I always find the plots of Stephen King novels easy to follow.

There’s always a Maine character.

Why you taking your girl to Maine this summer?

I'm going to Bangor.

Brent and Todd at the water cooler Monday morning.

Brent: What did you do this weekend?

Todd: I took the wife on a trip up to Maine.

Brent: Bangor?

Todd: No, we just talked.

What’s the difference between Canada and Maine?

In Canada Moosehead is a beer and in Maine it’s a misdemeanor.

Another Traveling Salesman Joke

Back at the beginning of 1930, there was a traveling salesman who vowed to sell his product in every state in the country. He started in Maine and worked his way across all the northern states. He was so good at selling that he never had to pay for a hotel room. He always could talk people into putt...

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A blind man walks into a lumberyard and asks for a job.

The manager looks at him and says, "what job could I possibly give you that you could do?"

The blind man says, "I can identify any wood by smell."

So, the manager decides to test him. He holds up a board up under the blind man's nose. The blind man takes one whiff and says, "Cherry. D...

A distress call comes in to Pierre at the Maine coast guard: "mayday mayday. We're 12 miles out on a capsized boat."

"no can do" Pierre said, "We've got all we can do searching for regular-sized boats."

I couldn’t follow the storyline of Stephen King’s “It”

Too many Maine characters.

Are there several ways to abbreviate Maine?

Or is it just me

My grandpa's favorite joke

Two guys are driving from Kansas to Maine and they drive by a sign for Worcester, MA. They both look at eachother and say, 'how the hell do you pronounce that?" The driver says "War-chester", the passanger says, "Nah, its gotta be "wir-ster". They argue a bit and decide that the only way to know for...

My girlfriend lives in Portland, she’s my Maine hoe

But I got a girl in Boise who’s my Sidaho

A Canadian cop is watching the bar after last call (Long)

Recently, during a routine patrol, an RCMP patrolman parked down the street, outside a Legion Hall just off the main Street at Dauphin, Manitoba.

After last call, the officer observed a man leaving the Legion Hall. The gentleman was so intoxicated that he could barely walk. He then stumbled a...

Why were Missouri and Maine admitted as states at the same time?

Because Missouri loves company.

What's the difference between a northern Maine woman and a moose?

'bout 50 pounds and a flannel shirt

People from Maine are so self-centered

All their T-Shirts and mugs say "I ❤️ ME"!

My girlfriend fell off a fishing boat just off the coast of Maine and was devoured by a giant shellfish.

You might say a New England clam chowed her.

I don’t care where states are located

If Oklahoma was right next to Maine that would be ok by me.

Our sailing trip in Maine was going great...

until we were capsized by Augusta wind.

What’s a Lion’s favorite state to live in?

Maine.

Do you know you can't hang a man with a wooden leg in Maine?

You have to use a rope.

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From deep in Maine, two woodpeckers are sitting in a tree

and are casually talking about the sweetest trees they've had the pleasure to peck. Looking around, their attention focuses on one specific tree in front of them...

"Man, that's one fine looking beech." The first one said.

"No way, that's just a dope ass birch." The other replied.
<...

What do you call a Mexican that lives in Maine

An L.L.Beaner

Manyard Begley, a wealthy patent lawyer, had a lovely summer house in rural maine.

Manyard Begley, a wealthy patent lawyer, had a lovely summer house in rural maine. Each year, he invited a different friend to spend a week or two with him.

One year, he decided to invite a friend from the Czech Republic. The two friends had an amazing time together, rising early and going h...

Every time I read a Stephen King novel, I get really confused.

Too many Maine characters.

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