What does the umpire say when he uses the bathroom?

Urine... you’re out!

What do you say when someone who's Double Jointed uses their gift to win a boxing match?

Weird flex but K.O.

What did Communists use to light their houses before candles?

Electricity

What does Thanos use to season his food?

He uses the thyme stone

Why did the guy who never uses punctuation go to prison for a long time?

Because he had a long sentence.

What do you call a witch who uses illegal spells?

A hex offender.

Why do walruses use Tupperware?

They love a tight seal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asks her students to use the word “beautiful” twice in a sentence...

Little Sandy’s hand shoots into the air immediately.

“Go ahead, Sandy.”

“My mother bought a beautiful new dress, and she looks beautiful when she wears it.”

“Very good, Sandy!”

Sandy beams. At that moment another hand is raised in the back of the room. It’s that of Little...

What happens when a cop uses a taser?

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