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Shoppe Jokes

Out of Respect for Meat Loaf Passing I Went to the Record Shoppe

They had Bat out of Hell and Bat Out of Hell Volume 2 but I couldn't find Volume 3. I asked them about it.

They told me "Two out of three ain't bad."

Went to the vitamin shoppe for some energy supplements.....

And the sales rep is telling me about b vitamins, he goes :
"You got your b-12 your b-6, have you taken these vitamins previously "?
I asked:
"You mean like b-4"?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ice Cream Shoppe

A guy goes into an ice cream parlor. He walks up to the man at the counter and says, "I'd like some chocolate ice cream in a bowl, please." "I'm sorry, sir," says the man, "but I'm afraid we're out of chocolate." "Oh," says the man. "In that case I'll have some chocolate in a cone." So the man says,...

A group of Catholic sisters want to open up a flower shoppe...

...it’s going to be called “Nuns N’ Roses”.

A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully,

slowly climbed up onto a counter stool.

He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae.

“Crushed nuts?” asked the server.

“No,” he answered.

“Bad knees.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] Lori was assistant manager at the Sex Shoppe, and had been for a long time wondering, when do I get my shot at being Manager?

One day, her boss, the owner, said, “Lori, I have to go on a business trip for the weekend. You’re in charge. Let’s see how you handle it. You know the business well enough. Just remember, the new dildo line goes on sale Saturday. That’s $25 for the white dildos, and $50 for the black dildos.”
...

A butcher in London...

So there's a butcher who lives in one of the more run down neighbourhoods of London. As such, he constantly has to deal with petty thieves trying to steal meat out of his shop. He's not an educated man, but he becomes quite crafty in protecting his livelihood. One day, the Duke of Wellington passes ...

There's this penguin...

There's this penguin, driving through the South, the Deep South... late August. The hot months. "Ew! But it sure is hot!" the penguin lisped from behind the wheel of his choking jalopy.

Suddenly! The jalopy fails the penguin and he has to push it down a bumpy road to the next small town. He g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Wasp who Won America's Heart (shaggy dog)

Deep in the wasp swamps of the wasp Florida keys, there lived a young wasp. Just as a proper wasp does, this wasp worked day and night for the hive. He worked and slaved and gave his all - but this wasp was no regular wasp, for within him was the ambition and the wisdom of a great, great wasp. So, w...

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