Why don't people sympathise when your books drop to the floor?

Because you only have your shelf to blame

I can sympathise with batteries.

I am never included in anything either

Why did the French people at the feeding of the 5000 sympathise with Jesus?

Because they shared his pain.

To be fair Theresa May warned of a coalition of chaos propped up by extremist terrorist sympathisers

She just didn't say she'd be leading it

Arthur is 75 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 15 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn’t see where it went.”

His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try.”

“That’s no good,” sighs Arthur, “your brother is 85. He can’t help.”

“He may be 85,” says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.”

So th...

What’s the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist?

Terrorists have sympathisers.

Frank's wife goes missing

Frank's wife goes missing and a week later he bumps into his friend Larry on the street. "Frank! How are you? You look a little worse for wear. Any news on your wife?"

"Hi Larry, I'm alright. They said I should be prepared for the worst."

"Oh god that's awful!" Larry sympathises.
...

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