Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the U.S. National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, told the President: "This morning, 3 Brazilians were killed by Covid-19."

Trump's face went egg-shell white with shock. The blood drained from his face; and, to everyone’s amazement, he collapsed on the floor.

Minutes passed, and to everyone’s relief President Trump got up shakily and then sat back on his chair.

His staff was nothing less than stunned at thi...

Omg, the coronavirus has killed 12 Brazilian people!

How many is a brazilian?

A Brazilian man in Mexico doesn't know why the U.S. deported him there.

Can you imagine Hispanic?

A Frenchman, an Argentine, and a Brazilian were publicly drinking in Russia during the 2018 World Cup.

But that is prohibited there, so they were captured by the police and taken to court.



The judge said that as the country was celebrating, they would take only 20 lashes, with the right to have a wish That wasn't be escape the punishment.



The Frenchman was the first, the...

A blond is watching the news and hears that 2 Brazilian men died from Coronavirus.

She cried and asked, "Oh my gosh, how many is a Brazilian?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

CDC: Mr. President, two Brazilian diplomats have tested positive for the coronavirus.

Trump: Holy shit! (pause) How many is a "brazilian"?

Donald Trump responds to news that two Brazilian politicians have tested positive for COVID-19:

*That’s bad news; The worst news; So bad. How many zeros are there in a brazilian?*

An original joke by my 6 year old this evening. What is the largest number in South America?

A Brazilian!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Brunette: Have you ever had sex with a Brazilian?

Blonde: I don't think so. That sounds like a lot. Probably not, but I've come pretty close.

What’s the difference between a French wine and a Brazilian wine?

Not much but the Brazilian has better legs.

My mom: "Who robs a Brazilian Wax store???"

Me: "Maybe the robbers thought they had a brazilian dollars??"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Brazilian and a German sit at a bar. The Brazilian says: “You crushed us 7:1 at the World Cup, let’s not talk about soccer, ok?”

Ger: No problem. So what do you wanna talk about? Sex?

Bra: Yeah sure.

Ger: Man, did we fuck you.

A German, a Frenchman, an Englishman and a Brazilian appreciate the picture of Adam and Eve in Paradise.

German comments:



"Look at what perfection of bodies: she, slender and haired; he, with his athletic body, his profiled muscles. They must be Germans."



Frenchman replies:



"I don't believe it. The eroticism from the figures is evident! She, so feminine, he,...

Did you hear about the Brazilian percussionist who was severely injured in a conga line?

He made a maraca-ulous recovery.



It came to me while in the elevator. I’m sorry.

How many South American’s does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Brazilian.

Never get a Brazilian wax

It's a total rip-off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an American,

An Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, and Austrailian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese...

I told my wife to get a Brazilian

The next day she introduced me to her new friend, Paulo.

There was a man in Sao Paulo who's intestines were shaped like a number 1 from a rare genetic mutation.

Doctors say the chances of this are 1 in a Brazilian!

Jeff Bezos paid a Brazilian arsonist

Desperate to get #AmazonFire trending.

My wife had a cheap Brazilian waxing.

She said it was still a rip-off.

"Mr. President, two Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday in Iraq."

"Oh my God! How many is a Brazilian?"

Donald Trump is having a meeting with his health advisors about the COVID-19 outbreak...

The lead advisor tells him "Mr president, more international people are testing positive in the United States every day. Today alone, 50 Brazilian people have confirmed cases."

"Oh my god, that's awful!", Trump replies, ".....how many is a brazillion?"

Mike Pence walked in to the Oval Office earlier with some bad news for President Trump.

"Mr. President, unfortunately 3 Brazilian tourists in New York have been diagnosed with coronavirus."


"That's terrible!", exclaimed Trump. "What are we going to do?!"


"Wait...how many is a Brazilian again?"

A Brazilian friend told me this joke yesterday

The United Nations decided to conduct a world-wide survey. So they sent a letter to the representatives of each country with the following question: "Please, with all honesty, give your opinion on the scarcity of food in the rest of the world".


The survey was a huge failure. Why? None of ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, an Irishman,...

a Scotsman,a welshman, a Frenchman, a German, an Italian, a Swede, two Finns, a Norwegian, a Dane, a Greenlander, an Austrian, a Hungarian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Latvian, an Estonian, a Russian, a Turk, an Egyptian, a Palestinian, an Israeli, a Greek, a Macedonian, a Chinese guy, a Japanese guy,a ...

What a do a bunch of people in Brazil speak? Portuguese. What does just one Brazilian speak?

Portugoose.

A blonde and her husband are watching the news...

News: A Brazilian man died while skydiving when his parachute didn’t open.

The blonde bursts into tears

Husband (comforting her): I know it’s sad, but people need to know that there’s a risk while skydiving.

Blonde: But that’s a lot of people. How many is a Brazilian?

Did you hear the Bob Ross got a brazilian wax?

Got rid of that happy, little bush.

How would you rate a really ugly Brazilian?

1 out of 7

President Trump was told there were at least 12 Brazilians in the migrant caravan headed to the Southern border...

Mr President turned to his Defense Secretary and whispered: "how much is a brazillion?"

Brazillian

During his daily security briefing this morning, Trump was advised by an aide that three Brazilian peacekeepers had been killed in Iraq the day before.

To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Trump's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whim...

I know a Brazilian joke.

It's kinda long, I'll trim it down.

Brazil has half the number of guns in comparison to the USA but twice the number of deaths by gunshot, you know what that means?

That Brazilians have a great aim.

Neymar, the Brazilian football player, had his first parenting lesson with his new son this morning.

"Right," said the midwife, "what should you do if he starts crying and having a tantrum?"
"Show him a yellow card and tell him to get up off the f*****g floor," replied the baby....

What would the world’s population be if it were only Brazilians?

About 7.7 brazillion

Did you know a Brazilian wax costs $50?

Talk about a rip off

A blond girl turns on the radio and hears that 2 Brazilian men were killed

As she starts to cry she asks "How many is a Brazilian?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A timber recycling centre placed a job ad seeking an experienced timber sorter.

And one morning in walks a guy wearing dark glasses and using a white cane.

"I've come about the timber sorting position", he tells the lady at reception.

She gets her husband, the boss, who takes one look at the guy and says, "No offence pal, but how do you intend to sort timber if y...

Donald Trump was sitting in his office, when suddenly, his Chief Political Advisor burst through the door.

CPA: "Terrible news, sir. Three Brazilian men were killed outside of an embassy in Rio."

Trump: "That is terrible news. We must act immediately. But first, tell me again, how many is a Brazilian?"

"Mr. President, four Brazilian soldiers were killed during our last drone attack. "

"This is yuge, let's get Sean out there to tell everyone how we are making the world great again... wait how many is a Brazilian?"

How did 70 Brazilian people die in a plane crash today...

...if the world only has 7 billion?

What did the Brazilian goose on the balcony say to the squirrel passing by?

I don’t know, I don’t speak porch of geese

A aide comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump

"Sir, three Brazilian solders were killed in Afghanistan last night."
Trump looks absolutely devastated, nobody's ever seen him like this. He sinks back in his chair, saying OMG over and over.

Then he composes himself and says: "Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"

Two blonde girls were having breakfast.

One of them said "Yesterday I slept with two Brazilian guys!"



The other said "Wow, I don't even think I've seen that many guys!"

3 Brazilian

A blonde was listening to the radio when suddenly she heard "3 Brazilian men died in a fatal car accident." The woman then asked, "How much is a Brazilian?"

How many people have died in the Amazon rainforest fire?

About a brazilian.

Brazilian Soldiers

An aide walks into the oval office. George W. Bush is currently president, and the Iraq war is dragging out into a long and grueling occupation. The aide presents the numbers from yesterday to the President.

"Mr. President, yesterday the US coalition forces killed a confirmed 36 insurgents....

The Brazilian ambassador meets with Donald Trump

The Brazilian ambassador meets with Donald Trump, and offers him 50 Brazilian soldiers to help with the fight against terrorism. Trump says, “That’s fantastic!"

Later that day Trump calls his Chief of Staff and tells him about the offer of 50 Brazilian soldiers.

The Chief of Staff says...

A German is talking to a Brazilian

The German says "Want to hear a joke," The Brazilian replies "Sure," "So, why was 6 afraid of 7" "I don't know, why?" "Because 7 won!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very clean joke

A Portuguese, Spaniard, Dane, Finn, Swede, German, French, Italian, Belgian, Austrian, Czech, Polish, Russian, Afgani, Serbian, Brit, Irish, Scot, Sardinian, Corsican, Icelander, Belarian, Romanian, Yugoslavian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Turk, Morrocan, Algerian, Liberian, Sudanese, S. Africa...

A Brazilian got the first gold medal

The police are already after him.

An American, a Mexican, a Chinese,

a German, a Korean, an Australian, a Canadian, a South African, a Brazilian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Dane, an Iraqi, a Singaporean, an Indian, an Egyptian, a Vietnamese, a Nicaraguan and a Brit walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! You can't come in here without a Thai"

Translated Brazilian Joke - A broken car in the desert

** In Brazil it is common making jokes about our colonizers, the Portuguese. I hope they do the same about us in Portugal, so... **

A Portuguese, a Brazilian and an Argentinian are driving through the desert when their car suddenly breaks.
João, the Brazilian suggests each one takes a pie...

What do you call a galaxy full of Brazilians?

The Milky Hue.

ATTN: Brazilian football fans

Don't feel too bad. Your team only lost by a touchdown.

A high ranking military official gives a report to Trump

He says, "sir, I regret to announce that three Brazilian troops have just died in combat."

Trump was stunned. He gathered himself and replied, "my God, that's terrible news. How much is a brazillion?"

What is a Brazilians favorite Pokemon?

Zikachu.

So my friend had a threesome last night, and was telling her blonde friend about it

My friend says, “I slept with two Brazilian men last night.”

Her friend asks, “Wait... how many zeroes are there in a Brazilian?”

This might be the Brazilian cocaine talking,

but I really Really REALLY love Brazilian cocaine.

A Brazilian and Argentinian find a lamp after a football (soccer) match...

On their way back from a very tight football match, two fans, one Brazilian and one Argentinian bump into each other and see a lamp at their feet.

Assuming there is a genie inside, they begin arguing who gets to rub the lamp first. The Brazilian concedes and allows the Argentinian to go firs...

5 Brazilian dollars sounds like a lot of money...

However, with the current exchange rate its only about $1.35 USD

A brazilian, uruguayan and argentinian walk into the bar...

...celona team.
GOAAAAAAAAL !
GOAAAAAAAAL !
GOAAAAAAAAL !

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two dumb blondes are chatting about their latest sexual adventures

Blonde 1: Last weekend I had sex with 2 Mexican guys at the same time.

Blonde 2: Oh yeah? Last weekend I had sex with a Brazilian!

Blonde 1: (completely in shock) Holy shit! How many is a Brazillion?

I asked my friend how she liked her first Brazilian wax...

She told me it was a complete rip-off.

A blonde and a brunette are watching the news.

The newscaster says that two Brazilian civilians were rescued from terrorists the night prior.

The brunette says, “what wonderful news!”

The blonde disagrees: “I don’t know where they expect to move them to - do you have any idea how many a brazillion is??”

A brunette tells her blonde friend that she can finally say that she's slept with a Brazilian.

The blonde looks shocked and says, "OMG, how many is a Brazilian???

A new report indicates Brazilians no longer support the 2016 Olympics

They're too busy raising the team for the 2036 Special Olympics.

back in '02 a general came to George W and informed him that we accidentally dropped a missile in the wrong area and it killed 3 Brazilian men...

Dubya looked VERY distraught and looked over at Condoleezza Rice and asked, "exactly how many is a Brazilian?"

TIL why it is called a Brazilian wax.

Because they cut down the forrest.

The president was getting his daily briefing about world affairs...

The president was getting his daily briefing about world affairs. His advisor concluded it with, "and yesterday three Brazilian soldiers were killed in an attack."

"That's terrible!" responded the president. "We need to act now. I need to talk directly with the people. Set up a time for it, a...

I dated a South American nymphomaniac...

We did it a Brazilian times.

Did you hear about the South American genocide?

The death toll was in the Brazilians

How many hearts can the Belgium football team break at once?

About a brazilian...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl tells her sister about her sexcapades.

She told her blonde sister that she finally did something she always dreamt of doing. She said to her, "I finally fucked a Brazilian." Her sister was amazed! "Oh my god!" she said, "How many is a brazilian?"

Three kids were talking

And one of them said "if you say to an adult that you know all of the truth they will give you a present" some time after that they all go home

When little Johnny arrives at home he decides to test it so he goes to his dad and says "daddy, i know all of the truth" his dad panics a little and...

President Trump stood at the podium in front of a hundred cameras.

"Good morning. I want to tell you about the work our Customs and Border Patrol people are doing on the southern border. I'm being told that we have more people crossing the border illegally now than ever before in our nation's history -- maybe in the history of the world. Yesterday, our people captu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Blondes meet up for coffee...

Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been up to.


"I had sex with two Brazilian guys last night", she said.
"Wow - I've never even met that many guys" replied the other.

George Bush was sitting down at his desk during his morning briefing.

His chief of staff advised him that 3 Brazilian people had died this morning in a helicopter crash.

George sat there sulking in his chair and began weeping (uncharacteristically) to himself.

“Sir, is everything alright?” stated his chief of staff, to which George replied, “How many is ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.