Nintendo is making a new game about gambling monsters.

It's called Pokermon.

Why would you think a show about children and monsters is weird?

Honestly, I've seen stranger things

What search engine do spooky monsters use?

Ghoul ghoul.

It's that time of the year when many Americans go around in public pretending to be something they're not, with many choosing to appear as monsters and ghouls. But enough about the elections, it's also Halloween.

But enough about the elections, it's also Halloween.

What do you call a city full of monsters?

Monstrocity

Why don't Monsters eat Ghosts?

They taste like sheet!!

A witch finishes watching Monsters Inc...

And has an idea. Surely if children’s laughter is more powerful, then orphans crying for joy would make their tears MORE magical! So she teleports outside of a young orphans bedroom and slowly enters the room.

Inside, the young child in the bed stirs awake. “Who’s there?” He asks the figure. ...

Why is Wolfenstein known as THE first person shooter?

Because in the games before it, you only shot monsters.

What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships.

Are monsters good at math?

No, unless you Count Dracula.

I just finished installing a 5G mast for the local area when this crazy lady runs out of the house and starts throwing bizarre accusations of how 5G is hurting people's health and what monsters we telecoms guys are. What a screwball!

4G must've fried her brain.

What do witchers do when they're not busy killing monsters?

They kill time

There is a Monsters Inc Comedy Show in Disney World and you can send in jokes to be included, here's mine (it was included)

What's a swamp monster's favorite holiday treat.

Egg-Bog

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All the scarers in monsters inc are gay

They're always coming out of closets

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which monsters are most fond of sex?

Skeletons; they're always down to bone

Last night our teenage daughter ran into our bedroom...

"Dad! Mom! There are monsters under my bed and in my closet!"


"Yes darling we know all about your energy drink addition, now go back to bed"

What is a sea monsters favourite snack?

Ship n dip

Bed monsters

A guy had a fear that there was a monster living under his bed, and he decided to seek professional help. During the consultation, the shrink told him his situation was unusual but not unheard of. He can be cured, but it would take at minimum 6 session at $250 each.

The guy declined citing t...

What is a superstitious monsters favorite daily read?

Its horrorscope

Kids look under the bed before going to sleep to check there is no monster.

Monsters check there's no Chuck Norris

There are three monsters that live in my house and steal all of my money,

I like to call them, “the accidents,” but my wife insists on calling them our children.

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