Explode Jokes - 63 Hilarious Explode Jokes

Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded ?

There was nothing left but de brie

What do you call dynamite that do not explode?

TN'T

What did Zelensky reply to Putin when he called him to complain about the exploded bridge?

“Crimea River!”

The Cheshire Cat would never explode...

But Dinah might.

My chemistry teacher exploded when he caught me goofing around in the lab

I accidentally made nitroglycerin.

Chuck Norris killed 50 enemy combatants with a grenade

Then the grenade exploded.

Did Fred and Wilma explode?

No, but Dinomight.

Where did the guinea pig go when the pet shop exploded?

Everywhere.

Why do masochistic people tend to explode?

Because they are propane

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's worse than waking up with a dick drawn on your face?

Someone telling you it was traced on.
[edits up: guys i gotta say something - HOLY SHIT MY PHONE EXPLODED FROM REPLIES]
[edits up again: have the credits
https://youtube.com/shorts/hSK1Vyoimps?feature=share this joke was too funny not to tell]

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The director of one of America's finest hospitals is showing the President around the hospital.

In one room, the President sees a male patient masturbating furiously. "What's that guy doing?" he asks.

"He has a very rare condition," responds the director. "He produces semen way too quickly. If he doesn't masturbate at least thrice a day, his testicles will explode."

In the next r...

My dog died. He exploded.

He was a mixed breed. Half golden lab, half meth lab.

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A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on a desert island

The only thing on the island besides the three academics is a single can of beans. They are discussing how to get it open.

The physicist suggests that they build a fire and heat up the can until the pressure causes the can to explode.

The chemist says “No, no, the beans will fly eve...

Hey girl, are you an obelisk?

Because I'm trying to find out what an obelisk is through process of elimination.

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As a Muslim redditor, I feel disappointed...

That my posts never blows up.

Edit 1: Everyone says that my jokes are the bomb, but still this shit didn't explode.

Edit 2: KA-BOOOM!

Edit 3: For those wondering, I am a Muslim for real and I find this shit funny af so chill out guys, no need to hate on religions, we're at /r/jo...

So my Irish friend decided to tell his community he's an atheist...

One man in the crowd then yelled "Yes, but is it the Catholic god you don't believe in or the Protestant one?"

(Wow this exploded. Front... *wow*. Gotta say, I like the (current) top comment's version more.)

An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”

The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why wouldn't you want a liar to explode?

Because he's full of shit

A guy is jailed for the first time...

A guy is imprisoned for his first time

On his first night, a few minutes after lights-out, his cellmate moves closer to the cell-bars.

A while later, someone from another cell shouts "Number 13!". His cellmate and the entire block bursts into laughter. The new prisoner finds this s...

After seeing the popularity of r/antiwork explode all I have to say is...

I think all jobs are deserving of respect, but miners are definitely below me.

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American

She shares the joys of being a part of the greatest country in the world, and asks her students to raise their hands if they are or want to be American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however,...

A cheese factory exploded recently..

...Unfortunately, nothing could be salvaged except for de-brie.

I had a bukkake party last night.

It was a disaster. Nobody came.

What do you call a dish that makes your taste buds explode?

A bomb appetit...

My friend forced me to tell the world about my dumb joke.

God, I'm awful, sorry about that!

Why did the dynamite explode in the miner's hands?

Alfred had Nobel to warn him.

What do you call something that explodes at -273.15 degrees Celsius?

0 K boomer

A boy paid a girl $10 to climb a flagpole...

She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened. Her mother said "honey, he just wanted to see your underwear." The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said "I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole." Again she agrees and climbs. She goes...

Guy is at the doctor.

He says "Doc. I can't fart. I feel like I'm gonna explode because I'm so full of gas, but I just can't fart."

So the Doc says "Okay show me."

So Guy pushes really hard and tries his best to make a fart. Eventually he makes a little fart that goes "Pfft, honda."

The doc has a l...

How do you make an Italian explode?

You Rigatoni

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A man applies for a government job

A guy goes into the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?” He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.

”Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?”

“Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.”

The interviewer ...

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Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber...

He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,"You died in your sleep Ralph."

Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead?No I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!

"St Peter said," I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."

Ralph...

Did You Hear About the Pottery Furnace That Exploded?

It was terrible. They had to notify its next of kiln.

An FBI agent tells a Montana rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegal grown drugs.' The old rancher says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.'

The agent verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his badge. The officer proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questi...

Did you hear about the firework that wouldn’t explode?

It refused

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How long does it take for a baby to explode in a microwave?

I do not know, I close my eyes when I masturbate

What happens when a cheese factory explodes?

De-brie goes everywhere.

If You Have Never Seen A Galaxy Explode

Just head to the nearest Samsung store.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A DEA agent stopped at our farm yesterday.

“We are going to need to search your land for illegally grown drugs.”

I said, “that’s fine, but don’t go into that field over there. You won’t like it.”

Agitated by this, the officer explodes saying, “do you see this god damn badge son?! This badge means I can go where I please, when I...

I tried to open a bag of Lays but it exploded all over me.

I've had a chip on my shoulder ever since.

What did the journalist say when he saw an obese sea cow explode?

Oh the huge manatee!

What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?

KA-BROOM!

What do you call an orange that explodes, but comes back?

Boom-orang

What do you call a dinosaur that explodes?

Well I don’t know but the Dinomite.

Tried to spike my pumpkin spice latte with LSD and it exploded

That’s what happens when you mix acid and basic

A guy exploded himself after asking me what damage could explosives do

All i said is "c4 yourself"

Scientists have invented a bomb that explodes when the temperature hits absolute zero

It's called the "0K Boomer"

A flying insect just flew into my kitchen and exploded,

I think it was a Jihaddy long legs.

I can't touch my aunt or I will explode.

She's made of auntie matter.

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Three Soviet generals wager who has bravest soldiers

Soviet army organizes a large military exercise. Three high-ranking officers - an army general, a navy admiral and an air force commander watch the war games from an observation bunker, drink vodka and argue who has bravest men. They can not reach a conclusion, so the army general calls his troops a...

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A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over.

The cop says to the man:

\- Do you know that you were speeding, sir?
\- No officer, I didn't know I was speeding...

The wife then says:

\- Come on, Henry, you knew you were speeding, I've been telling you to slow down for miles.

The man shoots a dark look at his wife...

What do you call it when you poke someone’s head on the exact spot that causes their head to explode?

Acupuncture

Did you hear about the shoe factory that exploded?

Many soles were lost...

Trump explodes in anger as he's refused entry to nativity scene

Proof once and for all that he's unstable

In 1919, a storage tank full of molasses in Boston exploded, causing a flood that killed 21 people.

I guess you could call it the Boston Molassacre.

How do you make a Muslim's phone explode?

Set it to airplane mode.

What do you call 'an exploded hero'?

Heroshima

My favorite position

Is the JFK.

I explode all over her lap while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

A once small tree house building business exploded into a giant nationwide company.

They have branches everywhere these days.

A bus driver was called into court for killing 24 children and 6 adults

The judge asks the bus driver "why did you kill all those innocent people?"

The bus driver, looking a little sad, says "I didn't mean too, It was by mistake!"

"How did it happen?" Asks the judge.

"Well-" said the bus driver, "I was driving to a bus station but suddenly, on the r...

What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded?

What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded?

Looks like we have debris all over the place

Where did the little boy go when his lunch box exploded?

*Everywhere*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dedicated to Amber Heard

After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke, he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and ...

[BREAKING NEWS] A bomb has just exploded in a Paris cheese shop.

Eyewitnesses report there is currently de Brie all over the place.

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