.

For putting women's rights book in the fiction category.

Congratulations to the #1 best selling fiction novel!

Barely in front of the Bible, the Holy Quran makes it to the top this year!

Harry Potter is a fiction

No ginger kid can have 2 real friend !

What do you call a non-fiction vampire?

A real pain in the neck.

What's the best college degree to become a successful fiction writer?

Journalism!

I hate it when characters come back to life in fiction...

It really removes some tension from the book. That's why I didn't like the bible.

TIL That in 2014 Netflix announced they wouldn't be pursuing science-fiction themed original content.

But Stranger Things have happened.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watching Pulp Fiction for the first time, thought this was the best.

Three tomatoes are walking down the street. A papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Now the baby tomato starts lagging behind, the papa tomato gets pissed and squishes him saying "Ketchup"

I was watching Pulp Fiction again and...

...my flatmate pops in and says, " Why are you watching this again?, you have seen it a thousand times already."

"Just for the gags"

I got kicked out of the library

They booted me out because I moved all of the books on trickle-down economics to the fiction section

I'm writing some BSDM-themed LEGO fan-fiction.

I hope to release it later as "50 blocks of pain"

What is the difference between a horror fiction writer and a disabled physicist?

Haw

Fed up with God's creations, Lucifer decides to lead an army to destroy humanity...

The war had been raging for many years, and humanity was slowly losing. Lucifer could raise a never ending stream of demons, and until he was contained, the fighting would never end.

In order to stop him, God gives the humans a ritual that would seal away Satan forever. The Pope was recruited...

What do you call it when the Annoying Orange tells lies?

Pulp Fiction

Something that I would get arrested for is

Putting the woman's rights book in the fiction section of the library

The most terrifying horror story... ever

Nester absolutely loves horror stories. From ghost and apparitions, to science-fiction, he enjoys reading all of them. One day while he visits a newly-opened bookstore, he got a glimpse on a rather unusual-looking book. A thin, hard-covered novel with no title.

As he examined the book, the o...

What genre would Trump's autobiography be filed under?

Fan fiction.

Why doesn't Yelp remove fake reviews of Indian restaurants?

Because everyone likes a little naan fiction

Sherlock Holmes and Watson find themselves at a scene of utter carnage...

As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, “Arm yourself Watson, there's an evil hand afoot ahea...

I lost my job at the library today

I was sorting through the books putting them back into the correct section and put the women’s rights book in the fiction section.

Still wondering what I did wrong...

Coin flip

One day, Bob came home from school and proudly told his father, “My teacher taught us about the probability of a coin flip today! A coin will land on heads 50% of the time all the time!”

Bob’s father: That’s... not quite how it works.

Bob: Nuh-uh! My teacher said so!

Bob’s fat...

What's the biggest dilemma of libraries

Deciding where to put the bible, fiction or non-fiction

I started working at the large wildlife crematorium

And now I’m urning the big bucks.

**********

Disclaimer: was told this by a friend. Who isn’t on reddit. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemb...

Where can you find Indian cookbooks?

In the naan-fiction section

What's an oranges' favorite movie?

Pulp Fiction.

Roses are red, violets are blue...

Let's dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows EXACTLY what he's doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country, to make America more like the rest of the world.

That's why he passed Obamacare and th...

Tried To Compromise

I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We just didn't have anything in common. But when that happens, you have to try to compromise. I tried to compromise with her. I remember one time I was like, 'Look, if you go with me to my "Lord of the Rings" fan fiction meet up group, I'll go with you to this...

What kind of books do fruit read?

Pulp Fiction

I'm writing a book about Indian food...

It's gonna be a naan-fiction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why I changed my name

Well, for my story to make any sense, I need to clarify that I'm somewhat of a celebrity in my country. I think even internationally people have heard about me, though I'm not too sure about it (fortunately the people who know about me also tend to be technologically a bit behind the curve, so you d...

will you enjoy some humour?

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offense!

------------ --------- ---------

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long li...

I heard the Vatican was making a movie. The name?

Pope Fiction

Where do they categorize the history books in an Indian library?

Naan-Fiction.

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