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Documentary Jokes

I just watched a documentary on marijuana.

I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
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Just been speaking to a mate of mine, he's just seen the Chernobyl documentary.

He actually grew up in Ukraine in the 1980's and was able to count at least 11 historical inaccuracies on one hand.
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Netflix is soon releasing an extremely realistic documentary series about the life of Abraham Lincoln.

The finale is shot before a live audience.
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I saw a documentary about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage

But I think this sub's doing even better!
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I just watched a documentary on the history of hospital gurneys

It was very moving.
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I heard there was a documentary on Netflix about the clitoris

I couldn’t find it.

The Beastie Boys have released a 5 part documentary! Parts A through D are freely available to download, but

You have to fight for your right to Part E!
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There's a new documentary planned about flying

They're filming the pilot.
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Documentary on Afghanistan

A journalist goes to Afganistan for a documentary. In a little village he saw an old man and asked him to narrate a typical happy story of his village.
The old man smiled and began:"One day, a long time ago, my goat got lost in the mountains. As is our tradition, all the men of the village gather...
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I watched a documentary about beavers the other day.

It was the best dam film I've ever seen
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Did you hear about the documentary claiming the twin towers were brought down by a large sneeze?

Gesundheit 9/11.
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I just watched a two-hour documentary on how modern jetliners are manufactured.

It was riveting.
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The Flat Earth society have made a new documentary....

.....which has been nominated for the Golden Globe award.
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I watched that documentary about the guy who fell in love with his car.

I was fucking exhausting.

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I'm making a documentary...

I'm making a controversial documentary that reveals decades of covered-up sexual misconduct in youth tennis programs across the country. It's called *15 - Love*.

I watched a documentary on Marijuana last night…

…that’s probably how I’ll watch all documentaries from now on.
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I just saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.

It was riveting.
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I watched a documentary about cranes today...

...it was very uplifting
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Did everyone hear about the new Beastie Boys documentary coming to Netflix?

The 5-part series will release parts A through D this winter. Upon completion, viewers are required to fight for their right to part E.
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So they made a documentary on Netflix about Madeline McCann....

8 episodes, roughly 8 hours, and if you watched it you watched her more than her parents did.
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I'm making a documentary about the American education system.

Shooting starts soon.
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Have you seen the new documentary about white trash?

I've only seen the trailer.
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Where was the documentary of the Dover - Calais ferry broadcast?

On the English Channel
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I watched a documentary about the bikini.

It was a two-part series and it was very revealing.
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A journalist was visiting a completely isolated tribe for a documentary...

As she was leaving, she asks her translator to tell their leader that she had a great time, but needed to go now.

the leader seems to be sad, and her translator explains what he said: "he doesn't want you to leave, he really likes your company."

she apologizes, but insists she has to l...
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I watched a documentary about the first test of the A-bomb.

It was a real blast from the past.
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My wife said, “Let’s honour his memory by watching a two hour documentary on Meatloaf.’

I said, “I’ll do anything for love, but I can’t do that.”
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I just saw a great documentary on how they built the Eiffel Tower.

I'm not gonna lie, it was riveting.
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Anyone else watch the documentary on the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge?

It was riveting
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A moving documentary on hereditary digestive conditions

Runs in the Family
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I just watched a documentary about anorexia.

The research was a little thin.
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A TV crew was on a remote village making a documentary…

…they stopped a villager and asked him if he would tell a happy anecdote for the camera. The man smiled, gave a deep, longing breath and told “well, there was this time when Sven’s sheep got lost, so it wandered up the mountain, so we got together to look for it. We searched and searched all day lon...

Finally a documentary full of watches, hourglasses, and sundials.

It's about time.
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I was watching a really good documentary about Quantum physics the other day



But I decided to stop watching in case I affected the outcome
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I recently saw a documentary about bridges.

It was the most suspenseful documentary I have seen.
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I'm making a new documentary on how to fly a plane

we're currently filming the pilot
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Movie pitch for a documentary

Movie pitch: a virus is spreading rapidly around the world, people are panic buying toilet paper and the fate of humanity relies on collage kids not partying.

WORKING TITLE: PARTY POOPER

one of the best documentarys

ive ever watched on netflix is about a chinese couple who didnt board the Malaysian flight 370 (one that disappeared) when they should have done. All sorts of conspiracy theories. worth a watch, highly recommended.

It's called 2 wongs dont make a flight
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What’s a Documentary about Dwayne Johnson?

A Rock Doc
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Just finished watching that Documentary on the invention of the shovel...

Ground Breaking Stuff.
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Just saw the Michael Jackson documentary

I didn’t realize how many kids were butt-hurt after Leaving Neverland

Have you seen the documentary from 2010 about the Pixar movie display case?

It holds Up.
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I just finished watching a mediocre documentary on mathematical functions.

The plot was predictable and the special f(x) was terrible.
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I was playing a flat earth documentary on Netflix when my wife walked in.

What you watching?

Sci-fi.
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A school finally decided it's ok to show their students a documentary about menstrual cycles.

It was about bloody time.
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A movie studio is casting roles for a documentary about classical musicians.

Tom Cruise says “I’ll play the part of Mozart”
Liam Neeson says “I’ll make a great Beethoven”
Arnold Schwarzenegger says “I’ll be Bach”
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What did everyone think of the Challenger documentary on Netflix?

I only saw bits and pieces.
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Dave: I’m making a documentary about my life.

Dave: And, I think you should play the role of my father.

Friend: I don’t want to be your father.

Dave: Perfect, you already know your lines.
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Netflix is producing a documentary about the end of BlockBuster....

Thats like if the school shooters produced "Bowling for Columbine"
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I was watching a documentary on Chinese engineering.

They were discussing the Three Gorges Dam on the Yangtze River, the worlds largest hydroelectric dam.

My wife walks in and asks, “Is that the Hoover Dam?”

Me: “No, it’s the Three Gorges Dam in China.”

Her: “Oh, I guess all dams just look alike.”

Me: “Honey, don’t be a dam...
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What do you call a documentary about a trombone

A slideshow
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Saw a documentary on Russian roulette

It was mind blowing.
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Yesterday, I watched a documentary on the history of the WD-40.

It was non friction.
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A documentary about where cancer comes from.

Finding chemo
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I watched a documentary about stroke survivors last night.

It was a bit one sided.
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Ever watch a documentary about joining steel together?

It can be riveting.
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I made a one minute long documentary on a U.S. island territory in Micronesia...

It's called Guam in 60 Seconds.
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A father and son are watching a documentary about evolution...

...the boy had already watched this episode and was viewing it again carefully as he found it a bit confusing as to what the different prehistoric animals were evolving into. He recalled this episode ended with an ant-like insect becoming a crustacean-like animal. By the end he said 'Ep seen, did an...
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I just watched a fascinating documentary about labyrinths.

It was amazing.
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Just watched a really interesting documentary about ship building.

Riveting.
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I watched a documentary on how they make boats.

It was rivetting
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I watched a great documentary on menstruation in Victorian times

It was a great period piece.
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I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.

It was a touching story.
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My dad was telling me about a documentary about the human body when it's constipated.

Unfortunately, it hasn't come out yet.
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Documentary

I just finished watching a documentary on time machines. That's 3 hours of my life I'll probably get back.
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I watched a documentary on the feeding behaviors and biology of cattle...

"Graze Anatomy"
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I just watched a documentary on blackouts...

It was dark as fuck.

I don’t think Michael Jackson would make for a good documentary

He’d make a better thriller
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Did you see that documentary about the death penalty?

Tired concept, great execution.
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After Peter Jackson’s successful launch of World War 1 documentary They Will Not Grow, George Lucas has announced he is making a documentary of World War 2 with remastered footage.

Spoiler: France invades first.
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Did you hear they're finally making a documentary about the invention of the wristwatch?

It's about time.

I watched a documentary about how pickles are made.

It was jarring.
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I watched this documentary about retina surgery..

It was eye opening.
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I saw a documentary about disabled people

It wasn't too moving
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String to the penis

A couple was watching a documentary about an African tribe. They learned that when each male member of this particular tribe reaches a certain age, he has a string with a weight attached to it tied around his penis. After a while the weight stretches the penis until it's 20 inches long.

Later...

Did you see that documentary about wisdom teeth?

It’s called “An Inconvenient Tooth”.
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I watched a gripping rock-climbing documentary on netflix the other day

It was great but it ended on a cliffhanger
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My wife recently recommended a new nature documentary on frogs...

...but I didn't find it very ribbiting
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I watched a terrible documentary on traffic signals.

Who green-lights these things?
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That new Madeleine McCann documentary on Netflix was great and all...

It just felt like there was something still missing...
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Documentary Crew on a Cannibal Island

A documentary crew of three guys explore an island and stumble across some natives. The natives turn out to be cannibals and the three guys get captured and tied up.

They are each given an option;

"You can either complete our two trials, fail and we'll kill you and eat you or don't tak...

What do you call a man who illegally downloaded a documentary about circles?

A *πrate*
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I just watched a terrible documentary on how to build a time machine.

That’s an hour of my life that I’ll probably get back.
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I watched a documentary about the 1936 summer Olympics in Berlin

It seemed like a wonderful event, but it made me uneasy every time the officials said, "Let's make this a good, clean race."
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