Understood Jokes - 79 Hilarious Understood Jokes

In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types.

But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.

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I've never understood how the Nazis couldn't find where Anne Frank was hiding

I've been to Amsterdam... There are signs pointing to her house everywhere.

A joke my Dad told me that I never understood when I was a child.

A man walking along a California beach is deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, Grant me one wish."

The sunny Californian sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish"<...

Twenty years from now, kids are gonna think "Baby it's cold outside" is really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood as a product of its time.

You see, it used to get cold outside

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Understood?

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old ice hockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or loose, but how we play...

I need a few brief jokes to tell to a group of elderly people. The punchlines need to be easily understood, and they need to be clean and not making fun of anyone with any kind of disability. Have any brief and fairly original jokes?

This one is good, although I’ll probably have to emphasize the ‘mispronouncing words’ part, and instead of blonde, the dummy will be me:

*A blonde is flying in a Boeing for the first time. She starts jumping on her seat shouting "Boeing Boeing Boeing".
The pilot, clearly annoyed by this, w...

I never understood what HIV is.

But I got it now.

I have never understood why women love cats.

Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep.

In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

As a lad I never understood threesome.

Why would I want to disappoint 2 ladies at the same time.

I never quite understood why the shortened version of ‘Charles’ is ‘Chuck’.

What the farles is that about?

I haven't understood a single joke since this quarantine started.

They must all be inside jokes.

I never understood school shootings

I guess they are aimed at a younger audience

Haddaway didn't understood the vocabulary used in tennis the first time he saw a match.

He asked "What is love ?"

I don't think that I quite understood 'Show and Tell' when I was at school.

Every time I 'showed' , the girls told.

I never understood why in the game of golf they call it the rough…

And not the foreground

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I've never understood why homophobics wore clothes

because clothes come out of the closet and that's gay

I never understood why people are surprised to hear Elvis died on the toilet.

Historically it's rare for a King to leave the throne alive.

Never understood the point of black friday

Could have sworn we already gave them a whole month

I’ve never understood the idea of invisible planes.

I just can’t see them taking off.

Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?

Doctor : Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went.

One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lio...

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I watched "The Vagina Monologues" on mute but I still understood the plot

I can read lips.

I used to think I understood the Dunning-Kruger effect...

but the more I look into it, the less sure I am.

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I really thought Activision understood that we're sick of modern-day shooters.

And yet in the new Call of Duty they're giving us Nazis to shoot again.

A French woman and a Spanish man had recently gotten married and moved to Spain.

The woman could not speak Spanish so whenever she wanted to buy chicken legs, she would raise her skirt a little and show her thighs which the seller understood.
One day, she wanted to buy bananas so she brought her husband with him.

As her husband could speak Spanish.

I’ve never really understood how jokes work

So one day I told my friends I was going to be doing some comedy. I even got a bouncer and rolled out a red carpet for this big event. I texted everyone I knew. I was so excited for it. However, when my friends showed up and saw me standing at the end of the carpet with boxing gloves on, they turned...

English is weird..

It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

I miss understood a Sleeping Beauty

Ill never be welcome to a funeral again.

I never really understood #notallmen.

Don't women usually like tall men?

I've never understood the Navy's colour being Navy blue.

I though they were the aqua-marines.

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Iv never really understood the point of lapdancing...

I mean, if I wanted someone to sexually frustrate me and take all my money then I'd just stay at home with the wife!

The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged And dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.

The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the N...

I never understood how glass worked

But it's clear to me now.

I never understood fog machines.

They mystify me to this day.

I never understood why people are so scared of snakes

They're completely armless

I finally understood Einstein's theory of relativity.

It was about time.

My physics teacher asked me if I understood the chapter on linear motion.

I said "yeah it's pretty straightforward"

What did the hydroxide ion say when it suddenly understood its purpose in life?

OH-

I never understood how Dr. Frankenstein got overpowered by his monster...

... I mean, the guy was an amazing body builder.

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I never understood why people use peppermint body wash.

It feels like my asshole just smoked a menthol cigarette

I never understood the term "cash cow"..

Sounds like utter non-cents to me.

I never understood people's fanatic attachment to their clothes..

..it's just sew material.

I’ve never really understood silent letters...

The T in Margot,
The U in biscuit,
The P in the Bath.

I have never understood why living in the poor part of town...

...makes your skin darker.

I’ve never understood when someone sticks out their index finger

What’s the point?

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I never understood how Ty Lee joined the Kyoshi warriors at the end of Avatar.

That's like if the United States hired Nazi rocket scientists to work on our space program after WW2 ended.

I never understood why Mark Zuckerberg bought Instagram for $1 billion dollars.

What an idiot. He could’ve just gotten it for free on the App Store.

What's the least understood topic in the world?

Planes
They go over your head fast.

I've never understood picky eaters...

you won't eat a tomato but you'll put someones unwashed genitals in your mouth.

Mom, I'm dating a man.

\-Whom, sweetheart?

\-Dante the mailman.

\-Dante the mailman? But he could be your father!

\-But mom, age is just a number.

\-Sweetheart, I don't think you understood.

I never understood the concept of lunch money

It doesn't taste any different than regular money.

I never understood why being called an Einstein is bad.

It's only relatively insulting.

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I never understood how you got dick from Richard.

Apparently you just get him drunk first.

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I never understood why it was called Lukewarm

Like, why not medium-warm ? Who the fuck is Luke ?

I finally understood the end of the 6th Sense

All those names at the end were people who worked on the movie.

As a college girl, I never understood the whole Sorority thing

It's all Greek to me

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I never understood why soldiers hate digging latrines.

It's not a piss-poor assignment.

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I never understood the expression "for shits and giggles"

Until my girlfriend tickled me when I had the stomach flu

As a young man, I never really understood insanity.

Until I got married.

Student: Can I borrow a pencil?

**Teacher:** I don't know, can you borrow a pencil?

**Student:** Aha, but I clearly meant to ask for permission. Since you and the rest of the class understood my intent perfectly well, and the word "may" to show permission is rapidly falling out of fashion, there is nothing wrong with asking...

Dad's joke: What kind of bee can never be understood?

A mumble-bee

I never understood why people don’t get along with vegans.

I’ve never had a beef with one.

Since my work is reliant on it i might be biased, but i never understood why people say wind power is ineffective

Honestly i'm a big fan

I never understood people who have the confederate flag and the american flag bumper stickers.

It seems like a bad relationship. It's like, "this one is to commemorate my love for Steve! And this one is to commemorate the time I tried to escape from Steve...."

Credit goes to Neal Brennan

I never understood how a grown man could cry at his own wedding.

That was until my father in law prodded me with his shotgun.

I'm full of problems, I wish people understood me.

Said *the math book*

I’ve never understood why so many rich parents buy second hand Ferraris for their spoilt children

Why would you want two things that are twenty years old and don’t work?

I thought I understood the meaning of when pigs fly,

But then the swine flu

I once told a joke about jumping onto a trampoline and nobody understood it.

I was pretty devastated, but it’s ok. I’ll bounce back.

I never understood why white people can’t say the n-word

I mean we’re the ones who invented it after all

I've finally understood the meaning of "politics"

It's derived from "poly", the Greek word for "many", and "tics", a blood sucking parasite.

I never really understood what the "blue screen of death" meant

But when my self driving car had one the name started making a lot more sense

I've never understood why new pencils come unsharpened...

Seems pretty pointless to me.

I never understood what was so good about having a threesome...

If I wanted to disappoint two people at once, I could just go have dinner with my parents.

My Chinese friend from Wuhan emailed us a joke about how Covid-19 began, but nobody understood.

I guess you had to be there to get it.

I eventually understood USB Type C design...

And now, I can't really see any downside in it

I asked my ex if she understood why she was so odd.

She said she can't even.

I once told story about pregnancy that nobody understood except for my twin sister

It was our little inside joke

What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages.

Please tell us what languages they are in.

Jehovah is showing Ra around Heaven one day...

... when a man runs up to them, crosses himself, then spreads his arms and closes his eyes.

"Excuse me," Jehovah says to Ra, "this will only take a second." He waves his hands, there's a flash of light, and a purring kitten goes scampering away from where the man had been.

"Other than ...

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