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Maine Jokes

I couldn’t follow the storyline of Stephen King’s “It”

Too many Maine characters.

A state surveyor visits a Maine farm.

He tells the old farmer that it's been discovered that his farm may actually be in New Hampshire, and not Maine. After several days of surveying, checking and rechecking, the surveyor tells the old farmer "Yep, I was right, your farm is in New Hampshire, not Maine."
"Good thing," says the old far...

Does anyone else have trouble remembering whether the postal abbreviation for Maine is ma, mi or mn?

Or is it just me?

A joke I came up with that I told people in a dream this morning...

A ship belonging to a seafood company from Italy accidentally drops tons upon tons of live lobsters overboard off the coast of Maine. Upon hearing this news, a lobster-catcher from Maine down on his luck jumps on his boat to catch as many of the lobsters as he can and sell them before the Italian co...

What’s the difference between Canada and Maine?

In Canada Moosehead is a beer and in Maine it’s a misdemeanor.

A little joke from my family's dinner table.

My family was talking a few weeks ago, and somehow I brought up the fact that every state in New England has a town or city in it called "Warren". I said that there's a Warren, Vermont, a Warren, Maine, a Warren, Rhode Island.

And my brother chimed in "There's also a Warren Ukraine!"

...

Why you taking your girl to Maine this summer?

I'm going to Bangor.

Are there several ways to abbreviate Maine?

Or is it just me

A land surveyor is redrawing the state lines in Rural Western Maine…

He happens upon an isolated farmhouse with a bunch of signs that say things like “Maine Pride” , “Parking for Mainers Only” and “Welcome to Maine Now Leave!” However he discovers that there has actually been a zoning mistake and the house is located just over the line in Vermont. He nervously knoc...

People from Maine are so self-centered

All their T-Shirts and mugs say "I ❤️ ME"!

Why were Missouri and Maine admitted as states at the same time?

Because Missouri loves company.

I Summer in Maine and Winter in Florida...

...and sometimes I fall in bars.

Our sailing trip in Maine was going great...

until we were capsized by Augusta wind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

From deep in Maine, two woodpeckers are sitting in a tree

and are casually talking about the sweetest trees they've had the pleasure to peck. Looking around, their attention focuses on one specific tree in front of them...

"Man, that's one fine looking beech." The first one said.

"No way, that's just a dope ass birch." The other replied.
<...

My girlfriend lives in Portland, she’s my Maine hoe

But I got a girl in Boise who’s my Sidaho

What's the difference between a northern Maine woman and a moose?

'bout 50 pounds and a flannel shirt

TIL that in the 1820 Missouri Compromise, Missouri wasn't able to become a state unless Maine was also granted statehood.

As it turns out, Missouri loves company.

My grandpa's favorite joke

Two guys are driving from Kansas to Maine and they drive by a sign for Worcester, MA. They both look at eachother and say, 'how the hell do you pronounce that?" The driver says "War-chester", the passanger says, "Nah, its gotta be "wir-ster". They argue a bit and decide that the only way to know for...

My girlfriend fell off a fishing boat just off the coast of Maine and was devoured by a giant shellfish.

You might say a New England clam chowed her.

Which US State is the most self absorbed?

Maine. It's always so "ME ME ME".

Where do New England gamers spend most of their playtime?

The Maine menu.

What do you call a Mexican that lives in Maine

An L.L.Beaner

A distress call comes in to Pierre at the Maine coast guard: "mayday mayday. We're 12 miles out on a capsized boat."

"no can do" Pierre said, "We've got all we can do searching for regular-sized boats."

Do you know you can't hang a man with a wooden leg in Maine?

You have to use a rope.

Manyard Begley, a wealthy patent lawyer, had a lovely summer house in rural maine.

Manyard Begley, a wealthy patent lawyer, had a lovely summer house in rural maine. Each year, he invited a different friend to spend a week or two with him.

One year, he decided to invite a friend from the Czech Republic. The two friends had an amazing time together, rising early and going h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] Not my joke, heard it at work today.

A hunter was hunting ducks up in Maine. He had successfully bagged 3 beautiful ducks, threw them in his canoe, and started paddling down the river. When he got back to his campsite, a game warden was there waiting for him.

Warden: "Well it seems like you got lucky today. Why don't you hand o...

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