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Smoke Alarm Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl are you a smoke alarm?

Because you're really fucking loud and annoying.

My girlfriend's such a bad cook,

she uses the smoke alarm as a timer.

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.

So I took the battery out of the smoke alarm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think the wife's doing a salad for dinner tonight.

Either that, or the smoke alarm's fucked.

My psychology professor asked for an example of a "Pavlovian Response".

I said that thanks to my Mom's cooking, I salivate when I hear a smoke alarm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the blonde burn to death?

She couldn't find the snooze button on the smoke alarm.

I tape microwave popcorn to the ceiling cause

it's cheaper than a smoke alarm.

Congratulations to my wife!

who reached a new culinary milestone today by setting off the neighbors' smoke alarm!

Two men are sitting at the bar

One says to the other: "So I've just crawled into bed. My wife's sound asleep. All of a sudden the smoke alarm starts chirping because the battery died."

The other guy says: "Let me guess. You tried to ignore it, drift to sleep and deal with it in the morning?"

"No way. Do you think I ...

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