This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watching movies on illegal websites are probably the hottest thing you can do.

I mean, why else would all these horny singles in my area be ready to chat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my favourite jokes from one of my favourite movies, Desperado. Originally delivered by my favourite director, Quentin Tarantino

This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says...

A blonde and her boyfriend went to the movies

In the film, the main character is running through the storm so she says, "I bet you £20, that they don't get struck by lightning."
And her boyfriend agrees.

20 seconds later the main character is stuck by lightning and the blonde looks confused and gets £20 to give.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I moved into a neighborhood down near a movie theater once

It was pretty nice. Everyone was friendly and it wasn’t even that expensive. I thought I could probably live there for a little while untill I got a knock on the door from a neighbor shortly after I moved in.

He heard that I was new, and wanted to let me know something about my next door neig...

Action movies have really exaggerated

how hard it is to take over the Capitol Building.

What do the movies The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people

Why did the Star Wars movies come out as 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?

Yoda was in charge of the scheduling.

My wife screamed at me, "You're obsessed with those Star Wars movies. I'm leaving you."

"May divorce be with you!!" I replied.

What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot?

671 Hallmark movies.

I’ve been watching the Star Wars movies, and I realized something

It’s not that big of a shock that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father.


I mean, they have the same no’s.

Are aliens from invasion movies actually British?

Because all they do is colonize

Rick Astley doesn't mind lending out his Disney movies...

But he's never gonna give you Up.

What’s the name of that one eyed pirate movies actor?

Eye Patchino

Why do movies with Kevin Hart and Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson pairing do well in the box office?

Because they have a little Hart and a big Johnson

I just saw a headline that read “The 10 Worst Netflix movies of 2020”

...There’s only 10?

Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?

He ogre-dosed

I just watched the cheesiest movies of all time.

3: The Havarti Boys


2: Goudafellas


And my all time favorite cheesy movie


1: The Guns of Provolone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redneck girl asks her dad for twenty bucks to go to the movies.

"Alright," he father says, "But you gotta suck my dick."

She refuses, but later decides she really wants to see the new Brad Pitt movie. So she goes back and tells her dad to whip it out.

As soon as she wraps her mouth around it, she pulls away and nearly pukes.

"That tastes l...

My friend swears he loves horror movies involving clowns

I'm not certain, but I think he means It.

I can't stop watching movies with strong female leads

I'm a heroine addict

I just watched Wonder Woman 1984 and I had zero idea what was going on.

Guess I shouldn't have skipped the other 1,983 movies.

Why aren’t children allowed to watch movies about green ogres?

Because of all the Shrexual content.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Porn movies are positive movies:

No murder,
No war,
No fight,
No conspiracy,
No cheating,
No racism,
No religious fanatics,
No language problem,
No crying or teasing,
Good cooperation,
Good coordination,
Natural acting,
Everybody enjoys the climax,
Lots of love,
...

PG 13 movies can show literally hundreds of human beings getting slaughtered and nobody bats an eye. But you drown just one dog...

and they ask you to leave the pool.

I like the Harry Potter books and movies but

I think the character of Nearly Headless Nick was poorly executed.

I hate when people say I don't know any good movies.

Of course I dont, did you meet any?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend wanted me to make love to her like in the movies.

She got pissed when I stuck it in her ass and came on her face. I guess we don’t watch the same kind of movies.

What’s the difference between Hallmark movies and Scooby-Doo?

One has formulaic plots, two-dimensional characters, and bad guys trying to close some kind of real estate deal, and the other has a talking dog in it.

What do you call a 2020 binge of the Kill Bill movies?

Rentin' Quarantino

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(A little long) There was a man who had just been booked into prison for the first time and was visibly nervous

A veteran inmate who has been there a while saw the newbie and went over and said “Hey, I can tell you’re new here and you’re nervous but prison is alright.”


The newbie responded “yeah?”


“Of course,” responded the vet. “Like for example do you like golfing?”


The new...

I just seen the guy from the fantastic 4 movies at the gas station.

You know the human torch.. I tried to get his autograph but he just kept on rolling around on the floor screaming.

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