What's Indiana Jones least favorite band?

The Rolling Stones

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, and Nathan Drake walk into an ancient temple that has been lost for centuries.

They blow it up.

Why does no major gaming company make an Indiana Jones game?

Because no one would pay 60$ for an Indie game.

What did one Indiana resident say to the other Indiana resident at the BDSM convention?

Hoosier daddy

Nancy Pelosi, Mike Pence and Donald Trump died and went to heaven.

St Peter greeted the three of them at the Pearly Gates.

"Ah, my friends, you arrived just in time for our new programme." St Peter proclaimed. "You get to go back to Earth and for one month as anything you want. Then you come back here to proceed to your eternal reward."

"I want to be ...

I met a Texas Aggie the other day that had ridden a stick horse all the way up to Indiana.

"That must've been a long journey, " I said to him.

"You're telling me," he answered, "it feels like I walked all the way."

Why is Indiana Jones sad?

Because his career is in ruins.

David's life was at a low point.

Seeing no way out, he walked out on a bridge, intending to end it all by leaping off. A woman, driving by in her car, sees David hesitating unsteadily on the wrong side of the railing and realizes what's going on. She stops her car and dashes over, hoping to talk him out of suicide.

"Wait!" s...

Indiana Jones: "I present the Ark of the Covenant, sacred crypt of the Ten Commandments."

Rick from Pawn Stars: "Best I can do is 25 bucks."

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons...

If they acquire my parent’s divorce, they will own my entire childhood...

That priest from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was actually a really inspirational guy.

He touched so many hearts.

What do they call bananas from India?

Indianas. :)

Tickets for the Indiana State Philharmonic went up dramatically after they doubled the width of the stage.

You didn't think that the ISP would give out twice the band width for free did you?

Why can't Indiana Jones find a long lasting relationship?

Bad dates.

What does a dominatrix and Indiana Jones have in common?

They both ride on top of subs.

Does Indiana Jones like foreplay?

No, he just whips it out.

Abortion humor everybody: Texas (and Indiana) tried to pass law that said miscarriages/abortions had to have burials. Listen to what that plan sounds like:

Flush.

They are opening a hardware store in Indiana where they will only employ people who have had a difficult childhood being raised in either domestic abuse or foster houses.

It will be called the Broken Home Depot.

I went to the Space and Air Museum in Indiana...

I paid $20 just to see an empty warehouse.

Where did Prince Charles go on his honeymoon?

indiana

What's the difference between Indiana and Reddit?

In Reddit, you get served no matter who you are.

The state of Indiana has just announced that it will begin forcibly ejecting the poor from its borders.

An official was quoted as saying, "We cannot accept their kind. Beggars can't be [Hoosiers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoosier)."

When my wife left me I was in a terrible state.

Indiana.

Topical Jokes for 10/9

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

In Indiana, a pizza delivery man received a $1,200 tip from college students. College officials applauded the act of charity, until they realized the “pizza” was just a box with $1,200 dollars worth of weed in it.

T...

Royal wedding

Where did Prince Charles spend his honeymoon? Indiana!

(Aye, it's an old one, but the search facility makes me think it's never been made reddit previous, so I post it for the education & betterment of the younguns.)

Nervous about flying

I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it
didn't help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering.

I mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll tak...

American, Indian and Russian go to hell...

An American, an Indian and a Russian got to hell after they died and were met by the Devil with a huge whip (twice as big as Indiana Jones had). So Devil met them and said...

-"I give everyone one chance to go to heaven, all you have to do is withstand three lashes from my whip, also you can ...

Why is Chicago called the Windy City?

Because Indiana sucks and Wisconsin blows

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