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Suffers Jokes

Vladimir Putin suffers a heart attack amidst the Ukraine crisis, and falls into a coma...

... A few years later, he wakes up, gets back on his feet and walks out of his room, right past the sleeping guard.

He walks out of the hospital onto the streets of Moscow, and finds that most people don't recognize him. Several years of vegetative coma seem to have taken its toll on his appe...

My mum suffers with short term memory loss

Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too

"My wife suffers from a drinking problem"

"Is she an alcoholic?"

"No I am, but she is the one who suffers"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe suffers from chronic headaches for a long time.

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove t...

What do you call an incredibly insensitive shaman who’s also weak and suffers from chronic bad breath?

A super callous fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.

My dad suffers from seizures...

...so far they've taken his car, his house and his boat

The doctor asked Fred if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

Fred replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it."

My friend told me he suffers from extreme paranoia...

I told him don't worry you're not alone

BREAKING: Stevie Wonder suffers major laceration in horrible accident

The wound too big for regular stitches, doctors were forced to use very super stitches

I'm a man that suffers from PMS.

The wife gets it . . . . . I suffer

A Russian joke my grandmother once told me. I hope it works in English.

A man sits at the deathbed of his mother-in-law.
She suffers very much and cries in agony:
"Oh I'm dying!" "It hurts" "I'm gonna die soon"
She stops for a seconds and says:
"Well at least the weather is nice today"

The man says: "hey dear, don't get distracted!"

My girlfriend constantly suffers from urinary tract infections

I told her she put the uti in cutie.

I'm an insomniac agnostic who suffers from dyslexia.

I stay awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

My mother in law suffers from acute diabetes and hay fever....

I always try to cheer her up with chocolate and flowers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My boyfriend suffers from premature ejaculation.

It's his shortcoming.

A buddy of mine suffers from dyslexia, paranoia and he's agnostic.

He's scared all the time wondering is there is a Dog

Which city suffers from PTSD?

Warsaw.

A young guy suffers from debilitating headaches (slightly long)

After going through many tests over several months the doctor says the only way to cure them is to cut off his balls. After another couple months the pain is so great the patient finally agrees to the operation. A week after the operation the patient is super depressed and asks the doctor what he c...

My dad suffers from bowel incontinence, and so do I ...

It runs in my jeans.

For everyone out there who suffers from paranoia and delusions

You’re NOT alone. There’s someone watching you.

Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat.

While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain.

Jones is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call a cab when he hears a shout from behind the hospital fence, wh...

My friend Jose suffers from panic attacks. He was recently involved in a car accident.

I don't wanna sound racist, but His panic attacks are getting worse.

My mom suffers from short-term memory loss

I hope it's nothing genetic because I'm worried since my mom suffers from short-term memory loss

Russian literature is built on suffering.

Either the character suffers, the author suffers, or the reader suffers. If all three are suffering, then it's considered a Russian masterpiece.

A husband and wife are in the doctor's office

The wife says "doctor, my husband suffers from erectile dysfunction". The husband interjects "well, technically it's her who suffers from it".

My friend suffers from narcolepsy and is really looking forward to Christmas.

Just 214 sleeps to go.

My friend who suffers from bipolar disorder called from the lobby.

He said, "Hey, I'm feeling great today. You want to go do something?"

I said, "Sure! I'll be down in a minute."

He said, "Well, that makes two of us."

A middle aged woman suffers a heart attack...

... and meets God before being revived. He tells her not to worry; she's got at least 40 more years of life ahead of her.

Upon waking from surgery, she decides that with all that time left, and since she's at the hospital anyway, she'll get some cosmetic surgery... a face lift, a nose job, br...

A man suffers from Blepharospasm (constant, uncontrollable winking) in one eye...

he complains to a friend that it gives him the most awful head aches. His friend asks, why don't you just get some aspirin from the pharmacy. He replies, I do, but every time I ask the pharmacist for an aspirin he gives me a packet of condoms.

What type of dog suffers from being inbred?

A hotdog

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