Why do people in Alabama not do the reverse cowgirl?

Because you never turn your back on family

A 5th grader from Alabama and a 5th grader from Boston got into a fight, who won?

5th grader from Alabama, because he's 18 yrs old

I don't understand time zones!

How is it possible that in Europe it is today.
In Australia it is tomorrow.
And in Alabama it is 1890?

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How can ya tell a girl in Alabama is still a virgin ?



She can out run her brother.

How's a tornado in a bad neighborhood like an Alabama divorce?

Either way, someone's loosing a trailer.

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What do you call perspiration from sex in Alabama?

Relative humidity.

Why is everything so cheap in Alabama?

Because they get a family discount.

What do yeast and people from Alabama have in common?

Both are in bread.

How do you circumcise a guy from Alabama?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

Alabama is so progressive that

the women don't even change their last names when they get married

CSI Alabama was a failure . . .

. . . all of the DNA is too similar and there are no dental records.

Where was the toothbrush invented?

Alabama.

If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.

Alabama is the best place to be from!

Since it means you currently aren’t there.

What did the average student at The University of Alabama get on their SAT test?

Drool.....

Solving a crime in Alabama must be so hard

Everyone has the same damn DNA

How do you make Alabama-style chicken?

Cook it over a dumpster fire and then serve it face down in a pool of its own blood.

Why did the Alabama native NOT cross the street?

Why cross the street when you can cross the hall?

...customer asked for Alabama Style Chicken Sandwich!

**Waitress:** ...in bread?

**Customer:** ... I'm not from around here!

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NSFW An Alabama girl comes home...

An Alabama girl comes home from college after dropping out. Her dad answers the door and asks her, “what the hell are you doing here?” She answers that she dropped out of college and wants to become a prostitute, and needs a place to stay. He shouts, “No way in hell are you becoming a prostitute! Th...

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What is sex called in Alabama?

Super smash bros

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What do you call a Alabama girl who can run faster then her brothers

A virgin

[Credits: papa franku]

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How does the Autocorrect of an Alabama man word it when the man wants to demonstrate his happiness about something?

Fucking Niece

A friend and I were travelling through Alabama when a guy threatened to get his Dad, Uncle and Brother to beat us up.

We were relieved when we found out they were all the same person.

Just saw an article about brain eating amoebas becoming a potential problem in Texas (true). I remember this happened about 10 years ago in Alabama and the outcome was terrible.

Poor amoebas nearly starved to death!

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After the abortion ban in Alabama yesterday, my girlfriend is too scared to even have sex with me

Too bad my other sister isn't helping out either.

What did the cannibal say while eating an Alabama man sandwich?

"I like my people inbread."

I recently found out that wheat in Alabama

is actually in-bread

What did the Alabama sheriff say about the African-American man found shot six times in the back?

"Worst case o' suicide I ever done seen!"

What do you call a DNA test in Alabama?

Incestry DNA

All these jokes about Alabama but no one acknowledges their contributions, like inventing the toothbrush

At least I think it was Alabama. Anywhere else they’d have called it a teethbrush.

Everyone wants to write jokes about Alabama

But no one in Alabama will ever read them.

How do family members connect with each other in Alabama?

Tinder

So McDonalds now have ‘The Alabama Chicken’

Even the chicken is inbred

What do you call an orgy in Alabama?

A family reunion.

Say what you want about Alabama...

But they really came into their own.

Why don't people from Alabama like to leave their state?

Because it's their incestral home

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What do you do when you're from Alabama and you have to choose someone to have sex with?

Pic related.

Did you hear about the manned rocket that crashed shortly after launching from Alabama?

All the system warnings went off, but for some reason the pilot could not abort.

The irony struck the Alabama woman as she lay dying on a stretcher after walking miles in flip flops to get to the unlicensed rural abortion clinic and was asked how she felt after the procedure.

“Mah fetus killin’ me!”

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My sister and I went home to Alabama for mothers day to visit and we were out shopping for a gift for mom when a guy walks by and slaps my sister in the ass. I reacted quick and gave him the ol' one two.

Because no one slaps my girls ass but me.

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People need to stop making fun of Alabama

They're 50th in education, they cant read that shit

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How is called a woman from Alabama that can outrun all of her siblings?

A virgin.

I’m a little jealous of everyone in Alabama.

They only have to go to one family reunion.

Stop writing hateful things about Alabama and the abortion laws all over social media.

They likely can't read, we will need to tell them in person.

A doctor told a girl from Alabama that she was pregnant.

She said, "Doc, I've been sleeping around so much, I'm not sure it's mine."

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Some people think the Alabama abortion law is too strict...

On the bright side, it's a great way to encourage men to practice safe sex when they fuck their daughters.

Edit : one word

Alabama sucks so bad that they had to force people to be born there!

Alabama sucks so bad that they had to force people to be born there.

Somewhere in Alabama

Daughter : ‘ Hey dad I’m pregnant.’
Dad : ‘ Hey pregnant I’m dad.’
Daughter : ‘ Yes you are.’

So I drove to Alabama and there was a welcome sign

It said:

Welcome to Alabama and remember,

you can't spell cousin without sin.

Enjoy your stay!

Why did O.J. Simpson want to flee to Alabama?

Everybody there shares the same DNA.

(Mandatory ba dum tss).

There was a waiter in Alabama who asked a table for their order

The waiter says “what do you and your girlfriend want to eat tonight”.
The man replies “oh she’s my sister”
The waiter tells him he’s really sorry for assuming they were a couple but the man says “it’s fine, you weren’t that far off, she’s my wife too"

Why is Alabama against abortion?

What happens to a family, stays in the family.

Whats a violinist from Alabamas favorite scale to play?

Whats a violinist from Alabamas favorite scale to play?



A relative minor

Wanna know why Alabama is so weird and twisted?

Because it's in their incestors blood.

Did you know? In Alabama...

It's legal to sleep with your teacher? Only if you're homeschooled though.

What does a philosopher from Alabama say when asked about his dating life?

It’s all relative

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WHat's the difference between a Sicilian mafioso and a man from Alabama ?

The Sicicilian mafioso doesn't live long enough to fuck his family a second time.

What a time to be alive in Alabama

The crush of my life told me she loves me like a brother

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Apparently, the state of Mississippi and Alabama tried to put on a nativity scene, but they had to call it off.

They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

A bus driver in 1955 Alabama everyday hears his passenger complainging. Whites complain there are too many black seats in the back, Blacks complain there are too many white seats in the front.

So one day, the bus driver is fed up with it. He stands up and angrily shouts to his passengers :

\- Now that's enough ! Enough with that constant bickering about white, about black ! From now on, there is no more black or white ! There's only blue ! You're ALL blue ! Understood ?

The ...

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How does a Mom from Alabama know her daughter has started menstruating?

When her son's dick tastes like blood.

The Indian pledge starts as "All Indians are my brothers and sisters."

Funny how India and Alabama have so much in common.

Why can't the pregnant women in Alabama ask for a refund on their package?

Because there will always be a delivery.

What's an informal relationship from Alabama?

Twins with benefits

The Alabama legislature didn’t include an exemption for cases of incest in their abortion ban.

They knew that if they had the law would only have prohibited 5% of Alabama pregnancies from being aborted.

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How do you name your child in Alabama?

Putyour Dickinson.

A guy and his crush.

A guy and his crush are in a car driving together when he stops the car and turns towards her. The girl asks " what are you doing" the guy goes, "I love you, I've always loved you, would you please be my girlfriend" the girl replies, "I'm sorry, your a great guy but I just don't feel the same way. Y...

A good old Alabama boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing

He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, "What you gonna do with that?
There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here."
He says, "I won it and I'm a gonna keep it."
His brother came over to visit several days later.
He sees the wife and asks wher...

Whats the difference between a teenager and a teenager from Alabama?

The Alabaman teen’s “Home Movies” file actually mean “Home Movies”

Unpopular opinion: People criticizing Alabama's new abortion laws are ignorant and intolerant

It's a family matter for them, after all.

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