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Mammals Jokes

My uncle sings the praises of some large African mammals but complains non-stop about others.

He’s very hippocritical.

TIL there's a scientific term for aquatic mammals losing their fur through evolution

It's called Whale Pattern Baldness.

What's the similarity between a joke and a small, cute, furry mammal?

They both die when dissected

After the dinosaurs died out, mammals became the dominant life form.

Unlike dinosaurs, which had scales and feathers, mammals are covered in fur.

I guess you could say things got a little bit hairy after the asteroud hit.

A marauding group if small angry marine mammals trashed my house last night.

They left it an otter shambles i tell ya.

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escaped from the zoo?

It was otter chaos

I don't understand aquatic mammals

What's their porpoise

I need your best jokes about mammals. Can you guys help me out?

I need a good, clean, short joke about a mammal. I know this is an odd request, but maybe some of you will enjoy the challenge, or maybe you have some good ones you're just waiting to share. Let me have em.

My girlfriend convinced me that certain aquatic mammals don't exist right before she broke up with me.

She left me in otter disbelief.

What happens when you turn flying mammals into hotdogs?

Things go from bat to wurst

Your lifes like a zoo with no aquatic mammals

Cuz it has no porpoise

You know, camping gear for sea mammals is really versatile.

It works for all in tents and porpoises.

I developed a game where you feed avocados to small subterranean mammals!

It's called Guacamole!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The man who loved marine mammals

There was a marine biologist, named Dr. Panglos, who loved marine mammals. (When I say he loved marine mammals though, I’m not talking about having sex with dolphins; he just loved to study them). He spent his time trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea. One day, in a fit of inv...

I am starting a sanctuary for oversized marine mammals.

It's called Habitat for Huge Manatees.

I work for a company who specialises in vacuum packed marine mammals.

We're famous for our airtight seal.

Some sea mammals sleep with half their brain in deep sleep and the other half wide awake

This was developed as an evolutionary mechanism for survival, but biologists have documented a similar mechanism in workers at the DMV

A man decides to put his life savings into opening an aquarium...

A young man took every penny he had and used it to open an aquarium. He worked tirelessly, growing it from a small roadside attraction into the greatest aquarium ever. Over a lifetime, he amassed the largest collection of sea life ever assembled. He and his team conducted scientific research and ran...

There were two odd conferences at the same hotel at the same time. One was for camping, the other was for aquatic mammals. They were essentially, more or less, basically, virtually...

...for all in tents and porpoises

In 1959, the Florida panhandle was hit with a devastating hurricane...

In 1959, the Florida panhandle was hit with a devastating hurricane. Many of the buildings and homes in Destin were damaged. The "Gulfarium", which had opened a few years earlier, was largely undamaged. Their diesel generators were meant for the numerous fish and marine mammals, but could easily han...

Do I use over elaborate sentences?

Do Ursine mammals defecate in Circumpolar Arboreal Forest Regions?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The animal without teeth [OC]

A middle-aged teacher found that he was tired of teaching his 1st grade class, so he played a little game with them.

"If any of you can name a mammal without teeth, I'll let you take the day off."

This stumped the 1st grade class. Try as hard as they could, they couldn't think of a mam...

A student is preparing for a vet school exam and has left it to the last minute...

With no chance in hell in of passing, he procrastinates by picking a random topic about animals from Wikipedia and starts reading. By the time he's finished (wasting lots of time looking up related articles) it's too late to read about anything else.

In the oral exam the student picks a quest...

April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?

June bugs.

What do June bugs bring? Small grub-eating mammals, wasps, and endoparasitoid pyrgotidae flies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A whale walks into a bar...

The bartender immediately stops the whale as he enters. Holding both hands up, the bartender begins shouting,

"Woah, woah there, whale! What are you doing here?! This is a bar! This is no place for whales!"

The bartender notices this upright whale is wearing a top hat and carrying a S...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man on a date

A guy is sitting at a bar, there's music blasting. Across from him is the most stunning women he's ever seen and she's giving him the eye.
He buys her a drink and comes over.
They seem to be getting on fantastically, and she's so beautiful everyone in the place is jealous.

Suddenly she...

A research group was engaged in a study..

A research group was engaged in a study of longevity in mammals and had recently focused their attention on a particular species of porpoise, which they studied from their floating laboratory off the coast of Baja Mexico. They came to believe that, if fed just the right combination of nutrients, thi...

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