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I made a website full of sexy images of Archduke Ferdinand. It's called...

OnlyFranz

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Today I took a dick pic

Thought of sharing that pic on Reddit, unfortunately Reddit doesn't support small resolution images.

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I remember when bandwidth was so bad, your porn was limited to downloading compressed folders of images over modems.

Sigh... * unzips *


Note: if this joke hasn't been made before, y'all are slacking. ;)

"Being a doctor, and being married to you..." said my wife. "..it feels like I'm living two lives."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"In one life there's medicine, scarring images and long, painful hours," she replied. "And in the other life I'm a doctor."

I searched Google images for examples of Rorschach tests...

But all I found were pictures of my dad hitting me.

Just Googled “Gary Oldman” and some pretty disturbing images came up…

Then I realised I’d left the “R” out.

I started a business that takes stock photos of food

I call it Spaghetti images

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It's a good thing technology can't unblur images and video

Because if it could, Japanese porn stars would clearly be fucked

If robots can’t identify stop signs or traffic lights in captcha images...

maybe self-driving cars are a bad idea.

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Tumblr is using a special program just to remove any images of anal sex

It's a debugger

If you search "pig" on Google Images, every image has the same file type.

They're all .jpigs.

My grandfather died and I inherited some of his clothes.

He was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens.

For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens o...

A famous car designer...

A famous car designer was about to retire at the age of 64 due to health concerns. For all his life, he had strived for perfection in his craft of designing cars, specifically for Kia. In each of his 32 models, he was instrumental in some innovation or vastly improved function.

He called for ...

I thought I was losing my eyesight while scrolling Reddit in the middle of the night.

Apparently there are a lot of blurry images if you're sorted by New in All at 3 in the am.

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Bob, an accountant





was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day on the ocean fishing.


His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger-side floor.


He was late getting home and was speeding... Wouldn't you know that a...

I need someone good with photography to brighten all my images for me.

Hoping you'll do it for the exposure.

I googled Gary Oldman for some info, I was met with some heavily graphic images

My bad, I forgot the 'r'.

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I found an archived file of pornographic images today.

*unzips*

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I want to make a Russian coffee table book based on sex positions using cross stitch images. I will call it...

The commie suture.

Why aren't digital images of Bob Marley scalable?

Because they're all rasta graphics.

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I was watching the news this morning when the presenter said..

"A man has been arrested after half a million indecent images of children were found at his home in Bradford. Our reporter Gary O'Donoghue has more."

Gary, you filthy bastard.

Sometimes when I'm bored I'll convert vector images into bitmaps

But I really should stop procrasternating.

I once tried looking for images of Gary Oldman on Google

I had quite a shock when I realised I had forgotten the 'r' in Gary

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