UPJOKE
evilsatanicexorcismwickedsupernaturalsatanmysticalfiendishdiabolicaldiabolicunholyinfernalhellishdemondevilish

What is the name of a demonic cookbook?

The Necronom-nom-nom.

Statistically speaking, active people are less likely to be demonically possessed than sedentary people.

This is one of the benefits of exorcising regularly.

What do apostrophes and demonic behavior have in common?

They're both signs of possession.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The dark presence of the knight in black armor terrified the patrons of the inn. And he was sulking at the bar, clearly worried as he down the pint of ale.

He towered over the others who were also in the inn's bar, his armor covered in jagged spikes that were as lethal as the man-sized swords that hung from his back. His eyes glowed blood-red and a sickening black miasma poured through the small cracks in the plate armor. He even had a large pair of ho...

What do you call a demonic tree?

Treevil

So my bedroom was filled with a demonic aura

I called in the local exorcist. When he entered my bedroom, I told him

"Get the hell out of here"

As the group of people finished their demonic chanting...

they stabbed an object, lying on the table, feeding it to someone.








♫ Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you ♫

Never eat the slaw at a demonic lawyer's picnic.

Possession is 9/10 of the slaw.

What did the demonic junkie get charged with?

Two counts of possession

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys were arguing about who was going to bat first.

Both of them keep fussing for straight five minutes when one of them suggests the one who can resist the most pain in the balls will bat. The other kid nods and they begin. The first kid takes a step back and kicks as hard as he can at the other kid's balls. The kid naturally puts his hand at his ba...

Freud, Darwin and the Pope walked into a bar.

Sitting on the counter is a weird, creepy statue. As they walk in, it's eyes seem to follow them.
They approach the bar, and to their shock the statue speaks. "Enjoy your beverages, mortals."

The three are stunned for a moment.
Darwin recovers first.
"This obviously is a product of ...

I bought a book

I bought a book entitled "an exorcist explains the demonic".

I don't know what possessed me !

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