UPJOKE
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What do you call a Hispanic and a Priest fighting?

Alien vs. Predator

What do you call Hispanic men that are over 65 years old?

Señor citizens.



I’ll see myself out thanks

What do you call a hispanic person that lost his car?

Carlos

In an effort to bridge the cultural gap with my Hispanic friends, I’ve been saying “muchos” a lot more recently

It means a lot to them

I keep hearing about this great new MCU show featuring what I can only assume are Hispanic superheroes...

but I can't seem to find this *Juan Division* on any streaming service.

My daughter ran off with some Hispanic guy...

She says he's her Juan and only...

What do you call Hispanic gnomes

Gnombres.

I'll go home now.

why did elementary school kids ask their Hispanic janitor about Chinese currency?

Because it takes Juan to know Yuan!

Why did the Mexican man need Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks.

A few years ago, I saw a Hispanic magician

My favorite trick was at end, when he said he would dissappear at the count of three.

And he started counting "Uno...."

"Dos.... "

And poof, he was gone. Without a Tres.

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What do hispanic jews celebrate?

Juanukkah

What do you call an Hispanic, an Asian, and an African American who walk into a bar?

By their names you racist pricks!!

Why did the mexican start taking anti anxiety meds?

He was taking them for hispanic attacks

What did the hispanic firefighter name his two son's?

Jose and hose b

When I’m in front of Hispanic people I say “mucho”

It means a lot to them

I cheerfully exclaimed “el mundo” to my Hispanic neighbor

... it meant the world to her

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The Policeman & The Hispanic

It’s around the holiday season and Bob the policeman is scheduled to work. He decides to set up a speed trap at his favorite roadway in Arkansas.

It’s been a few hours and Bob hasn’t seen a single driver. Just then, suddenly a pickup truck flies past him doing well over double the speed limit...

Why did the Hispanic man keep purchasing trains?

I'm not quite sure myself honestly but he has to have some sort of locomotive.

What do hispanics call their elderly?

Senor Citizens.

Why did the Hispanic man die after taking three pills?

Because it was over-dos!

How many Hispanics does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?

Just Juan.

What do call a Hispanic fella that ran out of protein powder?

No-whey Jose.

My friends and I started an emo salsa band

We call ourselves HisPanic at the Disco

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There's a Hispanic porn star who has two penises, each of a different size. The larger one he calls Jose...

The smaller one he calls Hose B.

A hispanic magician was performing a magic trick

The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!

Where do Hispanic cats go when they die?

Purrgato

What do you call a shy Hispanic man at a cowboy themed party?

A Mexican stand off.

What’s a hispanic’s most reliable car?

A Mazda

What do you call a physicist that’s 1/4 Hispanic?

Ohm slice

What do you call a Hispanic man living in Thailand?

Thai Juan

Hispanic girls can not be a man's peace. Its literally in their name.

(His)(panic)

What sound does a Hispanic catgirl makes?

Ña

[Original] I asked my dyslexic Hispanic friend the fastest way to Las Vegas, and he pointed in the right direction. "Gracias", I said.

"Ne vada"

How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest.

Alien vs predator

I hear the new Star was movie will include a Hispanic Jedi Knight.

I can't wait to see Obi Juan Kenobi make his first on-screen appearance.

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A Hispanic carpenter is feeling depressed

After living a life of always reading other people's directions and instructions to do his job, he decides he wants to to make his *own* decision for once: Committing suicide.

So he scribbles down some words on a piece of paper and reviews what he wrote, nodding in approval. He hops into his...

With lockdown 3 nearly upon us...

I saw a guy with 12 cases of San Miguel, 5 Paellas and 7 Sombreros. I think Hispanic buying.

Whats the difference between a hispanic and a book.

The book has papers.

Why did a Hispanic man rob a train?

He had loco motives!

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Hispanic Joke

Three kids are in school...

A white, a black, and a hispanic kid. The teacher tells them to make a sentence with the words liver and cheese.

White kid says: "My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich and it was sooo good."
Black kid says: "Pops told mom to go get the Governmen...

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

Hispanic Attacks

At a picnic my 5 year old Hispanic son came over to give me a drink..

He fell on the ground and I pointed at his pants and said "mucho grassy ass"

Hispanic and black jokes are really all the same...

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Two Hispanic guys are having a private conversation

A little Juan on Juan.

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I'm a Hispanic man and started a family with my Japanese wife.

The kids names are Mikasa and Tsukasa, we're gonna stop visiting my folks for a while because they always laugh at them.

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A Hispanic man, a European man, and an Asian man are put on a deserted island

They are told that they will be rescued in 24 hours, provided they have proved their survival skills.
The Hispanic man is in charge of building a shelter, the European man is in charge of finding food, and the Asian man is in charge of finding supplies.
The three men go their separate ways to ...

There is a Hispanic train conductor going around committing horrible crimes..

No one knows why, but it's clear he has a loco motive.

Working on a new type of martial arts that involves taking money from Hispanics..

called TakeJuan'sDough.

A Hispanic photon walks into a bar

No mas

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What do you call a homosexual Hispanic living in the United States? (NSFW)

Amaricon

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After years of trying a Chinese couple, the Wong's, finally get pregnant. With much anticipation Mrs. Wong delivers a beautiful Hispanic baby boy..

Mr. Wong names him Sum Ting.

Hispanic Magician

So a Mexican magician stands up in front of his audience and tells them, "Ok hombres, on the count of three, I'm gonna make myself disappear! Uno, dos..." POOF! He disappeared without a tres.

Why are Hispanic dwarves called Paragraphs?

They're too short to be called Essays.

What do you call an Hispanic that's reached their level cap?

A Maxican.

A hispanic man with a rubber toe

His name...was Roberto

[OC] A Hispanic man died from fear

I don't think Hispanicing anymore.

I don't always seduce hispanic Star Trek fans...

but when I do, I prefer dos Trekkies

My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication

It's for Hispanic attacks

So a Hispanic man walks into a bar...

He sees an old cigarette machine and decides to buy a pack. He puts in his change and the machine flashes the words, DIME, DIME, DIME. He looks around and whispers to the machine, Malboro.

Why could there never be more than one Hispanic guy in a Highlander movie?

Because there can be only Juan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Hispanic, African-American, Jewish, Native American, and Asian man were walking down the street.

They were part of a parade that celebrated racial equality.

At the Supermarket

Just saw a bloke in the supermarket buying 5 crates of San Miguel, 8 frozen paella and sombrero... I thought to myself Hispanic buying

Why do Hispanic performance reviews take so long?

They spend too much time on their GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALSSSS

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I tried to translate and adapt one of my favorite jokes. Hope it works.

A Mexican gunslinger were hired to kill an old American lady who was deaf in one ear. The man put his two silver revolvers in the holster at his waist, put his bullet belt around his chest, took his lucky sombrero and went to the lady’s house in the United States.



In front of the woma...

Nova seems to be a pretty popular Hispanic surname...

For me, since I speak English, that name would be a no-go

What do you call an Hispanic gentleman who drives a hybrid car?

A green bean.

Did you hear about the hispanic that's been stealing all the trains?

I heard he has some loco motives. (Locomotives)

Why did the Mexican go to the Emergency Room (ER)?

Because of Hispanic attacks

Why did the eligible bachelor get stressed out every time he dated a Latin woman?

Because they are Hispanic.

I need a joke in to tell my Hispanic manager!

I tried telling my boss a corny joke but he said he didn't get it because it was too 'American'(his words not mine). So i told him I'd find a joke in Spanish and try telling him it. I want to make my boss laugh so help me out guys! So if you know any work friendly jokes in Spanish post them here ...

How do hispanics cut a pizza?

Little Caesars

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