Why aren’t children allowed to watch movies about green ogres?

Because of all the Shrexual content.

Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4-5-6, 1-2-3?

In charge of scheduling, I was.

Why were the Star Wars movies released 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of planning, Yoda was.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Porn movies are positive movies:

No murder,
No war,
No fight,
No conspiracy,
No cheating,
No racism,
No religious fanatics,
No language problem,
No crying or teasing,
Good cooperation,
Good coordination,
Natural acting,
Everybody enjoys the climax,
Lots of love,
...

What do you call a 2020 binge of the Kill Bill movies?

Rentin' Quarantino

I just seen the guy from the fantastic 4 movies at the gas station.

You know the human torch.. I tried to get his autograph but he just kept on rolling around on the floor screaming.

What’s the difference between Hallmark movies and Scooby-Doo?

One has formulaic plots, two-dimensional characters, and bad guys trying to close some kind of real estate deal, and the other has a talking dog in it.

PG 13 movies can show literally hundreds of human beings getting slaughtered and nobody bats an eye. But you drown just one dog...

and they ask you to leave the pool.

I like the Harry Potter books and movies but

I think the character of Nearly Headless Nick was poorly executed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend wanted me to make love to her like in the movies.

She got pissed when I stuck it in her ass and came on her face. I guess we don’t watch the same kind of movies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man buys a lie detecting robot that slaps people when they lie, so he decides to try it out at dinner.

He asks his son, "Did you go to school today?" The son replies, "Yes," and the robot slaps him. The son says, "Alright, I went to the movies."



The father asks, "What did you see?" and the son replies, "Toy Story 4." The robot slaps him again, and the son says, "Okay, okay! It was an a...

Where do people from Boston go to buy antique adult movies?

A Pawn Shawp

Steven Spielberg just announced he’s not doing anymore shark movies.

This is a real Jaw dropper

What movies teach us:

AMERICAN MOVIES TEACH US:

1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu.

2. More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.

3. The purpose of school system of U.S. is to promote basketball / baseball.

4. Aliens have specia...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was this guy who was going on a date to the movies with a beautiful girl.

-Edit my dad told me this joke and I just got some of the parts I remembered but I’m pretty sure this is all it

Before he went, he made the mistake of eating a jumbo can of beans. Right after he picked her up, he felt the need to fart, but he figured he could wait until they got to the movies...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't porn movies win Oscars?

Because the plots are full of holes.

What is a Truckers favorite part about the movies?

The trailer

I have decided to pass my time in self-quarantine by streaming Sylvester Stallone movies.

Unfortunately, I'm off to a Rocky start.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite NSFW Joke: A guy calls his friend, and says "you're not gonna BELIEVE what happened to me last night...

I was walking home from the bar, and I saw this woman tied to the railroad tracks, like in the old silent movies!"

His friend says "that's crazy! So what did you do?"
"Well, I untied her of course! And then I took her home and had sex with her all night long."

His friend says "tha...

Who is D.C. Movies most dangerous villain?

Mr. Reboot

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do hackers from movies and guys with small dicks have in common?

They both have to say 'I'm in'.

I always wanted to get into sci-fi movies about time travel...

...but my interest in time travel ended before it really began.

I like to hold hands at the movies...

which always seems to startle strangers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don’t like porn movies.

There are just to many plot holes.

Last night, me and my girlfriend watched 3 movies back to back.

Luckily, i was the one facing the tv.

In the new Jumanji movies

It seems that Karen Gillan and Jack Black are stuck between a Rock and a Hart place.

Rick Astley will lend you any of his pixar movies except one.

He's never gonna give you Up

I recently started watching pirate based movies and documentaries.

Now I’m hooked.

Since we have to stay home, I’m setting up my pavilion and projector outside tonight. Watching Pulp Fiction, followed by the Kill Bill movies.

It’s a Tent & Quarantino marathon.

Since lockdown began, I've started making home movies...

You could say I've became a regular Tentin Quarantino.

What do the movies “Titanic” and “The Sixth Sense” have in common?

Icy dead people.

What's the ideal set up to watch acclaimed movies while stuck at home from Corona?

A Tent in Quarantino

I don’t like 2D movies

They always seem to lack depth

What are the similarities between alien movies and school?

They are usually shot in America.

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