Used Car Jokes - 13 Hilarious Used Car Jokes

I went shopping for a used car.

I found a very nice 1967 Camaro. The paint was clean, it started beautifully. When I opened the door there was a disgusting dead cat on the floor. I was ready to walk away from the deal, but the owner agreed to replace the carpet.

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I went to the used car dealer and bought the only thing I could afford, the Rolls-Canardly

It rolls down one hill and canardly make it up the next.

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Used Car

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
'Heavens no, we bought i...

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Inflation in the USA is so high at this point that...…

\- I recieved a predeclined credit card in the mail.
\- CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
\- Exxon-Mobil fired 25 Congressmen.
\- McDonald's is selling the amazing 1/4 ouncer.
\- Angelina Jolie adopted a kid from the US.
\- Moms and Dad's in Beverly Hills let go of ...

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Cardi B has a sister that sells used cars

Her name is Cardi Lership

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Don’t know why used car salesmen get such a bad rap.

Mine knocked 20 bucks off the muffler tax just because he liked my face!

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A guy looking in the classified for a used car...

sees a new Corvette listed for $50. Thinking it's a misprint, he decides to go check it out anyway. Arriving at the sellers residence, it's a dream car, not a scratch on it and it runs great.

"Ma'am, I want to buy this car. But the paper said it was only $50, what do you really want fo...

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What's the difference between a used car salesman and a computer salesman?

A used car salesman knows when he's lying.

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I bought an old used car, and I think it is from RE:ZERO

It is a Subaru that keeps dying all the time...

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Teenagers in Houston can look forward to the used car sales in a few months.

The market is going to be flooded.

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What's the difference between a condom and a car?

There's a big market for used cars.

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A drummer needed a car, but only had $200

A drummer desperately needed a car, any car, to get to work, but he only had $200. He called his friend who owned a used car lot and explained the situation.

“You’re in luck,” the friend told the drummer. “I’ve got a brand new Jaguar. Runs great. Looks great. For you, only $200. One small pr...

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A man goes to Heaven and meets Jesus.

Upon arriving at the pearly gates, Jesus said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. I really think you'll like it here."

Walking through the gates, the man noticed that there were clocks everywhere. It appeared that Heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.

Surprised at how H...

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