People say that vaccines cause autism. That's not true. It's caused by brown nosing.

Because brown nosing causes assbugers.

How do you call the random eye movement caused by prolonged video gaming?

A Nintendo Twitch

Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of his life, which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which caused him to be rather frail. And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a:

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

A man had a workplace accident which caused him to lose one of his ear.

He had no choice but to get a ear prosthetic to replace his lost ear. However, he seemed to be a completely changed person, from his mannerisms to his personality. His colleague finally caved and asked him one day: "Hey, why have you changed so much since the accident?". To which he replied:
...

What do you call a headache caused my someone stealing your wheat

My-grain

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Due to the recent cutbacks caused by the coronavirus Bruce was told he had to terminate one of his compliance managers.

Alice and Jack we're both exemplary employees and he honestly had no idea which one he would get rid of, but being an honest man he decided he'd speak to them both ahead of time thinking that it might help him make his decision. He called in Alice first and he said listen, I've either got to lay you...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My local sex shop has caused controversy.

They announced they are going to start selling Lager flavored gel that is 5.3% alcohol, for women to rub on their privates in a bid to encourage men to perform oral sex.

Campaigners have condemned the move because of fears it will

lead to 24 hour minge drinking.

What contains the letters a,u, t, and s and is caused by vaccines?

Adults

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Tetanus isn't actually caused by rusty objects, but by bacteria in dirt, which we often associate with rusty nails and tools that can introduce the bacteria through wounds.

This is why tetanus vaccines are so important. For anti-vaxxers, that truth could be hard to swallow.






Any appreciation for lockjaw puns?

We caused 2020

Do you guys remember for the last few years that one post that was like "man can't wait for 2020 so I can say I have 2020 vision"

... this is how 2020 payed us back.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The teacher asks her class โ€œWhat is sex?โ€ and Little Johnny stands up and says โ€œsex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girlโ€™s destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?โ€

and the teacher fainted.

The bus crash that landed me in hospital was caused by a guy standing up to offer a lady his seat.

He'll never work as a bus driver again.

I keep hearing people say these SoCal earthquakes are being caused by the heat or as punishment for how we have been acting. I think they are wrong.

It is actually the San Andreas's fault.

Has COVID-19 caused you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

What do you call a bacterial disease caused by two grizzlies?

Twobearculosis.

It was a typo that caused Clinton's problems...

Monica was actually told to go down and sack his cook.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A Man and His Problem

A man had an extraordinary problem. He had a 15 inch penis. Naturally, it caused him great inconvenience in his daily life, so he wished to shorten his penis. He went to many a doctor, but they all confessed that it was beyond them to fix him. Having lost all hope, as a last resort he visited a wit...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

After 175 years, researchers have finally figured out what caused the Irish Potato Famine of 1845

One of the potatoes that rose to power was named Richard. He was a Dick tater.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium.

She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband Tom had a terrible bicycle wreck, and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What caused Tipper Gore to have a sudden sexual awakening?

Improvements were made in the Al Gore Rhythm.

So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living.

## So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living.

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, b**ut ...

Covid-19 is caused by

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