UPJOKE
alarmfiresmoke alarmbs 5839 part 1smokefire departmentalarmerscarefirealertfire companyemergencyburnblazebushfirefireless

Hey, girl. Are you a fire alarm

Because you're annoying and wont shut up

They say you should test your fire alarm once a month...

But it's costing me a fortune in houses!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl, are you a fire alarm?

Cause you’re fucking loud and annoying.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife and I were trying to have sex when the slow cooker set off the fire alarm.

I was crock blocked.

Fire alarms should just play Nickelback

Anyone who stays in the building deserves what they get.

I have the ability to leave a building 5m before the fire alarm starts

I call it premature evacuation.

The blind construction worker at my school accidentally pulled the fire alarm.

I don't think the fire alarm was a drill.

I have an ability that I can leave buildings 3m before the fire alarm goes off

But for some reason people call me pyromaniac

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sat on the loo earlier and the fire alarm went off.

Scared the crap out of me

An electrician gets tired of being looked down upon for his profession

so he uses the money he has saved up to become a doctor.

As a resident, he always stood out amongst a crowd that was still mostly younger rich kids who could afford medical school somehow right out of high school and undergrad.

One day in particular, the hospital fire alarm got yanke...

I was making a meal for a family dinner

But I accidentally burnt the food

When my family came to eat they said it was terrible

And I replied “At least the fire alarm thought it was fire”

I accidentally connected the drill to 220v instead of 110v.

When the fire alarm sounded, it was not a drill. Or was it?

Two guys at a bar.

Two guys walk into a bar and order some beers. Suddenly, the town's fire alarm siren goes off. One guy drops his beer, jumps up and races for the door. His friend shouts, "Hey, Tom, I didn't know you were a fireman!" Tom replies, "I'm not, but my girlfriend's husband is."

I was at my school disco..

Walking across the hall to get a drink. One of my classmates came up to me and said ‘dude, your shoes are on smoking hot!’

I gave them a smile and kept walking to get a drink. Another classmate then approached me and said ‘hey bro, you’re on fire tonight!’

I gave them a wink and some ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Costume Party

A couple was going to a costume party. The husband was unsure of what costume to wear. His wife was telling him to hurry or they would be late for the party. She was walking down the stairs from the bedroom, completely naked except on her feet were a big old floppy pair of boots.

"Where is y...

What is Julian Assange's biggest fear?

Having the fire alarm go off.

My school does these things at the end of the year called "Senior Pranks".

Usually the same routine, with some alterations each year. Pull the fire alarm, play inappropriate music over the loud speaker, and throw a couple smoke bombs here and there. I'm always surprised how the local retirement home doesn't threaten to sue anyone.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.