UPJOKE
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With the crisis in Northern California one could argue PG&E is utilizing its talents.

They are pulling a total power move.

In our fight against garbage and overflowing landfills, I feel like we're under-utilizing our...

...active volcanoes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

/u/Anal_Explorer on utilizing your large penis in the dating game.

>I prefer to keep it as a surprise, like flashing a stack of 100 dollar bills in my wallet. One minute we're talking about her jet ski vacation she got that awesome tan on, then BAM! Dick on the table. Before she can react, zipper it back up and pretend like nothing happened.


>Repea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two pot dealers are granted probation under the condition that they save as many people from smoking pot as possible within one week by utilizing only a pen and a piece of paper...

After one week they are standing in front of the judge again and are asked for their results.

The first stands up and says that he has saved 100 people from their habit by drawing a big circle and a small circle on the paper.

“How could that affect someone that much that he quits smoki...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is suffering from the worst headaches...

From about age 14, a man has been getting more and more intense headaches. They started mildly annoying, but have been consistently getting worse month after month, year after year.

Finally, after about 7 years of troublesome headaches turning into bothersome headaches, turning into debilita...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a ton of people go in for a job interview and the final two prospects are...[racist?][dirty]

...a Harvard grad, and a Polak.

Leaning toward no particular preference, the hiring manager decides to put them to a test. "You both have 30 minutes to write a poem," he says. "But the catch, is that it has to end in Timbuktu. The best poem gets the job." Both men accept the instructions and ...

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