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Indiana Jokes

What is Indiana Jones' least favorite band?

Rolling Stones.

Do you know why Indiana Jones never got married?

Bad dates

What's the saddest thing about Indiana Jones with dementia?

He can't find his hat.

How do you ask someone from Indiana who is their father?

Hoosier daddy?

How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Indiana?

Because if it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush.

(Hoosier here)

Why is Indiana Jones sad?

Because his career is in ruins.

What kind of beer does Indiana Jones drink to reinforce his courage?

A Rolling Rock!

Why aren’t there any hobos from Indiana?

Because beggars can’t be Hoosiers.

Thanksgiving in Indiana.

When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving.

But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog.

Only kidding. It was the cat!...

Why didn't Indiana Jones have a Nokia phone?

Because he was too afraid of the Snake game.

Today my girlfriend told me that I’m Indiana Jones, so I told her…

Well in that case, that makes you Diana Jones

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Indiana Jones hate drag queens?

They're booby traps

What did one Indiana resident say to the other Indiana resident at the BDSM convention?

Hoosier daddy

Who do you call when there's a crime happening in Indiana?

The Indanapolis

What is Fozzie Bear’s favorite place to visit in Indiana (USA)?

Misha-waka waka

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Indiana Jones was a kid he had a collection of model trucks.

He loved those trucks and he and the neighbour's kid would spend hours playing with them on a special table that was used only for Indy's trucks. They would set up elaborate dioramas on the 'truck table', adding to the displays whenever Indy came into possession of a new truck.

Fast forward a...

Mike Pence has postponed a scheduled campaign stop in Indiana

In other words he changed his schedule on the fly.

Why can't Indiana Jones find a long lasting relationship?

Bad dates.

The college basketball team at Indiana University had just finished their worst season in school history.

The head coach, Bob, knew the team needed a different approach next year.

In the off season, Bob was driving around town when he saw a panhandler at a stoplight, and realized that this panhandler was around college age, and looked close to 7 feet tall. Bob stopped his car to talk to him and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man owned a small farm in Indiana

.

The Indiana State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the agent.

' Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's bee...

Does Indiana Jones like foreplay?

No, he just whips it out.

Indiana Legislature Passes Bill Banning Panhandling; Anyone Caught Will Be Deported Out Of The State

When asked for comment, the bill's sponsor said, "beggars can't be Hoosiers."

What's the difference between Indiana and Reddit?

In Reddit, you get served no matter who you are.

My son is playing with the newly assembled LEGO truck after playing "Lego Indiana Jones" for a bit.

In the course of playing, he says "I'm driving to Indiana Jonestown!"

To which I replied "Well once you get there, don't drink the Kool-Aid, Junior"

I went to the Space and Air Museum in Indiana...

I paid $20 just to see an empty warehouse.

Indiana Jones: "I present the Ark of the Covenant, sacred crypt of the Ten Commandments."

Rick from Pawn Stars: "Best I can do is 25 bucks."

What does a dominatrix and Indiana Jones have in common?

They both ride on top of subs.

That priest from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was actually a really inspirational guy.

He touched so many hearts.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, and Nathan Drake walk into an ancient temple that has been lost for centuries.

They blow it up.

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons...

If they acquire my parent’s divorce, they will own my entire childhood...

What's the best part about living in Indiana?

All the corny jokes.

I'm starting a business in Indiana; we do paternity tests and private investigations.

It's called "Hoosier Daddy and What Does He Do?"

Heard this joke from my niece today

Niece: “have you heard of the book where the red fern grows?”
Me: “yeah It’s a great book why?
Niece: “have you heard of the indiana version they made?”
Me: “no what is it?”
Niece: “it’s called where the yellow corn grows”.

I met a Texas Aggie the other day that had ridden a stick horse all the way up to Indiana.

"That must've been a long journey, " I said to him.

"You're telling me," he answered, "it feels like I walked all the way."

Tickets for the Indiana State Philharmonic went up dramatically after they doubled the width of the stage.

You didn't think that the ISP would give out twice the band width for free did you?

Where did Prince Charles go on his first honeymoon?

Indiana

The state of Indiana has just announced that it will begin forcibly ejecting the poor from its borders.

An official was quoted as saying, "We cannot accept their kind. Beggars can't be [Hoosiers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoosier)."

Since we’re doing Readers Digest…

This is a true story, and one that my dad submitted and had published in RD back in the early 80s. It takes place in the early 60s. I’m typing it here from memory.

“My friend and I were driving between 2 rural Indiana towns during a winter blizzard when we ran out of gas. With only $5 to our ...

What do you call a skeleton in a fedora?

Indiana Bones.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was having sex with my girlfriend, Diana, when my roommate Jones entered the room

"I'm indiana jones! Get out!"

Royal wedding

Where did Prince Charles spend his honeymoon? Indiana!

(Aye, it's an old one, but the search facility makes me think it's never been made reddit previous, so I post it for the education & betterment of the younguns.)

A New Yorker Asks for a Cab Ride to Chicago

A man gets in a cab at 33rd St. and Park Ave. and says, "I need to get to the Palmer House."

The cabbie says, "The Palmer House Hotel?"

The man says, "Yeah."

The cabbie says, "That's on Wabash in Chicago."

The man says, "Yeah."

The cabbie says, "I'm not gonna drive...

Abortion humor everybody: Texas (and Indiana) tried to pass law that said miscarriages/abortions had to have burials. Listen to what that plan sounds like:

Flush.

A man DIES

He died tragically and unexpectedly in a botched robbery. Devastated, his wife Cindy mourned four several months, leaving the house only to pick up groceries that her doting mother leaves on her doorstep.

The only comfort to her grief was his cat, who is similarly distraught. After several mo...

They are opening a hardware store in Indiana where they will only employ people who have had a difficult childhood being raised in either domestic abuse or foster houses.

It will be called the Broken Home Depot.

What do they call bananas from India?

Indianas. :)

When my wife left me I was in a terrible state.

Indiana.

Nervous about flying

I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it
didn't help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering.

I mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll tak...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Not mine but still funny

A Michigan State trooper pulled a car over on US 23 about 2 miles north of the Michigan/Indiana State line.

When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Ft. Wayne , IN to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't w...

American, Indian and Russian go to hell...

An American, an Indian and a Russian got to hell after they died and were met by the Devil with a huge whip (twice as big as Indiana Jones had). So Devil met them and said...

-"I give everyone one chance to go to heaven, all you have to do is withstand three lashes from my whip, also you can ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bad E-mail Addresses

Many colleges and business's tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and last initial to either the beginning or end to make up an E-Mail address. For example, Mary L. Ferguson = mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the problems that may happen when...

David's life was at a low point.

Seeing no way out, he walked out on a bridge, intending to end it all by leaping off. A woman, driving by in her car, sees David hesitating unsteadily on the wrong side of the railing and realizes what's going on. She stops her car and dashes over, hoping to talk him out of suicide.

"Wait!" s...

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