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Venetian Jokes

We should really thank the guy who invented Venetian blinds

Without him it would be curtains for us all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I love this joke but it's in Venetian dialect so I'll try to translate it see if you like it

A man goes in this new place that matches you up with the prostitutes that fits you perfectly.

So he goes in, he pays the 100€ and gets in front of 2 doors.

One says "blonde" the other "brunette".

"Oh fam I'm all for that brunette puss ayy".

And he goes into the "brunett...

How do you make a Venetian blind?

You poke him in the eyes.

Did you hear about the Venetian streetwalker?

She drowned.

What do you call a Venetian cannoli

A Canali

How do you make a venetian blind?

Poke his eyes out

Credits go to my 90 year old grandfather, currently completing his PhD

I was nearly at the freeway entrance...

... when I suddenly remembered that since I had the SUV today, I was stuck with dropping our Great Dane off at the vets that morning. A screeching u-turn, more than a few rolling stops and made it back in record time. Bursting into the house, I tore from room to room, calling for the dog. Throwing ...

Ordering Blinds Online

I ordered a set of blinds off of the internet. When they were delivered there were 2 Italians standing there. I asked what was going on? They replied "We're your new Venetians"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

French, Italian and Russian are talking about their sex lives

French says: "When I get down with my woman, I can get her satisfied. I just slowly undress her latest Parisian fashion garments, and softly whisper of all the dirty things I will do to her. When I get going, she screams all night."

Italian replies: "That's nothing. When my lady and I start t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John arrives home from work one day to hear a voice in his head telling him to quit his job

...quit his job, sell it all, and fly to Vegas. Day after day, it is the same thing. "John, quit your job, sell the house, don't tell the wife, and fly to Vegas."

Over time it starts to get more and more specific.

"John, quit your job at the bank. Sell the house for no less than $200k...

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