UPJOKE
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Hispanic Jokes

What do you call a Hispanic and a Priest fighting?

Alien vs. Predator
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What do you call a hispanic person that lost his car?

Carlos
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In an effort to bridge the cultural gap with my Hispanic friends, I’ve been saying “muchos” a lot more recently

It means a lot to them
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My daughter ran off with some Hispanic guy...

She says he's her Juan and only...
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A few years ago, I saw a Hispanic magician

My favorite trick was at end, when he said he would dissappear at the count of three.

And he started counting "Uno...."

"Dos.... "

And poof, he was gone. Without a Tres.
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What do you call Hispanic men that are over 65 years old?

Señor citizens.



I’ll see myself out thanks
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do hispanic jews celebrate?

Juanukkah

I went up to my Hispanic friend and said “Mucho.”

It means a lot to him.
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What do you call Hispanic gnomes

Gnombres.

I'll go home now.
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My Hispanic friend keep telling me that NASA always have sent chicken propelled rockets to space

Look at all the "Apollo" missions, he say
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why did elementary school kids ask their Hispanic janitor about Chinese currency?

Because it takes Juan to know Yuan!
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What do you call a Hispanic with a vascetomy?

A dry Martinez.
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Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks.
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Why does the american border patrol guard take Xanax?

To stop hispanic attacks.
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I keep hearing about this great new MCU show featuring what I can only assume are Hispanic superheroes...

but I can't seem to find this *Juan Division* on any streaming service.
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Why did the Hispanic man keep purchasing trains?

I'm not quite sure myself honestly but he has to have some sort of locomotive.
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Why is the government so worried about a Hispanic felon who's hard of hearing?

Because that's Deaf-Con Juan.
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A hispanic magician was performing a magic trick

The magician said that he could make himself disappear within 3 seconds! So, he waves his cape in front of his face and says "uno, dos!" and just like that, he disappeared without a tres!
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What do hispanics call their elderly?

Senor Citizens.
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I started an emo salsa band

We're called Hispanic at the Disco
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What did the hispanic firefighter name his two son's?

Jose and hose b
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Policeman & The Hispanic

It’s around the holiday season and Bob the policeman is scheduled to work. He decides to set up a speed trap at his favorite roadway in Arkansas.

It’s been a few hours and Bob hasn’t seen a single driver. Just then, suddenly a pickup truck flies past him doing well over double the speed limit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hispanic Joke

Three kids are in school...

A white, a black, and a hispanic kid. The teacher tells them to make a sentence with the words liver and cheese.

White kid says: "My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich and it was sooo good."
Black kid says: "Pops told mom to go get the Governmen...

How many Hispanics does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?

Just Juan.
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Kid asks his mum if he should bully Hispanics

his mum says no Juan deserves it
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Why did the Hispanic man die after taking three pills?

Because it was over-dos!
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My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication

It's for Hispanic attacks
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Hispanic Magician

So a Mexican magician stands up in front of his audience and tells them, "Ok hombres, on the count of three, I'm gonna make myself disappear! Uno, dos..." POOF! He disappeared without a tres.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Hispanic carpenter is feeling depressed

After living a life of always reading other people's directions and instructions to do his job, he decides he wants to to make his *own* decision for once: Committing suicide.

So he scribbles down some words on a piece of paper and reviews what he wrote, nodding in approval. He hops into his...

I cheerfully exclaimed “el mundo” to my Hispanic neighbor

... it meant the world to her
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Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

Hispanic Attacks
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Why does the Mexican guy take xanax?

For hispanic attacks
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Hispanic and black jokes are really all the same...

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
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A Hispanic photon walks into a bar

No mas
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What do call a Hispanic fella that ran out of protein powder?

No-whey Jose.
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What do you call an Hispanic, an Asian, and an African American who walk into a bar?

By their names you racist pricks!!
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What sound does a Hispanic catgirl makes?

Ña
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Where do Hispanic cats go when they die?

Purrgato
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How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest.

Alien vs predator
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Why did a Hispanic man rob a train?

He had loco motives!
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What did the Hispanic man say when two houses fell on top of him?

Get off me homes.
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What do you call a physicist that’s 1/4 Hispanic?

Ohm slice
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What do you call a Hispanic man living in Thailand?

Thai Juan
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Why are Hispanic dwarves called Paragraphs?

They're too short to be called Essays.
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Whats the difference between a hispanic and a book.

The book has papers.
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My Hispanic friend in the Navy is allergic to tofu

He’s a no soy marinero
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What do you call a shy Hispanic man at a cowboy themed party?

A Mexican stand off.
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What’s a hispanic’s most reliable car?

A Mazda
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Two Hispanic guys are having a private conversation

A little Juan on Juan.
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There is a Hispanic train conductor going around committing horrible crimes..

No one knows why, but it's clear he has a loco motive.
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Hispanic girls can not be a man's peace. Its literally in their name.

(His)(panic)
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Why did the mexican start taking anti anxiety meds?

He was taking them for hispanic attacks
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I don't always seduce hispanic Star Trek fans...

but when I do, I prefer dos Trekkies
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A hispanic man with a rubber toe

His name...was Roberto
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What do you call an Hispanic that's reached their level cap?

A Maxican.
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[OC] A Hispanic man died from fear

I don't think Hispanicing anymore.
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So a Hispanic man walks into a bar...

He sees an old cigarette machine and decides to buy a pack. He puts in his change and the machine flashes the words, DIME, DIME, DIME. He looks around and whispers to the machine, Malboro.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a Hispanic man and started a family with my Japanese wife.

The kids names are Mikasa and Tsukasa, we're gonna stop visiting my folks for a while because they always laugh at them.

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There's a Hispanic porn star who has two penises, each of a different size. The larger one he calls Jose...

The smaller one he calls Hose B.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Hispanic man, a European man, and an Asian man are put on a deserted island

They are told that they will be rescued in 24 hours, provided they have proved their survival skills.
The Hispanic man is in charge of building a shelter, the European man is in charge of finding food, and the Asian man is in charge of finding supplies.
The three men go their separate ways to ...

Nova seems to be a pretty popular Hispanic surname...

For me, since I speak English, that name would be a no-go
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a homosexual Hispanic living in the United States? (NSFW)

Amaricon

A Native American tells his Hispanic friend a joke...

The joke contained multiple references to obscure cultures. A confused Chinese bystander wasn't sure whether it was offensive and racist or a harmless pun. The situation wasn't black and white.
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Why could there never be more than one Hispanic guy in a Highlander movie?

Because there can be only Juan.
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October is ADHD awareness month.

Appropriately enough it is also fire prevention month, breast cancer awareness month, the first couple of weeks are part of Hispanic heritage month and and some other things that I forgot.
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[Original] I asked my dyslexic Hispanic friend the fastest way to Las Vegas, and he pointed in the right direction. "Gracias", I said.

"Ne vada"
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How do hispanics cut a pizza?

Little Caesars
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What do you call an Hispanic gentleman who drives a hybrid car?

A green bean.
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Did you hear about the hispanic that's been stealing all the trains?

I heard he has some loco motives. (Locomotives)
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Working on a new type of martial arts that involves taking money from Hispanics..

called TakeJuan'sDough.
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I need a joke in to tell my Hispanic manager!

I tried telling my boss a corny joke but he said he didn't get it because it was too 'American'(his words not mine). So i told him I'd find a joke in Spanish and try telling him it. I want to make my boss laugh so help me out guys! So if you know any work friendly jokes in Spanish post them here ...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Hispanic, African-American, Jewish, Native American, and Asian man were walking down the street.

They were part of a parade that celebrated racial equality.

At a picnic my 5 year old Hispanic son came over to give me a drink..

He fell on the ground and I pointed at his pants and said "mucho grassy ass"
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