UPJOKE
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Used Car Jokes

I went shopping for a used car.

I found a very nice 1967 Camaro. The paint was clean, it started beautifully. When I opened the door there was a disgusting dead cat on the floor. I was ready to walk away from the deal, but the owner agreed to replace the carpet.

I went to the used car dealer and bought the only thing I could afford, the Rolls-Canardly

It rolls down one hill and canardly make it up the next.

Used Car

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
'Heavens no, we bought i...

Inflation in the USA is so high at this point that...…

\- I recieved a predeclined credit card in the mail.
\- CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
\- Exxon-Mobil fired 25 Congressmen.
\- McDonald's is selling the amazing 1/4 ouncer.
\- Angelina Jolie adopted a kid from the US.
\- Moms and Dad's in Beverly Hills let go of ...

Cardi B has a sister that sells used cars

Her name is Cardi Lership

Don’t know why used car salesmen get such a bad rap.

Mine knocked 20 bucks off the muffler tax just because he liked my face!

What's the difference between a used car salesman and a computer salesman?

A used car salesman knows when he's lying.

A guy looking in the classified for a used car...

sees a new Corvette listed for $50. Thinking it's a misprint, he decides to go check it out anyway. Arriving at the sellers residence, it's a dream car, not a scratch on it and it runs great.

"Ma'am, I want to buy this car. But the paper said it was only $50, what do you really want fo...

I bought an old used car, and I think it is from RE:ZERO

It is a Subaru that keeps dying all the time...

Teenagers in Houston can look forward to the used car sales in a few months.

The market is going to be flooded.

What's the difference between a condom and a car?

There's a big market for used cars.

A drummer needed a car, but only had $200

A drummer desperately needed a car, any car, to get to work, but he only had $200. He called his friend who owned a used car lot and explained the situation.

“You’re in luck,” the friend told the drummer. “I’ve got a brand new Jaguar. Runs great. Looks great. For you, only $200. One small pr...

A man goes to Heaven and meets Jesus.

Upon arriving at the pearly gates, Jesus said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. I really think you'll like it here."

Walking through the gates, the man noticed that there were clocks everywhere. It appeared that Heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.

Surprised at how H...

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