What happens when a high frequency wave hits you?

It hertz.

A boat full of realtors was hit by a rogue wave

The boat, which they had christened "Million Dollar" had taken on quite a lot of water. The panicked realtors hurriedly bailed water using any objects they could find.

They were desperate to hold on to their boat, so they radioed for help: 'million dollar - listing'.

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves ...

Long ago,

when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship.

As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate: 'Bring me my red shirt!'

The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which t...

After building the wall, Trump to build an electromagnetic barrier to prevent foreign bees from entering the U.S. by sending waves that interfere with their communication.

Trump is strictly against Global Swarming

Why does the ocean wave back?

Because it has decent sea.

What’s it called when a short person waves?

Microwave

In 1985, new wave band, A-Ha, wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan that was never used. In the musical, Tinkerbell was supposed to sing to Peter, urging him to try and fight Captain Hook’s right hand man with the intent of demoralizing Hook and his pirate crew...

Taaaaake oooooon Smeeeee

What is schrodinger’s wave?

a person may be simultaneously waving at you and waving at the person behind you. There is no way to know unless you turn behind.

Why was the wave having a bad time?

Because life felt trough.

A woman is driving late at night on a back road when she suddenly sees a hitchhiker wave her over...

The woman stops and let's the man in.

The hitchhiker says, "Wow! I'm really surprised you stopped for me! I could be a serial killer for all you know."

The woman giggles and says, "Nah, I figured you were probably an alright guy. After all, what are the chances of two serial killers en...

Reposts are like women.

They come in waves.

50,000 blondes met in a center for the first ever "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention

Their leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eightee...

Make sure to check your Tauntaun for a fever in this heat wave.

They should always be Luke warm.

Do you think the ocean is salty cause the land never waves back?

I'd be salty too

The cow boys watch....

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies,"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testi...

What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand?

A microwave.

Why did the Audi driver wave when he was let in?

Because he wasn't driving a BMW.

What's the opposite of a microwave?

A tsunami.

Why can't you have a mechanical wave seance in space?

Cause you'd need a medium

What Do Sound Waves Say To Girls They Meet Online?

Send nodes.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man exits his work place and waves at a taxi passing by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time."

Passe...

What did the black holes say when they collided?

Nothing, they just waved.

(Sorry)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Jewish Sex

No matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm.
Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.

The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion:
Hire a strapping young man.
<...

Does the beach wave back when the ocean waves?

No, but it appreciates the sediment.

A whale and a wave make a bet. (Just made this up.)

The whale says to the wave, "I bet I could beat in a race to land." The wave agrees, so the whale takes off. He swims so fast, he drives himself ashore. The wave following behind him says " Hah! Beached ya!"

What is it called when a wave hits you in the face?

A beach slap.

A quantum object turns from wave to a particle...

"It's just a prank bro! Look, there's the observer!!"

My 8 year old brother came up to me and asked if I wanted to hear a joke, this is how it went

Bro," what washes up on a tiny beach?"
Me," No idea."
Bro," a microwave."
Followed by about 2 seconds of me not getting it then laughing for a solid minute

Waves passed through an average-sized psychic.

He's a medium medium-medium.

What did the wave call its grandmother?

Gamma!

Do you know the way little children run towards the waves of the ocean but back up the very last second?

That's the exact same way I flirt with girls

Stellar objects and radio waves?

I always wondered, when hearing stellar bodies like pulsars, quasars and black holes emit radio waves, the following:

1) Are these waves akin to AM/FM/VHF/UHF type signals in that they transmit signals and sound?
2) If not, are these "waves" just variations in the redshift of hydrogen?
...

How Do You Get A One-Armed Man Out Of a Tree?

You Wave.

How do you say good bye to two hundred thousand Indonesians?

A big wave.

The Pope and Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd

The Pope leaned towards Mr. Trump and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they spe...

Politician dies....

While walking down the street one day a Member of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies.


His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.


'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.


'Before you settle in, it seems there is a pro...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A racist man walks into a bar...

He sees a black man sitting casually at the side, and is disgusted by the sight of him.

He then waves to the bartender and says, "I'd like to order a beer for everyone here except the black guy."

As everyone else is treated to a beer, he looks back at the black man in hopes of getting ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two nuns are on a ferry

They're in a rush to get to an important meeting with the bishop, but as the cars start to leave the boat they notice customs performing long drawn out searches of each and every vehicle. One nun turns to the other and says "Sister we really don't have time for this, I'm sure if you show them your c...

After the recent wave of Trump primary victories, what did Nancy Reagan request for her funeral before she died?

To be laid to rest beside the remains of the Republican party

A radio wave walks into a bar and asks for a pint.

The barman says, "here you go, but why the long phase?"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Taylor swift waved at a boy yesterday

But he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

The electromagnetic wave arrived at the hotel, when the hotelier asks...

"Do you have any baggage to check in?" - "No, I'm traveling light."

Today, I saw a black guy wave to an Asian from across the street. It gives me hope for the future...

Rush Hour 4!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to th...

A blonde woman waves a cab

She asks the cab driver
"How much do you charge to drive me to the nearest airport?"

The cab driver answers
"Around 20 bucks"

The woman then says "I'm carrying luggage, do these get charged?"

Driver: "No, i don't charge for luggage"

The woman smiles, leaves her lug...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A priest walks into a bar

A priest walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and asks for a drink.

“Sorry,” says the bartender, “we don’t serve your kind here.”

Baffled, the priest tries to object, but before he can, the bartender walks off. So, furious, the priest just decides to leave. But as he’s walkin...

A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.

The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. He never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. ...

Is the Sea salty because the land doesn't wave back?

Someone else thought it was a funny thought of mine on showethoughts

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's it like having sex with a wave?

Fucking hertz.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

THAT's how you do it!

So there's a couple that have been happily married for 30 years, except for one thing: the woman has never had an orgasm. So they visit a marriage counselor.

The counselor listens to their tale of woe, and says to the husband, "Here's what you do. Go to the gym and find a strapping young man....

A man was driving along the highway......

.........and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately it jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become o...

What do you call a beach with crooked waves? [OC]

A Scoli-ocean!

(Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)

Two sailors are on deck looking out to sea.

In the distance, a huge hand rises from the water.

It keeps rising as the wrist and forearm become visible, the fingers stretching into the air. It wobbles back and forward then falls, crashing into the sea.

One sailor turns to the other and asks, 'Did you see the size of that wave?

Captain Smith is an officer of the Union army.

One day, his unit gets overran by an overwhelming ambush by the Confederate army. He is captured and taken to a Confederate garrison where he is brought up to General Jones. To his surprise, he is greeted warmly and served a sumptuous lunch and aged bourbon by his captors.

"I'm sorry, Captain...

Scientists detected gravitational waves directly for the first time

Your mom's gonna get half the Nobel prize.

Two witches were arguing about who was the better witch

One rainy day inside the coven HQ, Meredith and Wendy were arguing about who was the better witch.

"I'm the superior spellcaster", boasted Meredith. She raised her wand into the air, and conjured up a small cloud. It snowed over Wendy's head, dropping hailstones the size of marbles.

"...

An ultralow frequency sine wave radiates into a bar.

The bartender says, "Hey, why the long phase?"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three Couples, Two Straight and One Gay

Three couples, two straight and one gay, are on a cruise when the ship gets hit by a tidal wave. The ship capsizes and they all drown and find themselves before St. Peter.

The first straight couple goes up and asks St. Peter "Can we enter heaven?"

St. Peter replies "You, sir, are a gl...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An accountant found guilty of embezzlement was thrown into a cell with a large, hairy intimidating man

The small accountant had heard stories about how he was going to become the victim in this rough prison to which he had been sentenced. He looked up at the very hairy, sweaty, cell mate and slightly trembled.

The accountant was slightly heartened when the hulking man before him asked, "So, do...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An old man tells his doctor that his wife never has an orgasm while they are having sex.

The doctor suggests that perhaps she is overheating. So when the man gets home he asks his young and good-looking gardener to assist by waving a towel to cool off his wife while they are having sex. The gardener is reluctant but agrees. While the couple is having sex, the gardener frantically wav...

A guy is grocery shopping when he sees a beautiful blonde, who smiles and waves at him.

She stops to talk to him, and he can't remember who she is. Instead of faking it, he fesses up and says, "Hi - you look really familiar, but I don't remember how I know you."

She responds, "My name is Taylor, and I think you're the father of one of my children."

The guy's mind reels w...

Road Kill

Driving along An English country road one night and what appeared to be A massive rabbit jumped out in front of the car and bang, I knocked it flying. I stopped the car and went to investigate what I'd hit. The animal was dead so i moved it to the side of the road. Another car pulled up and this guy...

What do you call tiny waves that wash up onto a beach?

Microwaves!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.

He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:

Hamburger - 2.99

Cheeseburger - 3.99

Chicken Sandwich - 4.99

Hand Jobs - 19.99

The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at th...