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Images Jokes

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I remember when bandwidth was so bad, your porn was limited to downloading compressed folders of images over modems.

Sigh... * unzips *


Note: if this joke hasn't been made before, y'all are slacking. ;)

I was searching Google Images for Rorschach tests.

But all I found were pictures of my parents fighting.

You have to be an adult to see Theodore, the guy who takes the medical images at the hospital.

After all, he's x-ray Ted.

My friend sent me a link to download the images from the James Webb Telescope.

I told him I would download them, but I don’t have space on my phone.

What's the most important thing when googling Gary Oldman images?

- The 'r'...

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I was watching the news this morning when the presenter said..

"A man has been arrested after half a million indecent images of children were found at his home in Bradford. Our reporter Gary O'Donoghue has more."

Gary, you filthy bastard.

Before and After images could also be called

New Look, Same Great Taste

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made a website full of sexy images of Archduke Ferdinand. It's called...

OnlyFranz

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's a good thing technology can't unblur images and video

Because if it could, Japanese porn stars would clearly be fucked

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I found an archived file of pornographic images today.

*unzips*

My grandfather died and I inherited some of his clothes.

He was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens.

For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens o...

If robots can’t identify stop signs or traffic lights in captcha images...

maybe self-driving cars are a bad idea.

If you search "pig" on Google Images, every image has the same file type.

They're all .jpigs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tumblr is using a special program just to remove any images of anal sex

It's a debugger

I need someone good with photography to brighten all my images for me.

Hoping you'll do it for the exposure.

Sometimes when I'm bored I'll convert vector images into bitmaps

But I really should stop procrasternating.

I googled Gary Oldman for some info, I was met with some heavily graphic images

My bad, I forgot the 'r'.

I once tried looking for images of Gary Oldman on Google

I had quite a shock when I realised I had forgotten the 'r' in Gary

If you spend enough time on Instagram or Reddit or reels…

… eventually you will see images of scantily clad older women and even some men, asking your opinion of them. This is not good, there comes a time when less is not better. UNLESS, you can profit from it. For example, in my case I found that walking around naked in my backyard has produced tall pri...

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I want to make a Russian coffee table book based on sex positions using cross stitch images. I will call it...

The commie suture.

Two Urologists were discussing the results of a scan...

"These images look very similar, but if you you look closely you can see there's a vas deferens."

what makes us really humans?

Selecting all images with traffic lights

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today I took a dick pic

Thought of sharing that pic on Reddit, unfortunately Reddit doesn't support small resolution images.

A cannibal was in the examination room, waiting for the results of his x-ray.

When the images were ready, a doctor entered the room and flipped the switch on the light box. He took one look and said, "I think you swallowed a foreign object."

The cannibal did not like the sounds of that. In fact, he was insulted. He stood up and started walking toward the door. When he ...

Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks...

Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went by loaded with rolls of sod. "I'm going to do that when I win the lottery," announced Blonde #1. "Do what?" asked Blonde #2.
"Send my lawn out to be mowed!"

[Sod](http://stoneproscanada.ca/images/sod%20bundle.jpg)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marriage

The child was a typical four-year-old girl -- cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny.

When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help.

One page after another, he pointed out...

I started a business that takes stock photos of food

I call it Spaghetti images

"Being a doctor, and being married to you..." said my wife. "..it feels like I'm living two lives."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"In one life there's medicine, scarring images and long, painful hours," she replied. "And in the other life I'm a doctor."

I thought I was losing my eyesight while scrolling Reddit in the middle of the night.

Apparently there are a lot of blurry images if you're sorted by New in All at 3 in the am.

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