UPJOKE
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A land surveyor is redrawing the state lines in Rural Western Maine…

He happens upon an isolated farmhouse with a bunch of signs that say things like “Maine Pride” , “Parking for Mainers Only” and “Welcome to Maine Now Leave!” However he discovers that there has actually been a zoning mistake and the house is located just over the line in Vermont. He nervously knoc...

Why you taking your girl to Maine this summer?

I'm going to Bangor.

What’s the difference between Canada and Maine?

In Canada Moosehead is a beer and in Maine it’s a misdemeanor.

Are there several ways to abbreviate Maine?

Or is it just me

I couldn’t follow the storyline of Stephen King’s “It”

Too many Maine characters.

Why were Missouri and Maine admitted as states at the same time?

Because Missouri loves company.

Which US State is the most self absorbed?

Maine. It's always so "ME ME ME".

A distress call comes in to Pierre at the Maine coast guard: "mayday mayday. We're 12 miles out on a capsized boat."

"no can do" Pierre said, "We've got all we can do searching for regular-sized boats."

TIL that in the 1820 Missouri Compromise, Missouri wasn't able to become a state unless Maine was also granted statehood.

As it turns out, Missouri loves company.

Where do New England gamers spend most of their playtime?

The Maine menu.

My girlfriend lives in Portland, she’s my Maine hoe

But I got a girl in Boise who’s my Sidaho

People from Maine are so self-centered

All their T-Shirts and mugs say "I ❤️ ME"!

My girlfriend fell off a fishing boat just off the coast of Maine and was devoured by a giant shellfish.

You might say a New England clam chowed her.

Our sailing trip in Maine was going great...

until we were capsized by Augusta wind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

From deep in Maine, two woodpeckers are sitting in a tree

and are casually talking about the sweetest trees they've had the pleasure to peck. Looking around, their attention focuses on one specific tree in front of them...

"Man, that's one fine looking beech." The first one said.

"No way, that's just a dope ass birch." The other replied.
<...

My grandpa's favorite joke

Two guys are driving from Kansas to Maine and they drive by a sign for Worcester, MA. They both look at eachother and say, 'how the hell do you pronounce that?" The driver says "War-chester", the passanger says, "Nah, its gotta be "wir-ster". They argue a bit and decide that the only way to know for...

I always find the plots of Stephen King novels easy to follow.

There’s always a Maine character.

Do you know you can't hang a man with a wooden leg in Maine?

You have to use a rope.

What do you call a Mexican that lives in Maine

An L.L.Beaner

Manyard Begley, a wealthy patent lawyer, had a lovely summer house in rural maine.

Manyard Begley, a wealthy patent lawyer, had a lovely summer house in rural maine. Each year, he invited a different friend to spend a week or two with him.

One year, he decided to invite a friend from the Czech Republic. The two friends had an amazing time together, rising early and going h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blind man walks into a lumberyard and asks for a job.

The manager looks at him and says, "what job could I possibly give you that you could do?"

The blind man says, "I can identify any wood by smell."

So, the manager decides to test him. He holds up a board up under the blind man's nose. The blind man takes one whiff and says, "Cherry. D...

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