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There's a little known legend about the Brothers Grimm: they wanted to write a story to rival The Ugly Duckling. For 'research' purposes, they bought a hundred ducks and released them into a cave..

..planning to return years later to document their behavior. Unfortunately both passed away before that, and the project was forgotten.


This information came to light hundreds of years later in 2>!XXX!<, during an investigation into strange quacking noises and numerous missing p...

Did you see the new youtube channel that's non stop footage of gorillas opening bananas?

It's super ape peeling.

Shocked to discover my masseur sold the rights to footage of our sessions.

I’m told it will be a neck-fix exclusive.

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I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...

Is there nothing on the internet that I won’t masturbate to?

What do you call Data that stores footage from a live music performance?

A Gig-abyte

TIL that while little is known about the Tiananmen Square "Tank Man," many eyewitnesses claim that he was actually run over shortly after the famous footage was taken. Indeed, the Mandarin nickname for this folk hero is "The Lobster"...

...because he was a crushed Asian.

After Peter Jackson’s successful launch of World War 1 documentary They Will Not Grow, George Lucas has announced he is making a documentary of World War 2 with remastered footage.

Spoiler: France invades first.

There was a video caught on camera of a man who actually ate 4 of his toes

Needless to say, it was very shaky Footage.

On a hot, windless day the president was out touring a new wind farm. Frustrated by the lack of good video footage, the president knocks on the base of a turbine and asks, “Why won’t this thing spin for me?”

“Oh, its not a huge fan.” The developer explained.

I took a video of my shoe yesterday.

It was some pretty good footage

A comment following the video of two different camera views of the guy falling off that drone motorcycle thing reminded me of this oldie but goodie: a guy walks into a bar....

....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...

A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t t...

I saw leaked footage of Finding Dory yesterday

Bruce the shark is now called Caitlyn.

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered.

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.

It is through this entrance that they find a secret passageway, one that is made at...

Did you hear about the blonde woman who has three hours of footage of raw chicken on her iPhone?

The cooking instructions said remove sleeve and film.

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I recently filmed my wife wanking me off with her toes...

Got some decent footage.

Three Idiot Detectives

Three idiots were training to become detectives. Their superior decided to test them by having them catch an escaped criminal.

He showed the first idiot a picture of the criminal and asked, “How would you catch this man?”

“That’s easy,” said the first idiot. “He’s only got one eye, so...

Video

Did a video of my hubby playing the piano with his toes... Great footage...

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A man very sadly died recently after breaking into a brewery and falling into a vat of beer

However, the police are treating his death as suspicious as the CCTV footage shows him getting out 3 times to take a piss.

What do you call a video of someone's feet?

Footage

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Sex is like a video game for me.

I usually just watch gameplay footage of it but never actually play it myself.

A man was studying to be a filmmaker...

Since he was big live music fan, he started hitting up his favorite local bands and offering to do behind-the-scenes documentary sessions as promotional materials. He got a few bites and after shooting a few small acts, his work really took off, developing a reputation for the way he seemed to disap...

The Detroit Lions have almost assembled a team to win the Super Bowl...

All that’s missing is a great quarterback. A scout has been looking everywhere for someone good enough, but cheap enough to keep them under the salary cap.

The scout, after a long day of searching, comes home defeated. He slumps down into his chair and decides to watch the news.

As h...

What does a Chicago police officer and a professional skateboarder have in common?

They both shred footage.



(*be gentle, it's my first time.*)

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Mister Mxyzptlk robs a bank.

It's a really high profile case, so the chief is all over the lead detective, calling him every few minutes for updates. The detective reviews the security footage and recognizes Mister Mxyzptlk. Not three seconds later the phone rings.

"Detective! I've got the mayor all over my ass on this o...

I clicked on an NFL greatest hits compilation

Unfortunately it was mostly just security camera footage of their girlfriends

The Browns' New QB

The head coach of the Browns is looking for a new QB when he sees news footage of a man in Afghanistan.

This man is fighting the Taliban and in the space of a few seconds, the coach sees him burst through a wooden barricade, knock down 10 armed soldiers, run 100 yards in 10 seconds, pick up a...

A Whodunnit Riddle

A woman is discovered dead in an alley, beaten to death with apparent force. The police found three likely suspects: a local Asian cook, who was single, a Russian construction worker, who had a family of five, and a frail Thai woman, who had one son, and divorced her husband because of the victim....

My local beauty shop was broken into last night.

CCTV footage shows a suspect moonwalking out carrying a large amount of moisturising cream.

The officer at the scene told the shop owner "You've been struck by, a smooth criminal".

A blonde and a redhead are sitting in a bar

and on TV is news footage of a guy threatening to jump off of a building. The redhead says "Hundred bucks says he jumps." The blonde says "You're on!" and they precede to watch. After about 2 or 3 minutes of crying, the man jumps off of the building. The blonde reaches into her purse and grabs the m...

Great Deal at the Grocery Store

Bill is a man in his forties and he gathered his old fraternity brothers together for a weekend to play some poke, reminisce about old times and complain about their lives. Particularly, Bill had marital troubles, and was explaining his worries that his wife was cheating on him.
One of the guy...

It is the year 2066.

Scientists in the space colony on Mars are testing the feasibility of using animals to navigate the natural landscape. They decide to send a cat in a spacesuit with a radio collar and a camera to roam around.

After a day, they notice the radio collar hasn't been moving in several hours. The s...

Robert died...

He was working on the local brewery and fell inside the beer tank, drowning. It is believed he didn't suffer as footage shows him leaving the tank twice to take a leak.

To anyone who says white people can't jump...

You obviously haven't seen footage of 9/11.

A wife is at home watching the news.

On the TV she sees footage of a crazy man driving the wrong way on the freeway. She realizes her husband takes the same path home from work. She immediately calls him and warns him of the danger. She says, "Be careful! There's a crazy man driving on the wrong side of the freeway!"


The hus...

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