A Hispanic Magician

A Hispanic magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, “Uno, dos - “

He disappeared without a tres.

In an effort to bridge the cultural gap with my Hispanic friends, I’ve been saying “muchos” a lot more recently

It means a lot to them

At a picnic my 5 year old Hispanic son came over to give me a drink..

He fell on the ground and I pointed at his pants and said "mucho grassy ass"

What do you call Hispanic men that are over 65 years old?

Señor citizens.



I’ll see myself out thanks

What do you call a Hispanic man living in Thailand?

Thai Juan

When I’m in front of Hispanic people I say “mucho”

It means a lot to them

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What do hispanic jews celebrate?

Juanukkah

What do you call Hispanic gnomes

Gnombres.

I'll go home now.

I cheerfully exclaimed “el mundo” to my Hispanic neighbor

... it meant the world to her

Hispanic girls can not be a man's peace. Its literally in their name.

(His)(panic)

What do you call a physicist that’s 1/4 Hispanic?

Ohm slice

What sound does a Hispanic catgirl makes?

Ña

How many Hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just Juan.

Why did the Hispanic man die after taking three pills?

Because it was over-dos!

Where do Hispanic cats go when they die?

Purrgato

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks!

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What do you call a short Mexican researcher in Antarctica?

A Burrito

First joke I've ever come up with. My Hispanic wife laughed her butt off.

I hear the new Star was movie will include a Hispanic Jedi Knight.

I can't wait to see Obi Juan Kenobi make his first on-screen appearance.

A South American man has died due to stress over COVID-19.

Nobody could control Hispanic.

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The Policeman & The Hispanic

It’s around the holiday season and Bob the policeman is scheduled to work. He decides to set up a speed trap at his favorite roadway in Arkansas.

It’s been a few hours and Bob hasn’t seen a single driver. Just then, suddenly a pickup truck flies past him doing well over double the speed limit...

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Why did the latino man go to the therapist?

To talk about hispanic attacks.

[Original] I asked my dyslexic Hispanic friend the fastest way to Las Vegas, and he pointed in the right direction. "Gracias", I said.

"Ne vada"

I just watched a guy purchase a piñata, some paella and a sombrero at the supermarket.

I thought to myself... Hispanic buying.

What do you call a Hispanic and a Priest fighting?

Alien vs. Predator

A Brazilian man in Mexico doesn't know why the U.S. deported him there.

Can you imagine Hispanic?

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I'm a Hispanic man and started a family with my Japanese wife.

The kids names are Mikasa and Tsukasa, we're gonna stop visiting my folks for a while because they always laugh at them.

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After years of trying a Chinese couple, the Wong's, finally get pregnant. With much anticipation Mrs. Wong delivers a beautiful Hispanic baby boy..

Mr. Wong names him Sum Ting.

I've just got back from Tesco...

I've just got back from Tesco and I've seen a guy buying four crates of San Miguel, five paella’s and three sombreros and I thought to myself...


...Hispanic buying

What’s a Mexicans favorite band?

Hispanic at the Disco!

My Hispanic friend in the Navy is allergic to tofu

He’s a no soy marinero

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A fugitive is on the run and dips into a taqueria

He looks around the room and the only other patron is a Hispanic fellow with tats and a bandanna so he figures that the coast is clear and this is a good place to hide out for a while. The fugitive goes up to order some food when out of nowhere he gets tackled to the floor by the other patron! "Who ...

What do you call a shy Hispanic man at a cowboy themed party?

A Mexican stand off.

Did you know Donald Trump started taking Xanax because of the border wall?

He was afraid of Hispanic attacks.

[OC] A Hispanic man died from fear

I don't think Hispanicing anymore.

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A Hispanic carpenter is feeling depressed

After living a life of always reading other people's directions and instructions to do his job, he decides he wants to to make his *own* decision for once: Committing suicide.

So he scribbles down some words on a piece of paper and reviews what he wrote, nodding in approval. He hops into his...

Hispanic and black jokes are really all the same...

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Two Hispanic guys are having a private conversation

A little Juan on Juan.

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What do you call a homosexual Hispanic living in the United States? (NSFW)

Amaricon

How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest.

Alien vs predator

A hispanic magician was performing a magic trick

The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!

Why could there never be more than one Hispanic guy in a Highlander movie?

Because there can be only Juan.

What do you call an Hispanic that's reached their level cap?

A Maxican.

Whats the difference between a hispanic and a book.

The book has papers.

A Hispanic photon walks into a bar

No mas

There is a Hispanic train conductor going around committing horrible crimes..

No one knows why, but it's clear he has a loco motive.

What do you call a Hispanic without a car?

Carloss

Why did a Hispanic man rob a train?

He had loco motives!

I don't always seduce hispanic Star Trek fans...

but when I do, I prefer dos Trekkies

Nova seems to be a pretty popular Hispanic surname...

For me, since I speak English, that name would be a no-go

I need a joke in to tell my Hispanic manager!

I tried telling my boss a corny joke but he said he didn't get it because it was too 'American'(his words not mine). So i told him I'd find a joke in Spanish and try telling him it. I want to make my boss laugh so help me out guys! So if you know any work friendly jokes in Spanish post them here ...

Hispanic Magician

So a Mexican magician stands up in front of his audience and tells them, "Ok hombres, on the count of three, I'm gonna make myself disappear! Uno, dos..." POOF! He disappeared without a tres.

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A Hispanic man, a European man, and an Asian man are put on a deserted island

They are told that they will be rescued in 24 hours, provided they have proved their survival skills.
The Hispanic man is in charge of building a shelter, the European man is in charge of finding food, and the Asian man is in charge of finding supplies.
The three men go their separate ways to ...

A hispanic man with a rubber toe

His name...was Roberto

An Asian guy, Hispanic guy, white guy, black guy and their pilot are on a plane...

Suddenly the plane loses control and the pilot says, "If three people jump off, the rest can survive.
The Asian guy goes "This is for my people" and jumps off.
The Hispanic guy goes "This is for my people" and jumps off.
The black guy goes "This is for my people", and kicks the white guy o...

Never play with this guy...

A Hispanic guy always tries to play Call of Duty. His friends keep telling him he really shouldn't, his anger gets the best of him.
He logs on one day, and is doing really well. His team keeps winning, and then out of nowhere he's killed. He rage-quits, and comes back after a few days to play aga...

Why are Hispanic dwarves called Paragraphs?

They're too short to be called Essays.

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Hispanic Joke

Three kids are in school...

A white, a black, and a hispanic kid. The teacher tells them to make a sentence with the words liver and cheese.

White kid says: "My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich and it was sooo good."
Black kid says: "Pops told mom to go get the Governmen...

So a Hispanic man walks into a bar...

He sees an old cigarette machine and decides to buy a pack. He puts in his change and the machine flashes the words, DIME, DIME, DIME. He looks around and whispers to the machine, Malboro.

Why do Hispanic performance reviews take so long?

They spend too much time on their GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALSSSS

Working on a new type of martial arts that involves taking money from Hispanics..

called TakeJuan'sDough.

What do you call an Hispanic gentleman who drives a hybrid car?

A green bean.

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A Hispanic, African-American, Jewish, Native American, and Asian man were walking down the street.

They were part of a parade that celebrated racial equality.

Did you hear about the hispanic that's been stealing all the trains?

I heard he has some loco motives. (Locomotives)

cat race

There was a cat race

The cats were

1. one two three, an American cat
2. uno dos tres, A Spanish cat
3. une deux trois, A French cat

The three cats were in a water race, whoever gets to the end of the lake first, wins. the results came in and...

The American cat c...

Twins

A lady had 2 twin boys and her and her husband decided to put them up for adoption.
The woman made it clear to the people adopting that she wanted a picture every year on their birthday.
Well one kid got adopted by a Hispanic family and they named him Juan.
The other was adopted by a black...

Some say Trump is mentally unfit after declaring a national emergency?

However, it's all due to Hispanic attacks.

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