Don’t know why used car salesmen get such a bad rap.

Mine knocked 20 bucks off the muffler tax just because he liked my face!

Used Car

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
'Heavens no, we bought i...

Cardi B has a sister that sells used cars

Her name is Cardi Lership

What's the difference between a used car salesman and a computer salesman?

A used car salesman knows when he's lying.

I bought an old used car, and I think it is from RE:ZERO

It is a Subaru that keeps dying all the time...

A guy looking in the classified for a used car...

sees a new Corvette listed for $50. Thinking it's a misprint, he decides to go check it out anyway. Arriving at the sellers residence, it's a dream car, not a scratch on it and it runs great.

"Ma'am, I want to buy this car. But the paper said it was only $50, what do you really want fo...

What does a pimp have in common with a used car salesman?

They both tricked me out of money with a passable tranny.

A drummer needed a car, but only had $200

A drummer desperately needed a car, any car, to get to work, but he only had $200. He called his friend who owned a used car lot and explained the situation.

“You’re in luck,” the friend told the drummer. “I’ve got a brand new Jaguar. Runs great. Looks great. For you, only $200. One small pr...

A C-130 was being deployed from Peterson AFB, Colorado

An hour into the flight, the plane began losing altitude. Acting quickly, the pilot decided it was necessary to airdrop items to be tracked down later in order to reach the nearest airport.

First to go was the Base Commander's new Humvee. Next was a large crate of MREs. Finally, a crate of t...

It's Judgment Day and three married men are sent to heaven

Three friends are standing in line waiting to be judged: Jim, Billy and Kevin.



Forward comes Jim and God tells him: "Jim, you've been loyal to your wife and never cheated". God gives Jim a brand new sports car and tells him to drive to heaven and off goes Jim.



Next com...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes up for work, and in the shower he hears a voice in his head

"Sell everything you own, fly to Las Vegas" the voice says.

The man is confused, but shrugs it off and assumes he just imagined it. He gets out of the shower and brushes his teeth. After he gets dressed, he heads into the kitchen to make a quick breakfast. As he's looking in the fridge, he he...

3 friends die and go to heaven...

Three friends are on a road trip and crash a die. At the gates of St. Peter the first on is called up by St. Peter. St. Peter tell the first friend, John, "You cheated on your wife 12 times?" John admits this. "John is then handed keys to a Honda." John asks Peter what they keys are for and he repli...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four guys were golfing when one gets a phone call and walks away

The other three guys start talking about how successful their sons have been. The first guy explains how his son started as an entry level stock broker, but now owns his own wealth management firm. The last time he got a friend a gift, he gave him a half-million dollar investment portfolio. The s...

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