Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently...

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from avian flu. A bird pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely not av...

Who stole the heart of Massachusetts?

Nan took it. (Nantucket). Joke written by my 11 year old son.

In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.

The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has ...

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A man meets a woman at a bar and tells her he went to M.I.T

"I graduated in two years" he said as he ordered her a drink. "Now I have a good job."

She was very impressed, but slightly confused. "How did you graduate within two years? I thought most people need at least four?"

"Oh, I'm not that dumb" he said as the drinks arrived. She thought no...

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What do you call it when you have sex and climax in a Massachusetts girl?

Boston Creme Pie

What do they call a banana hammock on the beaches of Massachusetts?

A Cape Cod Piece

Elementary school students are learning about the 13 colonies

Teacher: Massachusetts is in New England

Student: what’s new England?

England: *walks in* nothin much what’s new with you

An old Vermonter who lives right on the Massachusetts boundary has his land surveyed...

After the survey was complete and the new map was made, it turned out that he had been living in Massachusetts all this time.



"Good" said the old man. "I can't take any more of those Vermont winters!"

Some scientists were trying to figure out why crows were dying in Massachusetts

A team of scientists from MIT saw a statistic that said 80 percent of crow deaths in the state were because the crow had been hit by a truck. They decided to investigate why that was, and the results were pretty interesting. Crows often eat roadkill, so it wasn’t surprising that they were getting ki...

What do you call a grandma drag queen from Massachusetts?

A Nantucket.

Surveys show people from Massachusetts go camping more than any other state.

Their destination usually includes one of Connecticut's many passing lanes.

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology:

"And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement...

I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving.

When brought before the judge, I was asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was. I said, "I don't know... reelection to the Senate?"

If a Church Congregation from Massachusetts goes on a Bus Ride

It would be Mass Mass Mass Transit

The Bee Joke

Once, there was a bee who lived in a very complex bee hive. All the bees residing in this hive lived very happily with their own tasks and aspirations. However, this particular bee, named Bart, was quite special. He was an incredibly intelligent bee who matured and learned far faster than his bee pe...

I went to M.I.T

I tell women I went to M.I.T. and said I did it in 2 years. They ask "you went to Massachusetts Institute of Technology" and I say no. Mississippi institute of trucking. It was a 1 year course but took me 2 years.

Jose Baez / Aaron Hernandez home

What did the state Supreme Court of Massachusetts and the NFL both say to Aaron Hernandez’s defense attorney?



“No Way, Jose!”

Three men are waiting in the hospital for their kids to be born...

...The first nurse comes in and says to the first man "Congratulations! You're the father of twins!" The first man replies "What a coincidence, I work at Twin Massachusetts!"

A few minutes pass when a second nurse comes up to the second father and says "Congratulations! You're the father of t...

What state would expect to see a priest pray, sneeze and sit down

Massachusetts

The Tates Watch Company

Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses.



The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. ...

Guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar in Alabama and the bartender asks, “What can I get you sir?”
Man says, “White wine”.
Everyone in the bar overheard and gives him a stern look, bartender then proceeds to ask, “You’re not from around here are ya?”
Man: Nope from Massachusetts’s
Bartender: Well wh...

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If you're from Virginia, you're a Virginian. If you're from New York, you're a New Yorker. If you're from Texas, you're a Texan.

And if you're from Massachusetts, you're a Democrat.

Five Elderly Ladies

Another chain letter my mother sent...

Hiding on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Massachusetts State Trooper sees a car puttering along at 24 mph. He thinks to himself, "This driver is as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over....

Zoology: On the feeding behaviour of birds.

I read an article a few years ago about the Massachusetts highway department getting an increased number of complaints about dead crows by the highways.

The state consulted behavioural experts, and performed autopsies of some of the dead birds and determined that they were scavenging by the r...

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normally don't like longer jokes but, this is funny

A US Navy cruiser was anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.

The first evening in port, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy, influential plantation owner (who also happened to be a very generous political donor). It read:

"Dear Ca...

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Three buddies from high school take a trip to Mexico...

Each of the men has spent their lives productively, and are each at the top of their respective fields, and they've kept in touch over the years. They decide that, to celebrate their twentieth high school graduation anniversary, they're going to go down to Mexico City together and generally live it ...

A man decides he wants to try the Boston seafood specialty of scrod

A businessman arriving in Boston for a convention found that his first evening was free, and he decided to go find a good seafood restaurant that served scrod, a Massachusetts specialty. Getting into a taxi, he asked the cab driver, "Do you know where I can get scrod around here?" "Sure," said the c...

Crows in Boston are dying

The city of Boston has a problem with crows. They are dying by the thousands and the roadways are littered with the carcasses. The problem is only getting worse. Massachusetts' Dept. of Environmental Protection just completed a study of the problem. The crows are being killed when they are struck by...

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My dad's 5:30 AM sense of humor

My ex-gf was over the house, and we were waking up early to go down to massachusetts early one thursday morning (we live in NH).


We never would wake up early so her being up and moving at 530 surprised him.


As she comes out of the bathroom he asks " What are you two doing up s...

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